Health | Allergies

Seven Things I Can’t Do Because I Have a Fatal Nut Allergy

And how I cope

When I was about four, I was at the cinema with my parents, and my mum asked me if I would like an ice-cream or a bag of mixed nuts.

I wanted an ice-cream, but I also wanted to be grown-up, so I asked for the mixed nuts instead.

The nuts weren’t pleasant, they made my mouth itch, but I kept on eating because I was only four, and didn’t know any better.

What happened next is a bit hazy in my memory, but I do remember feeling very unwell. There was a panicked car ride during which I had to get out to pee in a bush by a field.

I was more upset by having to pull my knickers down and bare my little bottom to the public than feeling unwell.

I have no memory of my head being swollen up like a watermelon (my mum’s words) or of the doctor giving me an injection.

Nut allergies, unlike other allergies, are more likely to persist into adulthood.

If I eat a nut or even a tiny portion of a nut, I could go into anaphylactic shock, which can happen very quickly and may end in death.

As a consequence, I carry an EpiPen ,anti-histamines, and Ventolin. If you ever have to use an EpiPen, stick it in the thigh, not the heart like Pulp Fiction.

Anti-histamines are taken first, to fight the symptoms of the allergy, EpiPen next to keep me alive until the anti-histamines kick in, and Ventolin if my airways swell up. Hopefully, by now, someone has called an ambulance.

I have to take these three medicines wherever I go, which has the added annoyance of never being able to buy a small handbag.

Other women may chant, “Key, phone, credit card,” as they skip out the front door with a bag the size of a small notebook, but not me. I have to take my medical kit.

“Why don’t you just avoid nuts then?” In my head, you are asking this in an exasperated tone.

Believe me, I try.

1. See food and eat it

Unlike the old joke, I can’t see food and eat it.

“I’m on a sea food diet. I see food and eat it.”

I have to know if there are nuts, or traces of nuts, in my food.

As my allergy is so severe, not only am I not allowed nuts, but I’m not allowed food that ‘may contain traces of nuts’ or ‘was manufactured in a facility where nuts are present’.

This is a major pain in the neck and means I have to read every food label before I eat something.

Food that may contain nuts

• Chocolate bars
• Biscuits
• Sweets
• Muesli bars
• Cakes
• Crackers
• Ice-cream
• Supermarket desserts
• Prepared sauces such as bolognese sauce, chicken korma.
• Supermarket pizzas
• Spreads and dips
• Some chips/crisps
• Red wine (I actually saw this, but only once)
• Anything from a bakery or caterer

How I cope: I avoid anything packaged and stick to the brands I know. Everyone in the family knows there are no nuts allowed in the house. I read labels and ask questions, or I don’t eat the food.

My label reading sometimes teaches me things. Did you know in some chicken flavored crisps, coffee is a flavoring? Or that ham sometimes has dairy in it? Or that in chili basted chicken, there is no chili, only chili flavor?

Work morning teas & events

At work morning teas, while everyone else is tucking into muffins and savories, I’m sticking to the fruit and brie. Not because I’m healthy, but because most caterers in NZ cannot guarantee that there will be no nuts in their food.

I have learned that not all caterers can be trusted even when they promise nut-free food. As in the case of a wedding catering serving food with nuts after assuring the bride that all food would be nut-free.

How I cope: I pick at the food, and if it is a lunch, I bring my own unless it is from one of the rare caterers who can guarantee my food will be nut-free.

Christmas parties

Christmas parties aren’t too bad if it’s a sit-down meal, but plates of ‘nibbles’ being handed round in a crowded bar is a nightmare. Even if warned, the wait staff tend to hand out the food, willy-nilly.

I’ve spent many a Christmas party waiting to talk to the duty manager about what I can eat.

Sometimes, by the time I find my nut-free food, someone else has eaten it, leaving me nothing to eat.

If you ever see any food marked nut-free, vegetarian, vegan, dairy-free, or gluten-free at an event please, please don’t eat it. There is a hungry person who is looking for it.

I always call ahead. Sometimes they know all about me and have food ready. Half the time, they have never heard of me, can’t find the manager, walk off and leave me, and I give up and go home.

How I cope: I advise the caterers in advance and hope for the best.

Christmas lunch

For a few years, I went to a local hotel for Christmas dinner with my extended family. The food was amazing, and was labeled nut-free, dairy-free, gluten-free, or vegetarian.

It was pricey but worth it.

The last time we went, not only was nothing labeled, but most of the food had nuts in it. I could only eat chicken and two vegetables.

For $200 per head, this was a disgrace. There were no desserts I could eat, so I waited twenty minutes to talk to someone, and another twenty minutes for a special dessert to arrive.

We never went again. My nephew is also allergic to nuts so for two of us, the meal was a disaster. The hotel has lost a regular Christmas party of eleven people.

How I cope: We go to my sister’s house instead.

Entertaining

In New Zealand, there is a tradition called a pot-luck. Everyone brings a plate to share, and everyone dives in. People don’t remember what ingredients they have put into a dish, especially if packets and labels are involved.

Unless I want to stand on the table, select a plate of food, demand who made it, and ask if the cook is 100% certain it doesn’t contain nuts, I can’t eat it.

Even if someone says there are no nuts in the dish, I can’t risk it.

Most people don’t understand where nuts are hiding in the food they make. It does not occur to them that nuts are lurking everywhere. They don’t read labels. That’s OK, they don’t have to. But I do.

How I cope: I take enough food for a full meal with protein, vegetables, and carbs. I only eat food made by my best friends who tell me it is nut-free.

Restaurants

Most restaurants these days are safe, as long as it’s a sit-down place where the chef is still on the premises. I can’t eat at an outlet where the food is brought in, or the staff does not know what the food contains. You be surprised how often this is the case.

If a different server delivers my meal, I double-check. I’ve had several meals whisked away from under my nose because the message did not reach the chef.

How I cope: I explain to the waitperson that I am fatally allergic to nuts and ask them to double-check with the chef that my order, is nut-free.

Contamination

When I identify food I can eat, I have to make sure that it free from contamination by utensils.

For example, I’m homing in on my friend’s guaranteed nut-free apple crumble, when someone else grabs a spoon from a dessert full of nuts, dunks it in the apple crumble, and helps herself to a portion.

It’s now contaminated. Unless this is the first helping, I can’t tell what else has contaminated the dish.

The same with cheeses (cheese knives or other knives), dips (I’ll just dip in this nut cracker), and cakes (I’ll just use this one knife for all the cakes).

How I cope: I keep my eyes open, try to get to the food I know I can eat before everyone else.

I also do a strong line in lectures about food contamination and double-dipping. I once made someone cry by shouting at her, for contaminating a pudding. I blame the wine.

2. Travel anywhere I want

Unlike most people, I can’t go into the wilds of a strange country and eat food without knowing what is in it. Wherever I go, I have to eat in a proper restaurant where the chef who has prepared the food is there.

I remember going to a vegetarian restaurant with friends once in London. The chef had gone home. While everyone else tucked into a delicious meal, I had a buttered baked potato, a cut-up tomato, and cucumber on the side.

I can only go to English speaking countries, where I can make myself understood.

When I go to France, I carry a note with me that says, “I have a fatal food allergy to nuts. Could you please check that the food I have ordered is nut free.”

How I cope: I stick to countries that can speak English to tourists. Not a problem at the moment as we can’t go anywhere anyway!

3. Kiss random strangers

In NZ, most people hug when you greet or say goodbye. After twenty-three years, I’m used to it, but as a stand-offish Brit, I found it very uncomfortable at first.

Now there seems to be a new wave of excitement. Some people I know, not content with hugging and kissing on the cheek, want to kiss on the mouth!

If the other person has been eating nuts this could put me in an unsafe situation.

How I cope: Expert dodging and head swiveling at the last moment!

4. Date without embarrassing conversations

I dated for many years before I met my partner. Though most of my outings were coffee dates, there were occasional dinners and a couple of short relationships.

So let me set the scene. I’m out to dinner with a man that I’ve met a couple of times. I quite like him. If the dinner goes well, there may be a goodnight kiss.

The waiter comes to the table and asks for our order. I do my usual thing, ask the waiter to please ask the chef if there are any nuts in the meal as I have a fatal allergy. My date sits there either oblivious or asks if it is OK if he has nuts too.

If I’m out with just a friend, I say, “You can have nuts as long as you don’t leap across the table and snog me.” With a date, it makes it difficult.

Most people don’t click that my not going near nuts means me not going near a surface (their mouth) that has had nuts on it.

One young woman ended up at A&E because her date ate a peanut butter sandwich earlier in the day.

But wait, there’s more. Once we have got the, “You can’t have nuts if you want to kiss me,” conversation, it gets worse.

Before we were living together, my partner and I saw each other three or four times a week. One lunchtime, he went for a meal to an Asian restaurant and had nuts. The next day we had a date.

It’s a day later, he’d cleaned his teeth several times, what’s the issue?

Nut protein can show up in semen. I’ve read accounts of where a girl had an anaphylactic shock by having sex with her boyfriend.

So another embarrassing conversation. So basically my partner can’t have any nuts ever.

How I cope: Reluctantly, I would have to broach the subject. Thank goodness I now have a boyfriend.

5. Go to posh supermarkets

I suggested that we stopped in at a posh supermarket the other day.

We were on our way to a friend’s house to pick up our food contribution for an afternoon tea.

Everything was smothered in nuts. The bread, the biscuits, the crackers. Big, chunky lumps of raw nuts, everywhere.

There was hardly anything I could buy. I ended up with a big chunk of brie, but couldn’t find any nut-free crackers. I’d hoped to get some cake or biscuits, but no luck, everything contained nuts.

I got quite anxious as I was worried there would be nut dust floating about in the air. I had to wait outside.

How I cope: No more posh supermarkets for me.

6. Randomly Buy Makeup and Body products

Lots of makeup has nut oil in it. Other things that contain nut oil are shampoo, conditioner, body scrubs, hair treatments, soap, body lotion, moisturizing lotion, and lip balm. You name it, there is nut oil in it.

How I cope: I’m back to reading labels. On some cosmetics, the labels are really hard to find, hidden under another label, and very tiny. In that case, if I’m feeling up to it, I ask the salesperson to help. If it’s all a bit too much or I can’t be bothered. I don’t buy it.

7. Have the Covid-19 vaccine

People who have severe allergies cannot have the Covid vaccine. Luckily I am in NZ and feel very safe here.

During a webinar with physicians, CDC officials said patients with a history of severe reactions should take precautions because of two documented cases of anaphylaxis in British health care workers who received the Pfizer/BioNTech vaccine.

How I cope: Stay in NZ and wait until a vaccine comes out that I can have.

A Final Note

If you have a friend with an allergy, please take it seriously. It can be life-threatening. I am very vigilant about what I will eat, so have avoided any issues for years but only because I am so careful.

Also please check labels when buying presents for your allergy ridden friends. I can’t count the number of birthday and Christmas presents I’ve re-gifted because they contained nuts.

I live in hope that a scientist who can edit genes, CRISPR style, will ring me out of the blue.

“We have a cure,” they will say.

It hasn’t happened yet.