Catchphrase Challenge

Shoot First

Ask questions later.

While driving down the street, Robert saw three men, each with a knife, threatening a woman. He quickly stopped, got out of his car, pulled out his gun, and pointed it towards the men. “Stop right there!” he shouted.

The men froze, then turned to look at him. Seeing the gun pointed at them, they all dropped their knives. One of the men started to run away, but Robert shouted, “I wouldn’t do that! You need to understand, I’m of the mindset: shoot first, ask questions later.” The man stopped and raised his hands in the air.

“Good, good,” Robert said. He pointed the gun at the first man’s leg and fired. The man cried out in pain as he fell to the ground. The other two men, as well as the woman, stood wide-eyed with shock. “Now, what’s your favorite color?” Robert asked.

“Why did you shoot him?” the third man yelled.

“Shut up!” Robert snapped. “You’ll get your turn.”

Looking back to the first man, Robert said, “Answer the question.”

Clutching his leg and wincing from the pain, the man said, “Blue.”

“Excellent,” Robert said. Then he pointed the gun at the second man’s arm and fired.

The man staggered back a couple of steps, holding his arm. “Why’d you shoot me?! I didn’t do anything!”

“I told you,” Robert said. “I like shooting and then asking questions.”

The third man started to speak, but Robert cut him off. “No! It’s still not your turn.”

Looking back to the second man, Robert asked, “What’s your favorite flavor of milkshake?”

“What…?” the man looked confused.

“Don’t make me ask again!” Robert yelled.

“Strawberry!” the man cried. “It’s strawberry.”

“Ok.” Robert pointed the gun at the third man’s abdomen. The man was crying. “Now it’s your turn.”

“Please don’t shoot,” the man was saying, but Robert fired. The man doubled over and fell to the ground.

“How do you feel about Nickelback?”

Groaning with pain, the man said, “They’re overrated.”

Robert shot him again.

“Why’d you shoot him again?!” the woman asked.

“I never said there weren’t any wrong answers,” Robert replied.

“Thank you for helping me.” the woman said, terrified. “I’m going to just…”

Robert turned the gun toward her and shot her in the leg. She fell to the ground with a yell.

“Now, how do YOU feel about Nickelback?” Robert asked.

“They’re amazing!” she cried.

Robert shot her again. He hated liars.

He took a last look around and, seeing his work was done, got back into his car and drove away with a smile on his face. “Guns are fun.”

Thank you for reading, and thank you Stuart Englander for this challenge. If you’d like to participate, please follow this link:

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