RELATIONSHIP ADVICE

Simultaneous Orgasm: Climax Together with Your Partner

Come with me baby one more time

Can you imagine the simultaneous orgasm in the threesome?

Simultaneous orgasm;

It sounds really great, It sounds really dreamy.

Today I am here to talk about something that perhaps all of us have aimed for, striven for, or wanted to achieve which is the simultaneous orgasm with his or her partner.

Now all that means is two people having reaching orgasm at the same time it’s just a really fancy way of saying that.

But it’s so much more than that.

In our culture, this is the pinnacle, the apex, the climax. That of sexual satisfaction between a couple.

How do I know that because it’s in a lot of movies. A lot of sex scenes, a lot of pornos and I know that because you’ve written to me about it. The men that I work within my one-on-one coaching clients,

The men that I coach in my private practice have asked me,

How do I get my woman and I to reach orgasm together simultaneously?

Your Guide

I’m here to give you the step-by-step guide for getting there.

Well, at least the basis upon which your step-by-step guide is going to work. Because everybody’s a little bit different. Buckle up first things first.

I got to say there’s a lot of pressure on orgasms. There’s pressure to have orgasms, the pressure to have the right kind of orgasms;

• Vaginal orgasms,
• Anal orgasms,
• Clitoral orgasms,
• …

Not too early and not too late

And I don’t want to add any more pressure to the already highly pressurized orgasm by saying that it has to happen at the same time.

In fact, most of the best orgasms that I have ever had personally did not happen at the same time as my partner was having an orgasm.

Orgasms can be great,

They can be phenomenal, They can be absolutely earth-shattering.

I can literally only think baby once in my entire life that my orgasm was actually super memorable, super amazing, and happened simultaneously most of the time.

It’s gonna be awesome.

It might have a lot to do with your partner.

Focusing on your pleasure and if they’re focusing on your pleasure then they’re probably not focusing on their pleasure which means that they’re probably not bringing themselves to Oreos I’m at the same time.

Let’s just get that one off the table.

Orgasms do not have to happen simultaneously to be awesome.

Now that said, a lot of people do want a simultaneous orgasm. I think it’s because at the core it means that,

My orgasm, my arousal was so arousing to you that it caused you to reach an orgasm.

I think that’s the core of why the simultaneous orgasm holds the special venerated spot that it does in our culture.

Why do you think the simultaneous orgasm is such a big deal?

Sex is such a solo adventure even when you do it with another person as you get lost in your own head.

You get lost in your own mind especially at the point of orgasm.

It’s almost like you fall into yourself and so the simultaneous orgasm is a way of knowing that you’re still here with me.

Even though you’re like closing your eyes and it feels so good like you’re basically in a black hole of your own pleasure and you’re still here with me at the same time.

Here’s the thing you’ve got to know if you’re gonna make the simultaneous orgasm happen. Which is that,

Both partners are going to have to work their way up to the climax separately and then time them so that they can both reach together.

1. Know Your Body

Both partners need to know how to bring themselves to orgasm like if you’ve never had an orgasm before then going for the simultaneous one.

It’s kind of like, never eating ice cream. But then going for like a Triple Banana Split Sundae. I mean if you’ve never eaten ice cream like that’s gonna be awesome.

It’s like if you’ve never driven a car and then all of a sudden you’re like,

Let’s do the Autobahn.

I think I could drive it 120 miles an hour.

Just like you gotta walk before you run. First,

1. Figure out how to get you to orgasm,
2. And make sure your partner knows how to get themselves to orgasm.

2. Communicate Where You Are

You need to be able to communicate where you are in the process between arousal and orgasm.

I like to use a 10 point scale where,

1 = I’m not very aroused at all very far away from orgasm, 10 = I’m coming so you need to be able to report for yourself.

I’m about a 7, I’m an 8, I’m a 9,

I’m reaching the point of no return, I’m definitely going to reach orgasm soon.

Talking like this the best way for you and your partner to have shared language aka communication over where you are.

So that you know where they are, So that you can go into.

3. Have Control Over Your Orgasm

Now you don’t have to have perfect orgasmic mastery. It’s okay but you do need to have;

• Enough body awareness,
• Enough control.

If your man has a degree of control so that you can start to make micro-adjustments like slowing down or speeding up as your partner gets closer or further away from orgasm.

4. Adjust & Adjust

What you’re doing, move the position to bring both partners closer to reaching that level 8-9-10 at the same time.

For example, let’s see there are a man and a woman,

• Man he lasts about 10 minutes in bed,
• Woman uses a vibrator usually to bring herself to orgasm but it can sometimes take her up to 20 to reach her.

Well for these people I would say for her,

1. Start to play with yourself,
2. Start to play with the vibrator or bring the vibrator into sex.

Pick a position where you can play with the vibrator well in advance of him. Starting to really get worked up.

She should get a 10-minute head start on him right.

This is basic math people.

Let her get a 10-minute head start. Let him work himself up as slowly as possible at about 10 minutes.

After he starts mark which would be 20 minutes after she started. They should be reaching about the same level of arousal that’s when the communication really comes in and we say okay.

We need to speed up, slow down,

We need to [add something sexy]…

Add dirty talk — it helps if you know your partner right

Know their face — it helps if you know how they write before they reach orgasm

If you know that he kind of froze his brow. A lot of guys do this. It’s okay don’t worry about it. Your own face is perfect and beautiful exactly as it is.

5. Focus on Him/Her

Then finally here’s probably what I think is the best tip in the whole book.

If you’re gonna try to reach simultaneous orgasm. Focus on how arousing you find your partner’s orgasm to be okay.

How does orgasm work?

We see something, We think of something, We feel something.

That is so arousing it just tips us over the edge. That’s one of the ways that we reach orgasm and if your partner’s orgasm is so arousing to you that it just pushes you over.

At the edge, you’re more likely to reach orgasm when they do right.

Women

If you’re a woman, focus on the things about your man orgasming. Ejaculating, finishing, coming that turn you on like what turns you on about it.

Maybe it’s,

• The visuals,
• The sound that he makes,
• Just knowing the fact that he’s there with you

And that orgasm is with you by you and for you like if that’s what turns you on. Focus on those aspects of it as he reaches his point of no return.

Men

If the thing that turns you on about your woman reaching orgasm is that you did it like you were strong, you were barrel, you made that orgasm happen focus on that or if it’s,

• The flush of her face,
• The noises that she makes,
• Eyes roll back into her head.

Focus on the thing that really arouses you.

Maybe it’s like actually seeing her. Literally seeing between her legs. So you can get into a position where you can literally see her and that way you’re gonna be the most aroused.

You’re gonna see something that is very highly arousing for you.

And that’s more likely than something that’s not highly arousing to push you over the edge at the exact time that your partner orgasms.

Hot Tip:

This is a great time to bring in a vibrator for the last minute like if she just needs a little bit extra.

If you’re getting closer, you’re almost there, you’re almost there, you’re almost there.

It’s like this is a great time to bring in toys and anything else that it’s gonna help to get you again to the same destination at the same time.

Recap

I know creative people reaching orgasm together so that they can feel connected and they can feel like porn stars

If you’re so focused on the simultaneous orgasm you’re actually not even experiencing pleasure during sex.

Check your priorities.

Maybe come back and try this another time.

If you’re a man who likes going down on your woman. Working on her with her vibrator. Getting her really close edging her.

And only then starts stimulating yourself. So that she’s right there on the edge and you’re able to reach orgasm relatively quickly.

Do the math.

Work back from the amount of time that you know it takes you to reach orgasm and the amount of time that it’s going to take her to reach orgasm.

Moving forward, you might have to stimulate her for 20-30 even 40 minutes before she reaches orgasm.

Relax

And remember orgasms don’t have to happen at the same time to be great. It’s just like a bonus, It’s just the icing on the cake.

Just like a cherry.

It’s the cherry on the cake that sounds way more sexual.

If you want to go deeper, take a look at,