Six Ways To Make Peace With Medium

Summary

The article "Serious Judo: Six Ways To Make Peace With Medium" by Carlo Zeno humorously advises writers on how to cope with the challenges of publishing on the Medium platform.

Abstract

Carlo Zeno's piece, "Serious Judo," is a satirical guide aimed at helping Medium writers navigate the platform's idiosyncrasies. It suggests embracing the algorithm, failure, and even the financial limitations of the site. Zeno encourages a paradoxical love for the often-frustrating aspects of Medium, such as watching one's stories receive little engagement or making minimal earnings despite positive feedback. The article also pokes fun at the prevalence of bots and the underutilized Tip Function. The tongue-in-cheek advice is intended to help writers maintain a sense of humor and perspective while engaging with Medium.

Opinions

The author playfully suggests that writers should adopt a Zen-like acceptance of Medium's algorithm, despite its indifference or even hostility to their work.
Zeno humorously advocates for a love of failure and the humbling experience of publishing stories that don't perform well, as a way to cope with the disappointment.
The article satirizes the financial realities of writing on Medium, where even well-received articles may yield very little income.
Zeno critiques the presence of bots on Medium, which contribute to clutter and potentially detract from genuine human interaction and content discovery.
The Tip Function is highlighted as an ironic object of affection, given its apparent lack of use or impact on a writer's earnings.
The author's tone implies that a sense of humor and self-deprecation can be therapeutic for writers facing the often unpredictable and unrewarding nature of the Medium platform.

Black Belt Level

Make sure you write these down, little one / Photo by Brian Tromp on Unsplash

Love your enemy. I mean the algorithm. We know It’s not your friend. Love It anyway.

Love failure. Failing is what we do on Medium. Instead of hating it, love it. Simple.

Love watching a story you publish bomb. Watching a story you wrote bomb can be a humiliating and agonizing experience. If you want to save face, even if only for yourself, then love watching your story explode in dead clapless silence.

Love poverty. Love watching your successful stories that received a ton of claps and praise make $1.27. Love that you will have to wait a week before affording a cup of coffee down the street.

Love the bots. Love all of the listicle-pushing bots who fill up all of the air space on your Medium home feed and even find themselves included in the Medium Staff Picks.

Love the Tip Function. Love the Tip Function that has never been utilized by anyone. Not even by your own mother.

I ran out of ideas after six, but this little list should help begin to improve some of your relationships with the elusive Medium platform.

Be sure to scroll down to the bottom of the page so you can behold the beautiful shining green Tip Function in all its glory. Look at it, admire it, maybe size it up from different angles, and then move on to your next story.

Thanks to the team at Everything Fun for considering adding this potentially therapeutic piece to their wall of fun and nonsense. For more sagely advice, check out these scary tips 👇

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