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require little added maintenance, the butt can be a different story.</p><p id="e600">I’m clearly not oblivious to the physiological functions of the rectum; anyone who is, or pretends to be, has no business going <i>there</i> in the first place. Feeling comfortable with your partner is also very important in the instance that accidents <i>do</i> happen…which they might.</p><p id="9bf8">Still, I prefer to keep it as squeaky clean as possible. First then, can I really sink in and relax, worry-free. Call me a prude, but my second hard limit, next to <i>no anal on the first date</i> is <i>no scat-play. </i>When I have visitors, I like it neat and will make sure all surfaces are tidy before anyone steps over my doorstep. For the sake of clarity, I’m talking about <i>both</i> my apartment <i>and</i> my butt right now.</p><p id="1666">How does this make anal sex more intimate? Well, to <i>want</i> to put in the extra time, effort, and dedication required, I need to really be into it, and the person I’m inviting along. That in itself makes it extra meaningful.</p><p id="1702"><i>For all the dirty details on how to get sparkly clean, I wrote this <a href="https://readmedium.com/the-secret-to-enjoying-anal-sex-865d573cc116">in-depth article on anal-prep</a>.</i></p><h2 id="39b4">An asshole is just kinda moody</h2><p id="ef78">Some days butt stuff feels fantastic and other days they don’t—at all! This might be true for all sex, to some degree, but it’s especially true for anal. The sphincter is not only sensitive, but temperamental and therefore any kind of tension, stress, and exhaustion can affect its <i>behavior.</i></p><p id="eea4">It’s exceedingly important for me to trust that my lover is both sensitive and understanding of this, and won’t simply soldier on without paying attention. I prefer someone who knows me well enough to tune into my resonance without me having to spell out every damn word.</p><h2 id="0a33">It’s oh-so-intense, which makes me feel oh-so-vulnerable</h2><p id="464b">This is the most defining point for me: When anal sex is <i>really</i> good, I will momentarily transcend my body to hover somewhere above it for an undefinable amount of time. In these spaced-out moments, I have very little control over the movements and sounds I make. With vaginal sex, on the other hand, I still feel (mostly) in charge.</p><p id="5e13">A slight control freak by nature, letting go completely to allow someone a close up of myself in a state of unhinged pleasure is not always easy for me. Is it for most people? This is as raw as it gets, and therefore an unusually tender space for me to allow anyone access to.</p><p id="9085">In <a href="https://readmedium.com/the-ass-master-who-stole-my-heart-a2bd4959642e">a story about the partner who first taught me to really appreciate anal sex</a> I write, “they say that the way to someone’s heart is through the stomach (…) but I’ve recently come wonder if there may also be a way to our hearts through our…rear ends.”</p><p id="b185">I still believe anal sex to be both more emotio

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nally and physically intimate and close than most other things. This is when I feel the most naked, the most open, and as a result the most exposed. It’s also one of the sex acts that have the highest potential for something to go wrong; for it to cause pain, or simply just get embarrassing.</p><p id="8eb9">For the number of posts I see praising anal sex on this site, I see at least as many swearing never to go near it (again), often after having experienced severe physical and mental trauma related to it. So, while I’m excited to see this wonderful act becoming increasingly destigmatized, and more and more people adding it to their sexual repertoire, I can’t help but wish to apply a few words of caution.</p><p id="0677">While opening and sharing our hearts is a beautiful and empowering endeavor—one we should embark on as often and as much as we feel inclined to—we want to take the precautions we can to ensure that we only allow in those who aren’t planning to break it.</p><p id="95f3">If we apply the same logic to anal sex too, we might start to see less of the traumatic horror stories and even more praising the treasured <i>mystery-zone!</i></p><figure id="96b5"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*xKxnwqn_EUaHXW-qvkscVQ.png"><figcaption></figcaption></figure><div id="1dbd" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/sex-with-ena-1aecd927677c"> <div> <div> <h2>Sex With Ena</h2> <div><h3>All of my sexy pieces in one place</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*P6qZqcmqK8vjBMgBXCECcQ.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="08db" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/the-secret-to-enjoying-anal-sex-865d573cc116"> <div> <div> <h2>The Secret to Enjoying Anal Sex</h2> <div><h3>It’s all about preparation</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*XlGiQe9GU0DY7vB_viPzDA.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="875d" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/the-ass-master-who-stole-my-heart-a2bd4959642e"> <div> <div> <h2>An Ass-Master Stole My Heart</h2> <div><h3>A story about anal sex, and my (attempted) polyamorous slave-Master relationship</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*R_bshJEq85c7o4g9-51DjQ.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

Art of Negotiation: Curated in WORK

Should You Go for a Pay Cut When Changing the Job

Tips From Kwame Christian Will Change Your Perception

Image from Canva

We are in an economic downturn. The signs are pretty straightforward. Recession sounds like a new trend. In fact, it is one of the most trending topics. It’s happening to the high profiled employees as well as to low wages; there is no gender or racial differences when recession calls knock on the window.

There is not even one day pass by without thinking about the future of our jobs. We go to bed with the certainty that, Yes, I have a job, and I need to finish my pending tasks.

Well, Blessed are those who are still having regular monthly income;

It’s a regular occurrence on these days that people have to go for a pay cut while still hangs on the same job in the form of Reduced and Staggering working hours, or straight forward pay cut with no additional perks such as bonus, appreciation, performance.

Either way, we are doomed and under mounting pressure to keep our job, to show the company that we are still valuable enough, underlined with a begging line “Please don’t let me go at this point, I served you well all this while.”

With the increased number of jobseekers, every company or Hiring officials have an advantage. The Hiring process may look long and dull due to the number of resumes received to wet through.

Every job seeker believes that Hiring officials are in a good negotiation position; hence a pay cut is inevitable while some believe there is no reason for a pay cut. Here is what Kwame Christian is giving you an insight into the art of negotiation.

1. Research on your Salary Range

Evaluate yourself and understand the market value you have at this moment. Chances are many other people applying for the same position, probably skillful than you. So do your thorough research to get an idea of the salary patterns on the job you are offered.

Also, You should bring yourself to analyze the events of what if’s. What if you don’t get this job? What if Hiring officials ask for a pay cut? What if there are others skilled than you? What if the survival rate if you are not going for this job?

Understanding these bottom lines will put you in a better position to make a choice and a decision. Christian also said that its good to project a longterm insight on the choices you are making now.

Sometimes giving yourself that five-year perspective gives you the distance you need.

2. Try not to project a number on the table early

Setting a number on the table too early is equivalent to driving off your hiring officials from their decision making process. They would just stamp you with a Money-minded person who doesn’t see any value in the job offered.

Christian says that if you are forced to give a number, then provide a range from your research. That’s is why point 1. Research on your Salary Range is an essential step in the negotiation process. Neither here Nor there.

And also, it’s good to avoid disclosing your salary history and other benefits. You might be doing it for a reasonable projection, but it may reciprocate with negative results.

Be Aggressive and Reasonable at the same time.

3. Strategically, Wisefully Customize your wordings

Appreciate on What you have offered but don’t wear off the discussion by using uncertain words. Respond to your hiring officials as if you are happy with their offerings. The bottom line is, maybe you are not, but you don’t have to project it.

This is why point 2. Try not to project a number on the table early, as important as point 1. Research on your Salary Range. The number you are putting on the table should be from legitimate sources.

Bear in mind, hiring people; they owe you nothing that does not mean you are at their mercy. Christian said that it’s essential to show your appreciation but be extremely careful with the next few words you choose.

What they are hearing is you appreciate it, but you don’t appreciate it.

4. Acknowledge the difficult reality

The economic downturn is real, and its a reality. We should not pretend as if nothing is going on, but everything is fine. Instead, acknowledge the truth.

If your hiring officials are giving you a low offer on the table sighting downturn as a reason, then please don’t brush it aside; it’s causing your credibility.

Christian said it’s essential to accept the real concern. Once after you do, you may propose or explain how you can help the company to overcome the current situations.

What we should do is acknowledge that and say it’s a great point and valid point.

5. It’s not all about money but be creative enough

Both you and Hiring officials have reached an exhausted point where you may not be able to negotiate further on the monetary piece. This is the time you should kickstart your creativity and pay attention to other aspects of the work, such as health and employee benefits.

Christain said that its important to address those potential benefits, especially on the flexible work schedules, job title, and continuing education opportunities.

Apart from that, it’s also possible to get into a pre-negotiation stage, The hypothetical metrics, and its curvey points where the company can increase your salary.

Don’t limit your negotiation skills to conversations about your salary, Be more targeted, and use it day-to-day.

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