I Showered for the First & Third Times Since Gender-Affirming Breast Surgery. They Were Two of the Most Profound Experiences of My Life.

And here are details about the surgery. (I got chills while writing this content piece.)

(Note: An experience approaching as powerful happened after my third shower since the surgery as well. I was compelled to say, “You are such a girl.” Out loud.)

I have personally learned that the “gender-affirming” in “gender-affirming surgery” is an accurate adjective.

And it actually might be selling the surgery short a lot of the time.

Top surgery/breast augmentation’s results for me have included two experiences in short time that wasn’t just affirming, but profound.

My experience

I had started showering. I placed my hands over my breasts.

And I was overcome.

And it also compelled me say, out loud, “I’m a girl.”

Though I’ve vocalized my gender before, this occasion, like the others, was an incredible realization of myself internally as I said it.

I then just leaned into the shower corner opposite the shower head, closed my eyes and realized how remarkable I felt. And kissed my breasts a few times. And stayed there for a while.

Quite a while. The shower lasted more than two hours. At least half of it was letting myself feel joy. And process, in the best of ways, my soul being connected with nature as a result of my breasts.

My breast surgery being so affirming is a testament to the connection between the mind, body and soul.

Surgery day

The morning of the surgery, I wanted to kiss Erica, the person who went with me. (We had to arrive at 5:30 a.m. at Southern California Hospital at Hollywood.) However, it wouldn’t have gone anywhere. Because, due to the surgery, she would have lost attraction for me.

The nurse who interacted with me the most told me even before verifying my information that she was excited for me. It rendered her asking me for that info and me giving it to be quite a formality. (And then she complimented my eyes. It was so nice.)

After I gave the anesthesiologist the information he needed, the surgeon entered the room. Shortly before I took the anesthesia, he put his hand on my left shoulder and brought his face close to mine. (I was lying down.) And he told me that we would have a great surgery that morning.

Around that time, lines were drawn on me in preparation for the surgery across the hall.

I believed the surgeon when he said we’d have a great surgery.

And it was, going by the results.

I’d anticipated having breasts for a year and wore breast forms for as long. (I accepted myself a year ago.) Still, you can’t be fully prepared to wake up to your body having real breasts — and nipples that are gigantic compared to before! And that majorly protrude!

And it was something else to wake up from a major surgery to the anesthesiologist and a nurse patting me on my arms and saying it’s all over.

Things weren’t so nice minutes later, when my (now-breast!) area hurt so much. In response, I started saying, out loud, “Pain! Pain! Pain! Pain! Pain!” And many times beyond that.

But I digress. Right after the surgery ended — still influenced by the anesthesia — I said a handful of things, I remember.

• I said in conviction that my parents will never accept me but both my children will. It was something else to feel both tragedy and joy at the same time.
• One of the nurses is an Armenian-American woman. She told me about persecution Armenians have experienced. I had mentioned recently seeing a film (“Aurora’s Sunrise”) about the genocide of innocent Armenians in the World War I era.
• I was feeling like I wanted to say what was on my mind. I thus told her I appreciated her being key to the surgery despite her religious beliefs. She responded by saying she’s glad I’m happy.
• I said I felt like when Han Solo was in a tauntaun, an animal seen in “Star Wars” that Han (Harrison Ford) used for shelter. That was just unintended wacky talk.

And to be able to get rid of something fake after making do with it for a year? (Simply to reduce gender dysphoria?)

That was welcomed.

See the video immediately below for more information about that:

The immediate aftermath

I was in bed most of the first 24 hours after surgery. And the first two days after the surgery, it hurt to sit up.

Greatly. I actually would just lie for 90-plus seconds and mentally prepare myself for the pain.

The night of surgery day, Erica was so sweet and bought me dinner.

And a tube-top dress as a gift.

She said she would be the person who would be there for me in the first 24 hours after the surgery. Still, by zero means did she have to buy me anything. And I didn’t expect it at all.

Her doing those two things were purely out of the goodness of her heart. I appreciate it.

Also, previous to the shower, I put my hands over each of my breasts, closed my eyes in gratitude and got goosebumps.

As my life fans out

I have occasional pain when I have to lift either of my arms to make any part of either above my shoulder. Or when I carried tables twice because I forgot how I can’t do exercise or any strenuous movement for six weeks. Other than that, things have been fine since those initial two days.

The implants were put high to compensate for settling of my breasts. Thus, they are really upstairs right now.

I’ve had random pangs in both breasts. The surgeon’s office said that’s because the post-surgery anesthesia is wearing off.

Stitches for both breasts are underneath my skin. They will dissolve, the office said. I am confident one stitch tore as I had to squeeze between my car and another. It will be OK, the surgeon said in an appointment I scheduled for that matter.

And three women have told me I have more of a woman aura since getting my breasts.

And, four women have asked to see the surgery results. Before then, I’d never been asked to flash anyone. :D

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As I told the surgeon, I sought therapy for gender dysphoria in Jan. 2022 because I felt incomplete without breasts. (My body called for them.)

Thus, surgery day was a good day.

And in these showers, Mother Nature and I communed. Again.

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