Some People Just Suck
You Don’t Need to Overthink It
If you’ve read my writing, then you’ve likely noticed that I’m an overthinker. Not today.
I have a super clear message today. No analysis paralysis here.
Ever since I was a little child on a playground, I never understood why people mistreated each other. I remember that distinctly — watching other children push each other or be selfish or call each other names.
I just didn’t get it. It didn’t make any sense. “Why would they do that?” my tiny, already anxiety-ridden brain wondered.
Ever since, one thing has always drawn my curiosity: Intentions. Why on earth do people do the things that they do? What is the purpose? What’s the rationale? What’s the end game? Are they going for a quick win or is this a long con? What. Is. The. Angle?
Well, my message is the same as my headline: Some people just suck.
Does it really matter why Jimmy in accounting decided to reject your expense report for the 11th straight time? Do you need to know why attention-seeking Karen in corporate decided to throw herself a party the same night at the same bar as your office birthday party? [Eye roll] That’s so Karen…
Will it really make you feel any better knowing why they’re being sh*tty to you? Do you get a free super-sized fry and soda if banality of evil is the cause? Skittles for sociopathy, perhaps? Maybe a free ticket to Cancun because your maniac boss’s mom never gave him the cuddles? What do you think?
No. It doesn’t matter for sh*t.
But you know that already. It’s just this sick obsession that we have. We want to know the reason. There always has to be a reason. People couldn’t possibly just go around being terrible to each other for sh*ts and giggles, could they?
Well, yes, my little fair-weather friend, yes, they can. And they do.
Some people just suck.
Bob from the brewery bangs his high-school sweetheart because he wants to get his rocks off and…because he hates his wife. Dolores rides pogo-stick during lunch because she likes to break the rules with the boss. Carrie just couldn’t calm down this morning until she knocked the gingerbread house off your desk.
We are sick, depraved, selfish creatures. Sometimes we do bad things precisely because we know they are bad, as if violating some sanctimonious code is going to get us 20 virgins and a house in the Hollywood f*cking Hills.
We crap in bags, light them on fire and dump them on a doorstep for god sakes. Do you think that has a purpose? Toilet paper in trees? Eggs? The f*cking centerpiece of a hearty breakfast? The horror.
Let’s go back even further. Chewing gum in hair? Lighting an M-80 your sister’s Barbie is straddling like a Symbian? Throwing rocks at the windshields of passing cars? Really? Yeah, uh, must be testing tensile strength. Right.
Okay. Maybe that’s too far back. Let’s go back to the office.
Do you think Barbara from finance really gives a sh*t what client to charge for that $0.23 conference call? No, she rides you up and down the hallway because she knows that it’s going to chap your ass.
Your boss knew about that assignment all week. He saved it until 5 pm on Friday because he likes to see you squirm. In fact, I’ll bet he ranks that moment up there with the t*tty bar he hit on Tuesday with Jimmy, who, by the way, has been skimming money for over a decade.
We are bad because we want to be. We are sh*tty because we can get away with it. We are evil when we have plausible deniability.
It’s. Just. That. Simple.
So, don’t do what I did. There’s no need to pick up six books on sociopaths to make sense of old colleagues. You don’t need to know that their limbic systems have atrophied. Knowing Karen has a shriveled-up prune of an amygdala won’t give you any answers.
Sometimes people just suck. Don’t waste the brain power trying to figure it out. When you focus on them, then the sh*theads win.
You don’t want Jimmy to win. Do you?
I didn’t think so.
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This post was authored by Gunther Thorndike, the alter ego of Russell Weigandt