The New Normals Chapter 11

“Something about those birds overhead felt almost final for a second.”

“Agreed mate, poetic almost.”

Kit, Roland, Joshua and the three costumed men now found themselves soaking wet and crammed atop an enormous billboard for Corona light. The struggle to get there had admittedly been a trying one and what had happened to the other three remained unclear. Elliot didn’t strike Roland as a terribly strong swimmer. Neither Kit nor Roland had high hopes that Molly and Matthew had survived the building’s collapse. For the men in costume, it turned out that being dressed as aquatic animals did little to help them through the water. But their struggle was oddly graceful, Roland was quick to comment.

“These things are surprisingly roomy,” Kit announced. In the time since his arrival in Las Vegas, Kit had found a new appreciation for billboards.

“No kidding,” agreed Roland.

“I climbed a billboard in Topeka as a child once. Felt pretty huge to me then, but this one is a monstrosity by comparison.”

Kit stood atop a gigantic letter “I,” and Roland on top of an equally enormous letter “C.” These letters belonged to the poorly-aged slogan “Find your beach.” No matter which direction they looked, they saw ocean, but little in the way of beach.

The three costumed men were sitting in a circle.

“Think the cards are almost dry, mate?” said the penguin a little testily.

The dolphin sat cross-legged in front of a deck of 52 cards. They were laid out individually and appeared as though they were sunbathing. In truth, they looked more like towels than sunbathers. But towels don’t sunbathe, and these cards were certainly soaking up the summer sun. He held up the queen of spades to the sky and gave the card a squinty-eyed examination.

“A li’l damp still, but we could give it a go if you’re in a hurry, mate,” the dolphin replied after a moment.

The water had continued to slowly rise. They weren’t sure how high, nor how far they’d floated but the absence of any city in sight made it especially difficult to tell. The tide had calmed to a lazy push and pull. It was a beautiful day, but the sheer lack of any surroundings left this fact without any context. This kickstarted a deeply frivolous debate over whether days could be innately beautiful.

“That’s a load of crap mate, course they can. In Mauritius da days are always beautiful,” the narwhal replied, beginning to look slightly irate.

“While I’ll agree Mauritius is beautiful, days simply aren’t beautiful by themselves. Days in Mauritius are beautiful because Mauritius is beautiful. It’s not because of the day. it’s the way sunlight reflects off of, well, things. Trees, mountains, plants… that’s the beauty of it.”

“But what about today? Da weather outside is perfect. Not a cloud in da sky, mate.”

“I’d say then that the weather is perfect and that we’re in a poor position to appreciate it.” The sunbathing queen of spades didn’t agree but seemed to decide against arguing.

The billboard made for a surprisingly durable ship. It had no means for steering, but it had faired pretty well so far. The sun moved lazily across the cloudless sky and the day wore on.

“Got any… threes?” asked the dolphin.

“Damnit,” said the narwhal, handing over his three of diamonds and three of spades. The dolphin turned now toward Kit with a sly smile on his face.

“Got any…”

“Look, I told you. You won’t win. I count cards,” Kit clarified once again.

“I can count too, mate! Now got any… fives?”

“Go fish.” said an exasperated Kit. He was beginning to accept that his message wasn’t getting across. Roland, on the other hand, seemed to be enjoying himself thoroughly.

Hours more rolled by and the cards continued trading hands frenetically.

“Look, mate, if you not gonna let anyone else win you gonna have to sit out a couple rounds,” said the dolphin through his waning patience. Kit didn’t let out a single word of protest. He hadn’t been enjoying himself anyway. For hours now he’d wrestled with the idea of simply quitting but each time the thought occurred to him he quickly remembered he had little better to do.

Kit walked slowly toward the other side of the billboard and prepared himself for a long, contemplative stare into the distance. What he was unprepared for was a jovial “Ahoy!” to emerge from a large floatation device floating nearby. The passenger — the captain — was riding on what appeared to be an inflatable unicorn equipped with a rainbow mane and tail. It had approached silently and inside of it stood a woman so cheery-eyed that she must have been oblivious to her surroundings — or lack thereof.

“Ey mate, it’s Violet!” announced the dolphin.

“It is I!” she replied as she leaned forward for a whimsically self-deprecating bow. It was an exaggerated gesture. The card game had been abruptly halted as the players began making their way toward this new, welcome distraction.

“Gotta say, didn’t think I’d ever see you again, mate.”

“I’m not your mate, but me neither! What a delightful surprise to see you guys again! And you two as well!” She gestured now toward Kit and Roland.

“I had thought for sure that you got swept away by that wave!” Roland admitted.

“Ah, but I nearly did — good thing my dad taught me to always stay prepared!”

Roland still wasn’t much of a believer in preparedness but was glad now that she felt differently.

“The inflatable unicorn is your idea of prepared?” asked Kit.

At this, Violet reached down and grabbed two full gallons of water from an unseen orifice on the inflatable unicorn and, with two punctuated grunts, heaved them toward the group one by one. Caught off guard, Kit labored to catch one of them.

“You won’t be needing these?” inquired Roland

“Nah, I’m fine over here. I’ve got six more!”

Kit and Roland both looked impressed.

“Didn’t think I’d ever get to put this boat in the trunk to good use, but what do ya know!?”

“When in Rome,” replied Kit. His tone was somewhere inbetween sardonic and thankful. His sarcasm was effective at concealing just how thankful he was.

“Mind if I dock?” she asked with a smile.

“Plenty a room mate!” replied the dolphin.

From another orifice now emerged a worn looking coil of rope that she tossed toward the dolphin. He promptly began tying the rope to one of the billboard’s supporting beams that sat only inches below the water. Once he finished securing the knot, Violet leaped over the side of the unicorn and onto the billboard.

“So what’s new?” she asked with a smile that was equal parts comforting and oblivious.

“Crazy tings mate, crazy tings,” replied the penguin.

“Gosh it’s been so long since I’ve seen you Maurice!”

“He’s got a name?” Kit asked Roland quietly with a gentle nudge but Roland was too distracted to register the question. Violet turned now toward Kit and Roland.

“So what are ya thinking now — end times?”

“I haven’t quite made up my mind yet,” shrugged Roland.

“I’m not feeling very optimistic,” admitted Kit.

“To tell you the truth, I’m not either.” But her cheery tone did little to communicate this message.

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