Dreams
Shirley MacLaine’s Beard
Another celebrity encounter
It is hard for me to pass a bookstore without going in. So I went into this bookstore that I had never been in before. It was not long before I was disgusted by how messy the bookstore was. It looked like the shelves had not been straightened in months. And there were stacks of books on the floor!
Like the American flag, books must never touch the ground. That is how weird I am about books and bookstores.
So I wandered around this messy unorganized bookstore hoping some book would pop out at me. At one point while perusing some shelves I turned to my left and there also perusing some shelves was Shirley MacLaine!
Many years ago Shirley used to appear in my dreams quite often. I don’t know why. Yes, I am a big fan of hers but other artists I am a fan of don’t normally show up in my dreams — and certainly not multiple times. It has been many years since she has shown up in a dream. It was great to see her again.
I used to wish that Shirley was my mother. Yeah, I know, that is weird. I always thought that she would have made a much better mother than my real mother. I always thought that I could really open up and talk to her.
Shirley turned her head and looked at me. Oddly, she did not recognize me.
And that is when I spoke without thinking, “Can I help you find something?”
What the hell did I say that for? I did not work in that bookstore and even if I did I’m not sure I could find anything in the disorganized mess. I guess it was just a perfunctory response developed from having spent a couple of decades working in bookstores.
Shirley smiled, “Yes, thank you. I’m looking for _______, by ________.” (I can’t remember the title of the book she wanted.)
So I began frantically searching for that book. To my utter surprise I found it very quickly and handed it to her.
“I’m also looking for _______, by ________.”
So I searched for her other request and, once again, I found it rather quickly. After handing it to her she thanked me then proceeded to the cash register to purchase the books. I still could not believe that she did not even recognize me.
Suddenly I poofed out and was no longer in the bookstore. A minute later I poofed back into the bookstore. Once again I was browsing the shelves.
Before long a bookstore employee came up to me from my right. I could tell it was a bookstore employee because she was wearing a name tag with the bookstore’s logo on it. But guess what?! It was Shirley MacLaine!
Smiling, she asked, “Can I help you find something?”
“Uh… well… uh… yeah. I’m looking for ________. by ________.” (It was the same book that I had found for her.)
Within just a few seconds she had the book and was handing it to me. That is when I looked closely at her face. To my utter disbelief, she was growing a beard! It was not a full beard but just about four or five days worth of beard stubble. WTF?
I wanted to say, “Shirley, that’s not a good look for you,” but I couldn’t say anything. I was too shocked.
Shirley then looked across the bookstore at the front counter, “Excuse me but I’ve got a line at the register.” With this she left for the front counter.
I shook my head and the image of her facial hair evaporated. I then set down the book she had retrieved for me and, for some inexplicable reason, I started to straighten the books on the shelves.
Soon, an unidentified woman came up to me and asked, “Can you help me find a book?”
“Uh… actually I don’t even work here.”
“Then why are you straightening the shelves?”
“Oh… uh… I don’t know. When it comes to books I’ve got this psychopathic obsessive/compulsive thing going…”
The woman looked at me in horror then turned and walked off.
That is when I decided that I needed to get out of that bookstore. As I was leaving I stole a glance at Shirley who was ringing up customers at the cash register. To my further disbelief I saw that her beard had grown out considerably more.
WTF?
Upon awakening I remembered the bizarre dream but, darn it, I wish I could have remembered the titles of those books Shirley wanted. I bet they’re pretty good books.
Copyright by White Feather. All Rights Reserved. Thanks for reading.
Speaking of celebrities in dreams…
