Self-Improvement Improved My Love Life
When you start focusing inwards, you often see improvement in all aspects of life.
I’ve been dating since middle school, and after many failed relationships, I’ve met the person I know is meant for me. Not only that, but I can confidently say this has been the healthiest and happiest relationship I’ve ever experienced.
This wouldn’t have happened had it not been for the dating hiatus I took before meeting my partner, and it also wouldn’t be happening had I not been investing in myself for the last 4 years.
Here are a few ways self-improvement has changed my overall love life, and maybe it’ll inspire you to start investing in yourself.
Self-improvement opens your eyes to what you’re capable of.
How can you know what you’re truly capable of if you’re not on a mission to grow and get better?
I grew up with little to no knowledge as to what self-improvement was. In fact, I didn’t even hear the phrase until I was in college. I thought I was stuck with the qualities and attributes I was born with. There was no opportunity to change or get better. And why would I even want to? I was just as good/smart as the people around me.
The moment I decided to step away from the herd is when I started seeing real possibilities.
I dropped out of college and signed up for a 12-month long tech program. 6 months of tedious training and 6 months of being an underpaid intern. I knew nothing about tech, but I wanted to challenge myself. While my friends were getting the college experience, having fun, and meeting guys, I was working 2–3 jobs at a time and studying SQL.
This led me to get an opportunity to work at Yahoo, which opened the door for many other work opportunities, including remote ones.
Being able to work remotely got me to start thinking, “what if I moved? Is it possible? Could I do this by myself?” I saved up my money and moved to Los Angeles with zero help from anyone.
This move was a huge stepping stone for me. Everybody in my family has essentially lived in the same area their whole life; I was the one who got out. I grew up daydreaming of what it would be like to live a different life than the one I had, but I never truly believed in myself, nor did I think I was capable.
While I haven’t achieved all of my goals yet, I’m a whole lot closer now than I was before. I live by the beach, I have relationships that will last me a lifetime, and I’m doing what I love every day.
My self-esteem was beyond low before getting into self-improvement.
I settled a lot throughout the course of my life. Luckily I figured this out pretty early on, but there are several relationships I settled for and jobs I took out of fear of not finding something better.
I had so little confidence in myself that I would never look people in the eyes. I never fought for more; I simply settled for what was offered.
A lack of attention or love from partners? That’s ok. Less pay than a coworker even though we do the same thing? Alright. I let people walk all over me because I never understood my value.
You never truly understand how worthy and valuable you are until you look at yourself and make a conscious effort to raise the bar.
Little by little, as you tick your goals off, embrace challenges, go through failures with your head held high, you see just how worthy you truly are, and it becomes even more apparent to others.
I have no doubt in my mind that had I stayed the same insecure and frail little girl I used to be, I wouldn’t be living my dream life with my dream guy.
Developing a healthy sense of self-confidence will ultimately boost your love life because let’s face it, nothing is sexier than a self-assured person.
You attract what you are, which is why every person I dated before my current relationship was insecure, unambitious, and content with mediocrity.
The more you work on yourself and invest in yourself, the more confidence you gain. At that point, you don’t settle for anything less than you truly deserve within your career or your love life.
It teaches you how to be a better human being.
While self-improvement is all about improving yourself, it also teaches you the value of helping others.
My career is built on inspiring others and helping them in their relationships. Every time I sit down to write or create content, my initial thought is,
“How can I be of value right now? What can I do? What can I share? What can I create?”
My relationship with my mom has significantly changed over the years because of my investment in changing myself for the better. My friend group has gotten a lot smaller, but the upside is that I’ve been able to create deeper connections with the people I do have in my life because of this.
I’ve learned how to become a better girlfriend by investing in myself and working on my strengths and weaknesses.
Whenever people ask me for advice regarding their love life, I always ask them how they feel about themselves.
- Do you feel good about who you are?
- Do you have goals and aspirations?
- Are you happy with the kind of individual you are? Do you feel like you’re where you’re meant to be?
- Will a relationship enhance you? Or will it take away from you reaching your fullest potential?
It’s imperative to first have a healthy and loving relationship with yourself before bringing another human being into the mix. This is why my dating hiatus was the best thing I ever did for myself.
It allowed me to take a step back and reassess who I am and who I want to become, what I have to offer and what I will bring to the table. There’s a special type of comfort when you know your worth and how capable you are.
Whether you’re dating or single, ask yourself the questions mentioned above; perhaps there are a few things you can start working on within yourself.
When you start focusing inwards, you often see improvement in all aspects of life.