Social Darwinists Rejoice As Private Miami School Bans Teachers Vaccinated Against COVID-19
Let nature play its course.
A private school in the fashionable Design District of Miami banned teachers vaccinated against COVID-19 from contact with students. One of the co-founders, Leila Centner, issued the ultimatum that teachers cannot return if they got vaccinated without telling the school ahead of time. Centner pulled up a false study that claimed that non-vaccinated students suffer more when being around vaccinated people.
This move has surprisingly received acclaim from the sensible and mask-wearing community, most importantly Social Darwinists.
“Wait, so you’re telling me that the selfish morons who continue to spread the virus via no masks and no vaccines are now threatening to congregate in ONE SINGLE PLACE? This is amazing! Isolated from the rest of the normal folks in one school. We now know how to identify sick patients who failed to comply with government laws! We just ask them what school they work at, or where they send their kids to!”
“I’m so relieved that our healthcare workers finally have an identification system to turn down helping idiots. After months of incredible stress and hours spent in the hospital, they need a break.”
“Thank god this is a private school. If you’re spending this much money to ignore the basics of science, you deserve to send your children to die. I’m so glad we finally have a segregated community for these snobbish, anti-science elite.”
“The fact that this school is in Florida is simply icing in the cake. Florida has always been the leading export of morons. It would be my desire to wipe out all citizens in Florida, but I suppose COVID-19 would have to do the job for me.”
“I’ve requested that the world needed a plague for years. I got my wish, but am disappointed by the outcome. I expected COVID-19 to kill all the anti-vaccination and anti-mask crowd, but I’m disgusted that this disease doesn’t discriminate. With this mandate, we can let natural selection take its course and kill off all these people.”
“Heard immunity will now thrive once again. We took a step further in segregating the normal people from the anti-vaxxers. If we can just convince the anti-vaxxers to wear masks so they can protect themselves from the vaccinated, everyone will live in peace.”
Not everyone was happy by the outcome. This ultimatum left some teachers in a dilemma. They want to get vaccinated but can’t out of fear of losing their livelihood. As it turns out, another opportunity is in place. New York governor and proud Social Darwinist Andrew Cuomo took time off from running his euthanasia clinic to address the new surplus of vaccinated teachers/desire-to-vaccinate teachers.
Cuomo stated that New York charter and private schools are struggling to match education expectations, and that they would welcome these teachers with open arms.
Disclaimer: All characters and events in this article, even those based on real people and events, are entirely fictional. It is written to poke fun at the subjects mentioned. It is satire. For now.
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