Self-Centered

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Abstract

I surmise that you are thinking the same and wonder aloud and with intention whether I deserve you That’s when I get self-centered, not in the way you think, but so focused on hating myself because you questioned what I deserve that I can’t get back to a grin Lost in a downward spiral of self-annihilation and despair</p><p id="8356">I consider myself selfless but maybe it’s because I want to be myself, less and you aren’t helping Because I am never as self-centered as when I am with you and that’s how you like me Dependent on your approval But the truth is, I never was I was just passing time to get away from myself but now I’ve realized that I don’t need you I don’t need this And you call this perfect choice of mine Self-centered But it’s the least of my Ego because I only focus on myself when I am in pain and your singular presence has caused me enough pain</p><p id="5c1f">As I walk away I can see you are confused about how someone could make such a bad decision to leave you, standing in the park but it’s the best d

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ecision I’ve made because the act of choosing myself is the least self-centered thing I’ve ever done</p><p id="1272">This poem was inspired by this quote from <i>Awareness: The Perils and Opportunities of Reality</i> by Anthony de Mello</p><p id="86eb" type="7">“You’re never so full of yourself as when you’re in pain. You’re never so centered on yourself as when you’re depressed.”</p><p id="9a67">© <a href="undefined">Jonathan Greene</a> 2019</p><p id="5cef">If you liked this, you might like this as well:</p><div id="16d0" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/peel-me-back-108445035451"> <div> <div> <h2>Peel Me Back</h2> <div><h3>A Poem</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*9dnk9JUv43HWZIPo)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

A Poem

Take a picture of me I won’t like what I see but what I see and what you see will never be the same thing You see what you think I am and I see me, uncolored by the happy brushes of the world or by your perception of what you want me to be when I don’t want to be your anything I just want to be whatever pile of atoms I was meant to be A chameleon of Self without a prescription

The funny thing is though that when I am happy I don’t think of Self because I am too busy being it and enjoying the trappings of life I usually deny myself for no good reason other than I question if I deserve them and I surmise that you are thinking the same and wonder aloud and with intention whether I deserve you That’s when I get self-centered, not in the way you think, but so focused on hating myself because you questioned what I deserve that I can’t get back to a grin Lost in a downward spiral of self-annihilation and despair

I consider myself selfless but maybe it’s because I want to be myself, less and you aren’t helping Because I am never as self-centered as when I am with you and that’s how you like me Dependent on your approval But the truth is, I never was I was just passing time to get away from myself but now I’ve realized that I don’t need you I don’t need this And you call this perfect choice of mine Self-centered But it’s the least of my Ego because I only focus on myself when I am in pain and your singular presence has caused me enough pain

As I walk away I can see you are confused about how someone could make such a bad decision to leave you, standing in the park but it’s the best decision I’ve made because the act of choosing myself is the least self-centered thing I’ve ever done

This poem was inspired by this quote from Awareness: The Perils and Opportunities of Reality by Anthony de Mello

“You’re never so full of yourself as when you’re in pain. You’re never so centered on yourself as when you’re depressed.”

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