Andrew Cuomo Defends Leaving Senior Citizens to Die In Nursing Homes
The GOP has been scrapping at the bottom of the barrel, finding scraps in heaps of garbage, and locating needles in a haystack manually just to find something to undermine Democrats. It has gotten to the point where they changed their mascot from the elephant to the raccoon. After all these weeks of digging, they found something worth chewing on.
The GOP has criticized and bashed New York governor Andrew Cuomo for underreporting COVID deaths in nursing homes. The party argued that Cuomo did so just to make Democrats look better and Republicans look worse during the Trump administration. New York Trump Congressman Chris Collins stated.
“The GOP has a track record of caring for the elderly and sick only when it benefits them. Since the Democratic Party will suffer from this PR nightmare, we Republicans will not stand for this inadequate care for sick patients.”
Democrats have pressured Cuomo to resign for compromising moral beliefs in favor of his political agenda. The liberal party even offered Cuomo to save face by switching allegiance to the Republican Party. Cuomo has stubbornly refused to step down, claiming that he did nothing wrong in underreporting and providing inadequate care to the elderly.
“What’s the big deal? They’re in nursing homes! Their adult children wouldn’t take care of the elderly themselves. The children felt it was better to pay a bunch of strangers to take their loved ones out of their hands. At this point, these nursing home citizens are just wasting country resources.
“I covered up those numbers because I wanted to accurately report the COVID deaths. Nursing home senior citizens are probably less than 3/5 of a regular person. Hell, they probably don’t even equate to any part of a person. They’re already brain dead. You ever interacted with them? It’s another Weekend at Bernie's. I only wanted to report the deaths that actually matter to the pandemic.”
Cuomo reiterated his stance.
“I could never be a Republican. I’m a staunch believer in science and reasoning, which makes me a Democrat by default. If anything, America should be thanking me for allowing natural selection to run its course.”
Cuomo finishes his speech by proposing a plan to address this issue in nursing homes. He pledged to use his savings to open New York’s first euthanasia clinic.
Disclaimer: All characters and events in this article, even those based on real people and events, are entirely fictional. It is written to poke fun at the subjects mentioned. It is satire. For now
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