#Here I Go Whoring Myself Out Again

Scrabble My Medium

I’m only doing this because Smillew promised me that he would pay £100 for someone who uses the tag “Erotica” to give me a blowjob. First cum, first served. (Triple score sorted)

I’m shit at poetry but if it rhymes it’s poetry, as far as I’m concerned. So I’m going to do a few football chants with bits changed for comedic effect and give me more points. (Double score secured)

Hackney Ripper (to the tune of, London Bridge Is Falling Down)

Hackney Ripper is our friend, is our friend, is our friend Hackney Ripper is our friend, He kills Hackneys

Oh, I Do Like To Be Beside The Seaside (To the tune of, Oh, I Do Like To Be Beside The Seaside)

Oh I Do Like To Be Beside The Seaside Oh I Do Like To Be Beside The Sea With a spanner in me hand Bashing Hackneys in the sand Beside The Seaside Beside The Sea

He’s Got A Keyboard On His Knee (To the tune of, He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands)

He’s Got A Keyboard On His Knee He’s Got A Keyboard On His Knee He’s Got A Keyboard On His Knee

Another shit post from Hackney

Who’s Your Father (To the tune of, My Darling Clementine)

Who’s Your Father? Who’s Your Father? Who’s Your Father Hackney?

You ain’t got one You’re a bastard

You’re a bastard Hackney

Grimsby Hackney Fucks His Mother (To the tune of Men Of Harlech)

Grimsby Hackney Fucks His Mother Grimsby Hackney Fucks His Brother

All the Hackneys fuck each other In the fucking arse.

You’re A Cunt To Me (To the tune of Que Sera Sera)

When I was just a little boy I asked my mother what could I be Should I write Satire Should I write jokes Here’s what she said to me

You’re a cunt to me

Embarrassed the family Get out of my property

You’re a cunt, you see.

Right, that’s Grimsby Hackney made fun of. (242 points)

I want to hear in the comments how many of you actually sang to the tunes as you read them.

Cheers.