avatarWendy Scott

Summary

Romance scammers deceived individuals out of over $200 million in 2019, prompting the need for vigilance and awareness on dating sites and social media.

Abstract

The article underscores the significant financial impact of romance scams, which saw a 40% increase in 2019, with victims losing over $200 million. It highlights common tactics used by scammers, such as creating compelling profiles, sending flattering messages, and fabricating emergencies to solicit money from unsuspecting individuals seeking love online. The piece advises on recognizing red flags, such as poor grammar, requests to move communication off the dating platform, and stories designed to elicit urgent financial assistance. It also warns of blackmail attempts through intimate photos or videos. The author emphasizes the importance of staying on the dating site for communication, blocking and reporting suspected scammers, and not engaging with them in an attempt to expose their deceit.

Opinions

  • The author believes that scammers are easy to spot if one is aware of the signs, such as messages that feel off, are overly flattering, or contain poor grammar.
  • Scammers are seen as part of a criminal operation, not as genuine potential partners, and they often use stolen photos and fabricated stories.
  • The article suggests that scammers target demographics rather than individuals, casting a wide net in hopes of finding vulnerable victims.
  • There is a notion that scammers may use bots for initial contact and that they are not invested in the profiles they create, often copying and pasting information.
  • The author implies that emotional manipulation is a key strategy used by scammers to extract money from their targets, often preying on loneliness or naivety.
  • The piece advises against sending money to someone met online, regardless of the story's urgency or emotional appeal.
  • The author humorously notes some scammers' ineptitude, such as sending messages with appalling grammar or in the wrong language, but still warns against engaging with them.

Dating | Love | Scammers | Safety

Romance Scammers Made Over $200 Million in 2019

How to make sure they don’t get their hands on your money

Photo by ian dooley on Unsplash

I belonged to several online dating sites before I met my partner. I had never heard of internet dating scams or how they worked.

I did think that some of the messages I received were quite odd. Some of the profiles seemed off, but I didn’t know why.

When I first went online, I was too scared to reply to any messages. Once I became more confident and had been online for a while, I worked out that the odd messages were from scammers.

My most memorable scammer message said, “You are the most beautiful woman in the world. So beautiful that even if you were my mother, I would still want to go to bed with you.”

According to Federal Trade Commission Data, in 2019, romance scammers tricked people out of $200 million. This figure is up 40% from 2018.

People using dating sites, Facebook, Instagram, and other social networking sites, are ripe targets for scammers.

Scammers cast their net wide, hoping to lure in lonely or naive people who are not tech-savvy enough to know what is happening.

How to spot a scammer

Messages from a scammer are easy to spot if you know what you are doing.

Some are more obvious than others.

The messages will:

  • Feel wrong. It will be different from the sort of messages you usually get.
  • Be lengthy and flowery with extravagant claims, such as saying you are their soul mate.
  • Say you are the most beautiful woman in the world.
  • Have poor grammar. The writing style of the messages may not match the profile style.
  • Look like the person who wrote it does not speak English and is maybe working from a translation tool.

The scammer’s profile will either be quite sketchy or read too well. Scammers don’t bother to write their profiles. They cut and paste from genuine profiles. You can copy the profile text and do a google search to see if it appears multiple times online.

The scammer will present as younger, sexier, and more attractive than the target. You can search the profile photos on the internet as scammers will use pictures of models, people in advertisements, or real people.

They will appear to be within your location initially, but then it will turn out the scammer lives overseas. For example, they will say they have a prestigious job and travel for work, are in the armed forces, are visiting relatives, or work on a remote location such as an oil rig.

If you respond to the initial message, the scammer will try to get you off the dating site and onto email as quickly as possible before the dating site removes them.

Scammers will have a compelling reason to convince you to communicate by email. They will say they are about to leave the site, their membership is up, and they are not renewing.

Don’t be taken in. Firmly state that you will only communicate on the dating site.

Scammers want your money

Scammers will go to great lengths to part you from your money. Typically, they will attempt to gain your trust by sending multiple messages a day and presenting themselves as a viable prospective partner.

They may send you small gifts or borrow a small amount of money and immediately pay it back. This behavior establishes the scammer as trustworthy.

However, the scam surfaces later, sometimes after months, and will be for a substantial sum of money.

The scam is designed to promote urgency. They do not want you to have time to consult friends or relatives. Scams are constructed to play on your emotions.

For example, the scammer:

  • Is stranded in a foreign country, they were robbed and needed a ticket home.
  • Needs a replacement passport or visa because they have either lost their documentation or were robbed.
  • Wants to visit you but does not have money for their airfare. There will be a valid reason why the scammer can’t afford an airline ticket’s price, such as their money is tied up in a business deal.
  • Needs money for their little daughter to have life-saving surgery.
  • Has to have an operation.
  • Needs to finalize arrangements so they can come and marry you — for example, local debts to be paid off or a visa fee is due.

You will be asked to send the money quickly. Please don’t do it.

Blackmail

Another trick in the scammer’s toolbox is to encourage the exchange of intimate photos.

The scammer will then commence a blackmail campaign to threaten to publish your pictures on the internet.

Alternatively, a scammer may arrange a Zoom call with you. The webcam at their end will mysteriously break at the last minute, but you will be encouraged to take off your clothes or perform sexual acts in front of the camera.

The scammer will reveal themselves, tell you they now have a recording of the call, and blackmail you.

If you send money, they will continue to ask for more.

What to do if you think you’ve been contacted by a scammer

Scammers will contact as many people as they can before they get blocked by the dating site.

They have given no thought to your profile and are likely to be part of a criminal gang targeting a demographic.

Imagine a man in an office pasting messages into the profiles of women over fifty. It may even be a bot sending the initial message.

Scammers are not prospective partners, and they haven’t read your profile. They are part of an illegal operation, hoping to trick you out of your money.

Don’t be lured into tricking them into admitting they are scammers; it may be you who gets tricked in the end.

If you spot a scammer, block them immediately and report them to the dating site.

Final thoughts

I’ve had some hilarious messages from scammers with such appalling grammar I wanted to message back and tell them how to scam correctly.

Once, I got a message that wasn’t even in English; they had forgotten to translate it.

So please, look out for dodgy messages, and block them immediately.

Spend your time talking to real people.

Good luck!

Dating Advice
Singles
Online Dating
Online Dating Tips
Online Safety
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