Sex/Relationships
Sexting Might Save My Marriage
The power of a ‘sext text’ was not what I was expecting.
Feeling a sexual disconnection from time to time or even a lot of the time with your partner after many years of being together is totally normal. It happens.
It happens in my own relationship.
Enter sexting.
Yup. Sexting. As a woman in her 40s, it kind of feels silly to write, but in reality, the power of a sext text has proved to be much more potent than I could have ever imagined. In fact, it might just save my marriage!
This is not to say that my husband and I are on the verge of divorce or anything — which we are not. However, we are definitely in danger of languishing in a weird state of sexual stagnation if we’re not careful.
Therefore, I’m opening myself up to fresh forms of sexual communication.
I mean, we’re on our phones so much anyway both for work and for pleasure — so why not use that device to help stimulate some technological foreplay?
The first time I sent a sext text, it felt odd — like it wasn’t really me — it was some sort of imposter trying to be sexy but feeling like a clown.
Maybe this kind of thing comes naturally to some people — but not me. Even though I’m a writer and I frequently write about sex, sending dirty sex messages to my husband wasn’t as easy as I thought.
I’m not sure what kind of racy text messages other people send to their romantic partners but I started with some light flirtation such as telling him he looked handsome when he left for work that morning or that I couldn’t wait to cuddle in bed with him that night.
Moving on to more hard-core sext texting was a definite leap out of my comfort zone.
The next step was texting about more actionable things such as what we would do that night in bed, where I would put my hands or my mouth, what kind of sexy outfit I might wear, and what I wanted him to do to me sexually.
My husband is an extremely verbal person and is totally into this whole sext-texting thing so it’s a win for him. I kind of feel like a prude for waiting so long to get into it. However, as a partner and as a mother, it’s easy to get bogged down with the daily grind of life, kids, and endless chores.
Sext texting certainly isn’t on my priority list when I get up in the morning. There are at least a dozen other things on my mind when I get up, and almost none of them have anything to do with sex.
At the end of the day, on most days, the only text messages that get sent to my husband are, “Can you get some milk on the way home?” or, “When will you be home, the kids are driving me crazy!”
Alas, the time has come to try something different and unfamiliar in order to evolve in my sexual relationship with my husband — no matter how silly it may seem at first.
I’m experimenting. I’m trying to step outside of my sexual box. And I’m patting myself on the back for it.
Sending a sexy text to someone may seem like old news to those who do it all the time, but for us folks who have been together a while, have kids, and forgot how to have fun — it can be a real sex life game-changer.
If it helps create some much-needed sexual friskiness throughout the day which then leads to a more satisfying sexual encounter at night for both myself and my husband, then I will consider that a raging success.
Here’s to trying new things!
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