Solutions to Autistic Burnout
A look at autistic burnout and strategies to overcome it.
As a self-diagnosed person on autism spectrum, I enjoy spending time alone more than with people, and this is true of many autistic people.
I can be a bit of a loner. Last week I didn’t get enough alone time to myself. I felt like I was going to practically self-destruct. I’m still recovering.
I spend six hours a day in a classroom as a teacher. I come home exhausted and just want to spend some time alone reading or writing rather than interacting with my wife and son.
But when I don’t get time alone for myself I’m susceptible to autistic burnout, the accumulation of stress that cause autistics to shut down from sensory overload and masking their natural self to fit into a neurotypical world.
However, I am realizing time alone is essential to my mental health. Without time alone to destress and to replenish my mental energy I begin to lose touch with myself and my mental, emotional and physical well-being.
Autistic Burnout
The term autistic burnout is widely used within the autism community, typically for a feeling similar to burnout from a demanding job, but its effects (in comparison to burnout for neurotypical people) apply to all areas of life.
Sometimes, it’s also referred to as “autistic regression.”
Autistic adults experiencing autistic burnout reports the effects include loss of skills, functioning and coping abilities, the loss of a job or a relationships, and a gradual or sharp decline in their mental, emotional and physical well-being.
In worst cases, autistic burnout can lead to permanent disability or suicide, according to Dora Haymaker, a researcher at Portland State University who is on the spectrum and has done extensive research on autistic burnout.
Three types of autistic burnout
Haymaker conducts community-based research where autistic participants are co-researches in every phase of the research, and thus far the research has identified three types of autistic burnout: low-level and constant, intense and acute and social burnout where tolerance for interaction decreases.
My experience with autistic burnout has been low-level and constant due to the many demands required to be a teacher, and that’s why time alone is so important for me to recover from the sensory overload of a typical work day.
However, in Haymaker’s research many autistic individuals report the symptoms of their autistic burnout is more intense and acute with a more severe impact on their mental health, as in the case of this autistic man:
“The overwhelming confusion of what was wrong with me, why I couldn’t connect with anyone [at work], was what led me to crash and burn out. I started shutting down. I could feel each system in my body closing off. I had no way to communicate this. It was like a switch had gone off in my verbal ability to convey what was going on. I did not want to die. I needed to escape, but the only way I knew how to do that was to die, so I tried.”
— Kieran, An Autistic Burnout in The Autistic Advocate
Haymaker describes autistic burnout as “heightened stress and a diminished ability to manage life skills which comes from years of being overtaxed by the strain of trying to live up to the demands that are out of sync with our needs.”
Time periods when autistic burnout is most likely
According to her research, Haymaker found autistic burnout is most common at transition points of increased independence in childhood and adolescence, entering into adulthood or starting a job with increased social expectations.
The increased emotional and mental demands can be overwhelming. One participant in her study described autistic burnout as “having all your internal resources exhausted beyond measure and being left with no cleanup crew.”
This is how I typically feel when I don’t get time alone to recover from the sensory overload and total exhaustion and why I’ve learned it’s vital to have a few strategies in my mental health handbag to deal with autistic burnout.
Strategies to overcome autistic burnout
Haymaker lists ten strategies to cope with autistic burnout in her talk, “Autistic Burnout and Costs of Coping and Passing” to the Seattle Children’s organization:
- paying attention to your mind and body
- scheduling breaks
- spending time alone to replenish energy
- reducing self-expectations
- pursuing special interests
- stimming
- spend with other autistic people or with similar interests
- time spent without masking
- Time off from school, job, life
- passage of time: to recover
I’ve found that I use all of these strategies and drifted towards them to deal with the total exhaustion I feel from the mental and social demands of work — and they help me to not experience severe effects from autistic burnout.
One analogy she uses that I relate to is autistic people have a certain amount of spoons, and we have to use these spoons for the basic tasks in a typical day, and so it’s critical we learn to manage the use of the spoons during the day.
For example, I often eat along during my lunch time. It’s not that I don’t want to interact with other, but I need this 35-minute down time to replenish my mental energy or I can sense my emotional stability beginning to decrease.
What non-autistic research says
Research not related to autism says spending time alone is a good. According to Kendra Cherry’s article in Verywell Mind, “How Important is Alone Time to Mental Health?” spending time alone has several benefits to mental health.
One benefit is it gives you time to explore personal interests. We all have passions outside of our work. Time alone gives us the opportunity to explore these passions that are essential to our growth and development. This is true for autistic and neurotypical people.
Rather than continue to replay thoughts or emotions from my work day, I like to spend my time switching into the world of my interests. This is what helps me the most to let go of the heightened stress built up throughout a work day.
Research also reveals time alone is critical to creativity. One recent study found that people who spend time alone tend to be highly creative people who require time alone to pursue creative pursuits such as writing or music.
My alone time
Everyone’s alone time will look different. The key is to find the activities you enjoy doing and to give yourself the permission to do your special interests.
I love mornings. I make coffee, sit at the kitchen table and write. Writing connects me to myself and helps me to get my brain going in the morning.
Last week, I used Natalie Goldberg’s writing prompts to help me learn to write more freely and deeply and to help me to get unstuck in writing my memoir.
One prompt said write about your first girlfriend. Mine was Mary Jo. I was in sixth grade. My friend used to relay messages between us because I was shy.
We moved after I completed seventh grade. In eighth grade, things improved. A girl sat next to me at a high school football game and mentioned four girls’ names. She said pick one of the girls and she would be my girlfriend.
So I did, and we held hands after the game walking to a video arcade that sold hot dogs, French fries and Mello Yello, but we broke up two weeks later.
That’s what I like about time alone. You can travel back in time to see what you were like at different points in your life and how you’ve grown over time.
You can do whatever you want because it’s your alone time.
Another key benefit to alone time
“You figure out the way forward by moving forward.” — Tim Denning
Like everyone else, autistic people have to struggle to find their path in life that is congruent with their personality, talents and personal interests.
I disagree with Tim Denning because I’ve moved forward in my life a lot without thinking about where I am going by making knee-jerk reactions and I think I am not the only person to do this.
A lot of this could’ve been avoided by spending some time by myself.
When I spend time alone, it sometimes feels like I’m not moving forward, but spending time alone allows me to think about how I want to move forward.
The one time I made a decision where I took the time to think out what I really wanted to do in my life was when I became the director of a crisis hotline.
This was my favorite job I’ve had. Helping other people resonated with my heart. I could work 12 hours a day and it felt like two or three hours.
Tim Denning is right, too
I agree that even if you’re not 80 or 100 percent sure which direction you want to go in your life, moving forward will help to find your way because you can alter your course along the way as necessary while you move forward.
Radical Aloneness is a not bad
The next time someone tries to make you feel bad for spending time alone, remember this: Radical aloneness is a good thing. It helps you to move forward and not backwards. And it prevents your from experiencing autistic burnout.
I am rereading Cheryl Strayed’s memoir Wild. Every page screams the benefits of spending time alone (more excitingly than the research I quoted earlier). If I were to make a list, her four main benefits of spending time alone would be:
- It helps her to heal from losses (her mom’s death and a divorce).
- It provides her time to heal from all the other unhealed losses such as abandonment by her abusive dad as a child (hiking for three or four months alone allows you this luxury to go deeper into past wounds)
- Most importantly, time alone allows her to regain a part of herself.
- And it lets her discover who she is and to allow that person grow.
The subtitle says it all, “Lost and Found on the Pacific Coast Trail.” I think what Strayed is saying is time alone can heal our deepest wounds, including those accumulating in our work place that could cause autistic burnout.
I’m not suggesting you go hike the PCT to heal your wounds, but don’t be afraid to carve out time for yourself and take a break from the grind of life.
You can just take a walk at the park and enjoy spending time alone by yourself and allow yourself to think whatever thoughts you want to think or to feel.
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