Poetry
Self Medicated
Lessons from the Jerk King
*Trigger Warning* Alcohol abuse & childhood trauma
Years and years with fears and tears can get someone with heart that’s clear to give up on all they hold dear, to push away whomever’s near.
Isolated Bifurcated Sp/it in two since way out dated. I can’t take it Armor plated Can’t get in when I am faded.
Medicated by my self with anything in reach,
Take a bottle off the shelf, see what it will teach,
Knowing that I need some help it’s always such a leach
Bringing back the feelings felt and focusing on each
consequence of my mistakes. From this point hence I’ll raise the stakes, drink until I get the shakes, think I will avoid the wakes.
Waking world with slumber mind. Making pearls with what I find. Forsaking fruit for rancid rind ’cause it’s like me, my like and kind.
This medicine I’ve chosen amplifies my worst attributes like that abuse I ran from since the first
experience of trauma; my early memories came back around like when I found a man between her knees, smacked to ground a thwack & pound in between my pleas, that’s the sound that comes around the types of things I see.
I don’t think that it’s working, what I’ve chosen to imbibe,
The fear’s still here it’s lurking, and I’ve pushed away my tribe.
I’ve become the Jerk King ’cause all that I’ve applied
Are lessons of the worst things since I was made alive.
Thank you for reading and/or listening.
If you came away from this reading concerned, fret not, for I am no longer self medicated, I am professionally medicated :-)
As always a special thank you to all the editors at Know Thyself Heal Thyself, especially Diana C. for the publishing space.
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