Self-Limiting Beliefs

Know Thyself!

Do you want more freedom in your life? Get to know yourself. The better you know yourself, the more you can appreciate your accomplishments. Imagine silencing the one who works against you, your inner critic! Your life will become far more enjoyable once you start questioning and silencing this critical inner voice.

To follow up on my last article, let’s think about changing self-limiting beliefs into opportunities. First, you need to uncover the self-limiting belief. Then you must give it some real thought to understand it, examining as many perspectives as you can, even enlisting others in the process to help. Once you have done this, you can undertake actions on the decisions and choices that support what you truly desire. This will change the outcome you receive in the future and can put your life on a completely new trajectory!

Remember, self-limiting beliefs come from inside your mind, a part of you that is likely fearful and trying to protect you. For me, the fear of public speaking began when I was just a child.

I well remember when I was in the second grade, how I tripped and almost fell onstage during a school play. It was bad enough that I was already uncomfortable being in front of so many people.

As I recalled the incident, I remembered how embarrassed I was. I remember the feeling of how all those people in the audience, including my own family, were thinking I was a clumsy loser.

Could a voice from when I was seven still influence me into my twenties like that? You bet. Yet that voice was only trying to keep me from further embarrassment. It was using fear to protect me from ever feeling like a klutz again.

As I advanced in my career, I was put on the spot more and more often to speak. Eventually, I attended a Dale Carnegie course on public speaking and started to read more about the subject to help me overcome my fear. After some time I was able to control this voice in my head. Once I learned to speak in front of groups with authority, I made great strides in my career.

Is this critical voice gone? Nope. It’s still there. Yet I see it so differently now. Whenever I get nervous, as I prepare to speak to an audience, that seven-year-old part of me still wants to protect me from looking like a fool, from failing. But I now have another part of me that tells me I can do it. I have done it and have been successful at it many times.

This more mature part of myself tells me I’m going to do a great job. I believe it, and it happens.

Even if things don’t go perfectly, I have another voice inside that tells me it is okay. I am allowed to make some mistakes. I believe others want me to be successful and not fail. I’m encouraged no matter what happens and can even laugh at myself.

Another real-life incident happened when I was around thirty years old and had taken a job that conflicted with several of my personal values and beliefs. The job paid well, but the stress I was under felt unbearable. I stayed far too long because of the self-talk going on inside my head. The conflict between what I wanted and what I needed was just too great. After a year and a half, out of desperation, I resigned.

There I was with my small family, jobless, a thousand miles from my home state. I started looking for more work, and for a week nothing appeared.

This self-imposed limitation — worrying about the uncertainty of being able to find another job — came from my fear of not being able to take care of my family. I was a responsible person, after all.

Yet I hadn’t been noticing what my reactions to the pressures were doing to my relationship with my wife. I missed the fact that she was fully in favor of me leaving the position. She had more faith than I did that we would be okay.

Fear is a harsh taskmaster.

I had failed to realize I did a great job for the company, and that I was very capable. I didn’t realize there were plenty of other opportunities out there. I was so paralyzed with concern and fear, I could not see myself or my situation clearly.

After a short time of unemployment, a different part of me woke up. I realized I had risen through the ranks because others believed I had strong skills and capabilities. I started to shift my thinking, to believe I could do what I set my mind to. I had already proven that in my life.

Within the following week I had a job that not only improved my future opportunities, but also paid better, and presented me with greater opportunities for growth!

I recommend reading my last article titled Your Worst Enemy, and do the sentence completion exercise to identify some of the self-limiting beliefs you have. I promise you will not regret getting to know yourself better!

©2020 BillAbbate.com

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