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are impressed with those celebrities, gear up. Fast14 features:</p><ul><li>Post Malone — musician | face-tattoo evangelist</li><li>Barrack Obama — former president</li><li>Weird Al Yankovic — parody songwriter | creator of the best rap song ever made, “Amish Paradise.”</li><li>The ghost of Alex Trebek — gameshow host | ghost</li><li>Lil’ Sebastian — celebrity horse</li></ul><figure id="312b"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/0*SLOSkp61EcaiQ-rE"><figcaption>Lil’ Sebastian’s stunt double — Percy. Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@epartner?utm_source=medium&amp;utm_medium=referral">Donald Teel</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com?utm_source=medium&amp;utm_medium=referral">Unsplash</a></figcaption></figure><h1 id="7762">Like Gremlins in Water</h1><p id="1093">Uber-fans of FF know there are only nine films to date, with Fast X set to release in 2023. ³</p><p id="b0ce">We asked PR representative Estancia Marquez why the studio chose to skip past Fast and the Furious 11, 12, and 13. Here was her response.</p><p id="7a39" type="7">We honestly couldn’t remember how many of these blockbuckets we’ve made so far. So we decided to name it after the current model of iPhone.</p><p id="3a7e">Fast14ProMax, we mean, Fast14, appears in theaters on December 25.</p><h1 id="25e3">Footnotes</h1><p id="5674">¹ <a href="https://screenrant.com/top-gun-maverick-budget-box-office-success/">https://screenrant.com/top-gun-maverick-budget-box-office-success/</a></p><p id="7877">² <a href="https://www.insider.com/fast-and-furious-surprising-celebrity-cameos-cardi-b-chrissy-teigen-2021-6#rita-ora-and-iggy-azalea-fast-and-furious-6-and-furious-7-6">https://www.insider.com/fast-and-furious-surprising-celebrity-cameos-cardi-b-chrissy-teigen-2021-6#rita-ora-and-iggy-azalea-fast-and-furious-6-and-furious-7-6</a></p><p id="d919">³ <a href="https://www.imdb.com/list/ls068935667/">https://www.imdb.com/list/ls068935667/</a></p><p id="5eff">For some other <a href="https://medium.com/muddyum">MuddyUm</a> fun, try these.</p><div id="819f" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/egads-cookburger-got-my-order-wrong-again-e1483dcf93c5"> <div> <div> <h2>Egads! CookBurger Got My Order Wrong Again</h2> <div><h3>And other mayonnaise-related war crimes.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*dFhWEKzauYqGAg5Y)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="128b" class="link-block"> <a href="https://r

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Jets, Jets, Jets

Screenplay Leaked— Fast and the Furious 14 ✈

Captain Vin Diesel doesn’t care if your tray table is up

Movie Poster for Fast and the Furious 14. Created by Author in Canva Pro

Due to the substantial success of Top Gun: Maverick, studio execs are moving the Fast and the Furious Franchise into new skies. Literally.

Fast14 will feature Vin Diesel drag racing in Boeing 747 commercial jets. Co-starring in the film is an intern that sort of looks like Paul Walker.

Why passenger planes?

Breaking News

According to an anonymous source, the studio’s attempts to broker a deal with the US military to use fighter jets met with significant pushback.

Our last Air Force promotional video cost the taxpayers 152 million dollars. People might ask questions if we spent so much money on marketing again. ¹

-Quote by Lt. Colonel Rodrick K. Masterson, on the condition his name wasn’t revealed in this story.

Lt. Colonel Masterson poses for a picture as our anonymous source. Photo by Teguh Sugi from Pexels. Edits by Author in Canva Pro.

Lots o Buttons

Fans of the franchise will appreciate the number of buttons, levers, and blinking lights inside the cockpit.

Screenwriter Deepak Lipstki told us —

“The earliest Fast and the Furious movies were 120 minutes of Paul Walker’s face, rest in peace, with dozens of close-ups of shifting gears. Seriously, how many times can you move the plot forward with a dramatic close-up of gear shifting?

With a cockpit there are thousands of knobs to play with. I don’t know why we didn’t think of this sooner.”

Cameos a plenty

Previous Fast and the Furious films included all-star cameo appearances by:

  • Cardi B — musician ²
  • Kevin Hart — comedian | short guy
  • Ronda Rousey — UFC fighter
  • Chrissy Teigen — We’re not sure who this is
  • Ja Rule — hip hop artist
  • Helen Mirren — actress | creepy elf in LOTR

If you are impressed with those celebrities, gear up. Fast14 features:

  • Post Malone — musician | face-tattoo evangelist
  • Barrack Obama — former president
  • Weird Al Yankovic — parody songwriter | creator of the best rap song ever made, “Amish Paradise.”
  • The ghost of Alex Trebek — gameshow host | ghost
  • Lil’ Sebastian — celebrity horse
Lil’ Sebastian’s stunt double — Percy. Photo by Donald Teel on Unsplash

Like Gremlins in Water

Uber-fans of FF know there are only nine films to date, with Fast X set to release in 2023. ³

We asked PR representative Estancia Marquez why the studio chose to skip past Fast and the Furious 11, 12, and 13. Here was her response.

We honestly couldn’t remember how many of these blockbuckets we’ve made so far. So we decided to name it after the current model of iPhone.

Fast14ProMax, we mean, Fast14, appears in theaters on December 25.

Footnotes

¹ https://screenrant.com/top-gun-maverick-budget-box-office-success/

² https://www.insider.com/fast-and-furious-surprising-celebrity-cameos-cardi-b-chrissy-teigen-2021-6#rita-ora-and-iggy-azalea-fast-and-furious-6-and-furious-7-6

³ https://www.imdb.com/list/ls068935667/

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Brand art courtesy of David Todd McCarty
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