Solid Advice For White People Who Want to Stop Being Racist
18 tips for those serious about examining their own anti-Black racism
Repeatedly, I’ve seen White people sincerely ask what they should do once ready to acknowledge the anti-Black racism within. Often, this question comes from formerly disillusioned people who didn’t think they had a “racist bone” in their body (ha!) or who thought they were raised not to see color. Upon realizing their entire lives have been spent segregating themselves from Blackness while intentionally seeking out White dominated spaces, they begin to question how and why these and other not so conscious habits formed. Awakened to the subtle ways they were taught anti-Blackness — perhaps not outright, but definitely in the messaging all around them — they are mortified and want the toxicity out of their thoughts and behaviors for good. To those people and only those people, here’s my advice:
- Be vulnerable and honest with the people closest to you in acknowledging you hold anti-Black racist attitudes and beliefs.
- Make a firm decision to work toward not being racist anymore and ask others to hold you accountable when they witness you aligning with racist ideas, attitudes and actions. (Of course, this can only be done by people who recognize racist ideas, attitudes and actions in themselves. If you are lucky enough to have non-White friends, they can also help, but do not attempt to place a burden on them to “teach you” if that’s not their bag.)
- Understand and embrace that you will feel uncomfortable and embarrassed when a spotlight is held on your anti-Black racism. Despite this, be determined to keep moving forward in ridding yourself of racist attitudes and behaviors.
- Find a suitable therapist who can help you on this journey. Preferably one who isn’t White and one experienced in dealing with your particular disorder.
- Declass Whiteness. Understand its origins and that continuing to align yourself with the false and evil construct is divisive.
- Seek out the histories you haven’t learned (especially about the cultures and ethnicities you find yourself being the most racist toward).
- Prepare yourself to discover you’ve been lied to and not told the whole truth about historical figures and events other White people hold dear.
- Listen to Black people. Don’t seek to argue with them and don’t even think about rebutting their points of view. Instead, deeply listen to their experiences especially as they relate to being on the receiving end of discrimination.
- Challenge your own stereotypes and assumptions about Black people. Ask yourself why you don’t feel equal to Black people or from where your attitudes toward them stem.
- Read books and consume media created by and for Black people.
- Step outside of your social comfort zones. Make an effort to befriend groups of Black people. Emphasis on “groups” because just having one Black friend tokenizes people. Besides, you need an authentic group dynamic where you are the minority and where Whiteness (yours and other people’s) will not be centered.
- Consistently check yourself when you find yourself acting or thinking in racist ways. This means being keenly aware of your thoughts and motives at all times. Guard your thoughts and challenge any that want to stray back into racist patterns and beliefs.
- Observe and respect the full humanity, diversity and beauty of Black people.
- Only ask questions of Black people (about racism) when you genuinely do not know the answer already. Don’t troll people with questions that are nothing more than thinly-veiled racial assaults or that you can research on your own. And definitely don’t attempt to gaslight Black people online with trollish questions about Blackness or racism.
- Recognize and call anti-Black racism out when you see it in other people and systems.
- SEE color. SEE differences. Do NOT pretend to be colorblind. Colorblindness leads to silence and denial, which allows anti-Blackness to grow unchecked.
- Loudly and intentionally separate yourself from other racists. Be they family, friends, co-workers, it doesn’t matter. If they are content in being anti-Black and show no interest in working to rid themselves of this, be done with them and be vocal about why. Would a drug abuser trying to beat her addiction still pal around with people who enjoy using drugs? Treat this the same and distance yourself from the anti-Black racists you know.
- Realize Black people don’t owe you anything. No one has to help you, answer your questions, include you in their spaces, be your friend, forgive you or understand what you’re working through, least of all Black people. Grasp this now and accept any resistance or rejection you may face. This is YOUR journey. You’re not doing any Black person a favor by ridding yourself of anti-Black sentiments, you’re doing yourself a favor because it is your humanity that has been interrupted and corrupted by believing the lies of Whiteness.
Are You Ready to Start This Journey?
You should be. Just like you found this article, go out and find more resources to help guide your path. If you are a parent, involve your children on this journey so that they don’t grow into adults misguided into believing they aren’t equal to Black people. Anti-Black racism is not Black people’s problem to fix, it is up to you and the generations you’re responsible for to do the right thing.
Need More to Help You Get Started? Read My Other Stories:
