Saying Yes to Everyone is Ruining Your Life

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Abstract

so as not to let the other person down. If I treated someone else the same way, that would be called abuse…</p><p id="0283">I also found that no matter how much I agreed and went along with, I didn’t feel any better about myself. If anything, amid a vague sense of resentment that I was hiding from, I just felt fake. But I hid from that too.</p><h2 id="cd68">Before saying yes, ask yourself why</h2><p id="2482">One day, I heard Oprah Winfrey talking about how reading Gary Zukav’s chapter on intention from his book, Seat of the Soul, changed her life. From then on, instead of saying yes to everyone’s requests, she would ask herself, “what is my intention?” It helped her understand her actual feelings on the issue and only then would she respond. And that meant, at times, learning to say (a self-loving) no to others.</p><p id="8aee">It’s about detaching from the fear of what others will think of you and acting from a place of congruence. In other words, allowing the true you to speak so that you can have genuinely honest relationships.</p><p id="1c52">As a start, ask yourself, what am I saying no to when I say yes?</p><p id="43c8"><i>Thank you for reading

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this article. If you enjoyed it and would like to read more motivational writing with a focus on self acceptance and becoming more visible, then… follow me on Medium <a href="https://medium.com/@iPimm">here</a>, subscribe to Medium <a href="https://medium.com/@iPimm/membership">here</a> or feel free to buy me a coffee <a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/pimmipandec">here</a>. Grateful for you!</i></p><p id="5bf4">If you’d like to read more helpful writing on overcoming people pleasing, please check out my other article below:</p><div id="4e14" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/i-hate-to-break-it-to-you-but-not-everyone-likes-you-483d39f7762c"> <div> <div> <h2>I Hate to Break it to You, but not Everyone Likes You</h2> <div><h3>Getting over the desire to be liked.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*r_fexhz7faEz6ddJ)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

Day 13/100

It took me decades to understand that saying yes to everyone did not make me a better friend, but it certainly brought me bad friends.

So today I am celebrating this awareness that came about when, one day, I realised that saying yes all the time meant I was saying no to other things.

Most notably, I was saying no to me. I was ignoring my feelings, which would sometimes be silently screaming NO. I would undermine them and guilt trip myself into being an agreeable person, so as not to let the other person down. If I treated someone else the same way, that would be called abuse…

I also found that no matter how much I agreed and went along with, I didn’t feel any better about myself. If anything, amid a vague sense of resentment that I was hiding from, I just felt fake. But I hid from that too.

Before saying yes, ask yourself why

One day, I heard Oprah Winfrey talking about how reading Gary Zukav’s chapter on intention from his book, Seat of the Soul, changed her life. From then on, instead of saying yes to everyone’s requests, she would ask herself, “what is my intention?” It helped her understand her actual feelings on the issue and only then would she respond. And that meant, at times, learning to say (a self-loving) no to others.

It’s about detaching from the fear of what others will think of you and acting from a place of congruence. In other words, allowing the true you to speak so that you can have genuinely honest relationships.

As a start, ask yourself, what am I saying no to when I say yes?

Thank you for reading this article. If you enjoyed it and would like to read more motivational writing with a focus on self acceptance and becoming more visible, then… follow me on Medium here, subscribe to Medium here or feel free to buy me a coffee here. Grateful for you!

If you’d like to read more helpful writing on overcoming people pleasing, please check out my other article below:

Saying Yes to Everyone is Ruining Your Life

How to get free of people pleasing.

Day 13/100

Before saying yes, ask yourself why

I Hate to Break it to You, but not Everyone Likes You

Getting over the desire to be liked.