Dreams

The Missing Jacket

And Jerry Seinfeld’s closets

I tore my new apartment upside down looking for my favorite jacket but I could not find it. It was one of those leather flight jackets that Air Force pilots wore. It had a sheepskin lining and was very, very warm. When I wore it I felt like Sam Shepard in The Right Stuff. That jacket was a babe magnet. Women always wanted to touch it.

Then it hit me that perhaps I failed to bring the jacket with me when I moved so I went to my old apartment and knocked on the door. It felt weird to knock because for years I just unlocked the door and went inside.

After a moment the door opened and there stood Jerry Seinfeld. With a smile on his face he asked in a very cordial tone, “Can I help you?”

I explained to Jerry that I was the previous tenant and that I had lost my favorite jacket and felt that I perhaps had left it in my old apartment.

Jerry reached out to shake my hand, “I’ve never met previous tenants of any apartments I’ve ever lived in. What a delight. Please, please come in and look for your jacket.”

Once inside I realized that there were several people in the apartment milling about and talking with each other. I also noticed that the apartment was extremely cluttered and messy. It was obvious that Jerry had little interior decorating skills. The apartment never looked so forlorn when I lived there.

Ignoring all the people I proceeded to rummage through Jerry’s closets. I checked the coat closet, the hall closet, and the linen closet. Then I went into Jerry’s bedroom. On the way to the closet I passed a window and looked out at the nice view of the river park. That was one of the nicest things about that old apartment. I could see that the park was almost completely empty of people.

As I opened the closet to look for the jacket Jerry came into the bedroom, “Did you find your jacket?”

“Not yet but I’m sure it’s gotta be here somewhere.”

Jerry was no longer smiling, “Well, uh, I’m not really comfortable with someone going through my wardrobe.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry about that. But I’m certain the jacket must be here somewhere.” When I finished looking through Jerry’s bedroom closet I remarked, “Well, there is only one more closet in the apartment.” Looking at Jerry’s face I could tell that he was getting pissed off.

I scooted past Jerry and went into the other, smaller bedroom, opening that closet.

Jerry was right behind me, “Listen, maybe I didn’t make myself clear. I said that I don’t like people going through my stuff!”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m almost done.”

“No, you are done! I’m going to have to ask you to leave my home right now!”

Looking at Jerry I could see that he was now downright irate. I got the feeling that he was about to send a fist my way. Taking a quick look over the closet and not seeing the jacket I then raised my hands, “Okay, I’m leaving.”

Jerry escorted me to his front door. As soon as I stepped outside he slammed the door shut behind me.

I left the building and walked two blocks to my new apartment. Perhaps I had overlooked the jacket in my previous inspection. I would look for it in my new apartment again.

I decided to begin the search in the back of the apartment working my way to the front. I went into my bedroom and on the way to the closet I stopped and looked out of the window. I also had a good view of the river park and I suddenly realized it was just as good a view as the one from my old apartment.

The strange thing, though, is that now suddenly the river park was filled with thousands of people for some festival. There was a live band playing on the outdoor stage and people were yelling and singing and dancing and people were playing Frisbee with their dogs. The smell of barbeque and kettle corn wafted in through the opened window.

I quickly forgot all about the jacket and decided to go for a walk down to the river park.

I do not always remember my dreams but I sure remembered this one. After all, Jerry Seinfeld made a guest appearance in it. Boy, he sure got mad as hell at me.

Once awake, the big question in my mind was, why was I looking for that jacket? Yes, it was my favorite jacket of all time but I have not had that jacket in almost fifteen years. When the zipper on the jacket broke it became useless so I threw it out. I have not even thought about that jacket in many years.

So why the hell was I looking for it?

Copyright by White Feather. All Rights Reserved. Thanks for reading.

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