Self-love is like a selfie!
a celebration of self
💕💞
“In response to DEP Photography prompt — February 2023”.
He loves me, loves me not!
She loves me, loves me not!
You love me, love me not!
I love me, I love myself! ❤
Self-love is like a selfie!
Clicking is all in our own hands.
I love myself, the only love that I have control over (hopefully), like taking a selfie, no second party involved.
He loves me or loves me not, but I love myself!
“Yes, self-love, when the action of loving is in our hands!”
The word ‘myself’, is a reflexive pronoun.
When the subject and the object of the action being done, are both the same person.
Like in a selfie, the action of taking a photo, when the subject who is doing it, is ‘I’, and the object of this same action is also the same person, “me”!
In the following sentences, we can see, how the reflexive pronoun empowers the subject, giving the responsibility to the subject for the result of the action.
For example,
Take care, don’t hurt yourself! (You have to take care of you, yourself)
He ruined his life himself. (Can’t blame anyone else)!
She created this beautiful life, herself. (The credit goes to her, for doing it all just by herself)!
I did it myself. (I take the credit)!
So, when we say, “I love myself!”
We are talking about empowering ourselves. Taking control of our well-being, cherishing ourselves, loving ourselves, and celebrating ourselves, for what we are!
I love me. I love myself!
Now, if we actually think and consider carefully, most of us do love ourselves, the number of selfies people take of themselves, shows it, though, we don’t want to admit it, not even to ourselves, sometimes!
First, because we are not supposed to love ourselves as it means being self-centred, and secondly, we are supposed to ‘love’ others, other than ourselves. Our family, friends, people, humanity, and of course God, we should love them, and not ourselves.
We don’t celebrate ourselves, because, self-love is not considered a good thing, so, instead of loving ourselves, we are happy to tell every man, woman, child, dog, or potplant, that we love them!
In our society, people who indulge in loving themselves, are called selfish, egocentric, or even narcissistic, which means someone who considers themselves most important and lacks empathy for others.
Self-love is none of these, but it is looked down upon.
If you said, “I love my family”! People will applaud your sentiments, but if you happen to say, “I love myself”, you will be considered selfish, and all the above!
We live in a society, where “being self-critical and hard on ourselves” is considered a virtue. It shows that you are humble, down to earth and not too full of yourself!
But sorry, I disagree.
Being too full of ourselves can’t be a problem rather being too full of others can be!
So why do we always feel a bit guilty, admitting that we like or even dare to love ourselves?
And there is hardly any chance of celebrating who we are, what we are!
Rather we are happy to admit our flaws, where we made a mistake, what we did wrong, celebrating our weaknesses, and all the issues that we have.
As Dr. Preeti Singh in her fantastic post on self-love said, the achievements she had in her life, in her career, and how good as a mother, and a wife she was, were all inspirational, and she knew, she was right, and was proud of herself.
However, for many younger women around her, in her family, she was not considered an appropriate role model.
Why, because she enjoyed being who she was and because she always spoke up her mind, because instead of taking a back seat, she took her independence naturally.
Loving oneself brings love for others!
Dr. Preeti Singh says, she also had to learn to love herself, admire her own achievements, and enjoy her own success in life, without feeling guilty or being apologetic about anything.
Once, she learned to love herself, she could then love others openly, and support them.
Being aware of and using this ability to love ourselves, can be a big asset for our own self-development.
It brings self-confidence to us, which can lead to positivity.
It means less self-criticism, a positive mind, positive attitude towards others and those around us.
I can’t say that I always loved myself and felt good about it.
I have also been there, where I was not a loved one myself.
Self-love, because I am worth it!
I consider self-love to be an umbrella term for so many things that one needs to nurture oneself.
Self-care is one of them. Taking care of one’s health, both physical and mental well-being, eating healthy, taking medicine, and going to the doctor when needed are the things that show we care for ourselves.
A few years ago, I had cancer, yes, the dreaded ‘C’ word came twice in my life, but I took my own well-being into my hands. I realized, that:
“I’m too precious to be left to the care of others”.
I became my lover, tending to my own needs, and taking care of my health, both physical and mental, I also had some great friends and my immediate family, but I took the main responsibility to be well, and to be strong!
I made a turnaround, and today, I’m much healthier and fit than I have ever been.
When I see people doing exercise, going for a jog, going to the gym, and exercising and enjoying themselves at the swimming pool, I am very happy, almost proud of them. Yes, they ‘love’ themselves enough to care!
Self-love also means we love our own company.
People who get bored easily, show their lack of self-esteem, and are actually, quite boring.
If we don’t love our own company and are bored when it is just us, how can we expect someone else to enjoy our company?
Hence, taking hobbies, playing sports, as well as taking care of one’s appearance, how we dress, and how we use makeup, to enhance our looks, are all ways to love ourselves.
Self-love in this way is a way to self-fulfillment.
Self-love is a celebration of oneself!
And yes, I do that each day. I know where I lack something, but instead of berating myself for my failures, I aim to look at and be happy about what I have, what I can do, and have achieved.
I’m honest, and frank in expressing my feelings, but I am generous and sensitive to others’ needs. In any of my dealings, those around me know that I am not at all selfish, or self-centered.
I celebrate my success and achievements in my academic career, and my social life, especially, being in a country that was not my home, where I had to reinvent myself, and carve a place for myself, similarly, in my family and personal relations, and in my friend circle, both in India, and Australia, and even for those people that I meet by chance, I am the star that shines bright, bringing positivity because I have this warm feeling within me.
That, yes, I’m worth it, yes, I’m proud of who I am, and I’m me!
Here is a song that I relate to when I think of loving myself.
Breaking the bandhans of society I’m going to do what I want to do, that is what I enjoy, and love to do because I am worth it (of course, not by hurting others),
*Reflexive means an automatic action that is carried out without thinking, or the action of something that goes back to where it had started.
This post is in response to Vidya Sury, Collecting Smiles’ prompt for February.
Celebrating YOU Yes, YOU.
Vidya Sury, Collecting Smiles, thanks for this inspirational prompt.
I thank all the editors of this great publication, which was founded on the mission of bringing, and celebrating positivity all around!
This is my first time here, as I have not written for the DEP so far, though, have been tagged many times to write something.
Here is Dr. Preeti Singh’s inspirational post on self-love.