She Cradled the Smoking Gun: Ch 9

Lisa wrestles with regrets but her friend Selena eases the pain

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Lisa trudged up the steps to the second floor and her knees weakened as she turned to the bedroom. The strength she had in holding herself together crumbled and she began crying.

Why?

What could have been done differently?

She ran a hand over the bedspread. How long had it been since she and Paul had slept in the same bed?

Keeping her composure while driving from Santa Barbara to Encino on the morning that the police called was a major feat. But now, her body ached and she needed time to fall apart and space to think. Planning her next moves seemed impossible under the close eye of Detective Stone. What was he thinking?

Clearing out Paul’s things would bring closure, but it seemed too soon and wouldn’t look right getting rid of his things with the investigation going on. Lisa felt dazed and thought she was dreaming when she heard her name called.

“Lisa.”

The voice grew closer. “Lisa.”

Selena.

“Hey, there you are.”

Selena entered the room and sat on the bed, wrapping her arms around Lisa. “I tried calling.”

Lisa checked her purse. “Oh, my phone. It’s on silent.”

“Cleaning things up now?”

“I can’t. I think it’s too soon.”

“Oh, that’s ridiculous.” Selena protested.

“Selena, I just can’t.”

“I’m so sorry. You’re so much more than just a good friend and I hate to see you hurting.” She sighed. “I know everything’s been really tough and nothing’s going to change what happened. I don’t want to be cold, but you need to get your mind off of it. Get a change of scenery. You’re still planning to come up tonight, right?”

“Yeah.”

“We can drive together. My car. Lower your stress. Save on gas.”

“Okay.”

Selena sounded like she was daydreaming. “We should take a vacation. Drive up the coast. Up to Oregon. Seattle. Take a cruise and explore.”

“I’m quite stuck at the moment. And my roses…”

“Have Maria help. Can’t she do some of the gardening?”

Lisa checked her phone and saw an unread text message from Morgan. We need to talk.

About what? Lisa replied.

“Messages?” asked Selena.

“Yes.” Lisa set the phone aside and felt like she couldn’t breathe and needed to get away. She got up off the bed, walked to her closet, and pulled out an old shirt and a pair of worn jeans. “I think I’ll do some gardening,”

“Oh? Need help?” Selena’s designer jeans weren’t meant to kneel in dirt.

“No, I’m fine. Just need to fertilize and water some of the plants.”

“Want to go to lunch?”

“Go ahead. I’m just not in the mood.”

“Of course, you’re not,” said Selena, looking disappointed. “If you don’t mind, I’ll make us a bite to eat here.”

Lisa changed into her old shirt and jeans. “That’s fine. Sorry. I just don’t feel like going out in public.” She wiped her eyes. “Just wondering. There wasn’t ever a specific point that I could say, ‘This is what went wrong with me and Paul.’ It just happened slowly and I don’t know why.”

“That young floozy hanging on his arm all the time didn’t help, did she?” Selena sounded defiant. “Floozy, what a word.”

“No. She didn’t help matters.”

“But who’s to say that she and Paul weren’t soulmates of some type? We often don’t understand why things happen as they do.” Selena moved to Lisa, placed hands on her friend’s shoulders, and spoke softly. “I’m glad for your friendship.”

Lisa closed her eyes. “Thank you.” She wondered what Morgan wanted to talk about.

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