PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
5 Traits of Those Who Live an Extraordinary Life
Finding purpose in life has never been more difficult
For generations, it’s been called the great American Dream. And those who pursue it typically look forward to celebrating that false sense of “arrival,” characterized by reaching a certain level of accomplishment, position, or status.
In other words, “They’ve got it made!”
Granted, it’s a very subjective determination. But in most cases, it’s defined by having a good-paying job, owning a home, having children, belonging to a private club, and taking a yearly trip to some benign, family resort.
Personally, I didn’t realize how large a majority actually aspired to this standard.
Often working over half of their lives to achieve it, they spend their remaining years flaunting victory by buying a new car every year or raving about how they upgraded their accommodations to the owner’s suite on their last European cruise.
And then there’s the other side of achieving the American Dream
The last book they read? They can’t remember. The last podcast they listened to? They don’t listen to podcasts. What about articles on personal improvement or innovation? Not interested.
And finally, what about an online class, seminar, or course to learn something new? This suggestion is usually met with an incredulous stare, followed by a quick rationalization that they already spend too much time on the computer. And besides, taking on “extra work” would cut into their personal recreation — that five hours a night in front of the TV watching sitcom reruns or some other form of equally mind-numbing garbage.
From their perspective, they’ve arrived at the pinnacle of life.
There’s no reason to learn anything new — no reason to improve their mind. They’ve got it made. Nothing to do but sit back and enjoy the ride.
But for others, there is the search — the constant quest to find real happiness and satisfaction
Some of us have been at it long enough to realize it’s the search itself that motivates and excites us to explore new ideas and concepts, because the journey often leads to unexpected detours along the way. And then there’s the opportunity to meet others who are on the same quest, to compare notes, and share discoveries.
Finding purpose in life has never been more difficult
We’re inundated with social media influencers who offer their own brand of superficial persuasion. Business gurus tempt us with the latest get-rich-quick scheme — a sure thing if we buy their program. And partisan loyalties attempt to blind us to an individual’s character — whether good or bad.
In a New York Times article by Taylor Lorenz, the author exposes a new breed of scammer running rampant on social media: the young business guru. She writes, “They’re preying on kids who want to become entrepreneurs, offering mentorship services in exchange for thousands of dollars and not delivering on their promises.”
And what about our leaders?
They unabashedly promote the interests of those most likely to pay for the privilege, leaving us with few mentors — and even fewer positive examples.
So what is it — exactly — that the very small minority spends their lives searching for?
One answer might be: “It’s as varied as those who search.”
But there are common elements, characteristics, and even generalizations that are typically shared by those who reject the norm — the so-called American Dream — in favor of the “prized life.”
Here’s my list — you may want to compare it your own.
- They have recognized — usually at a very early age — the life lived by the majority is a life defined by financial status, artificial recognition, and superficial accomplishment within a narrow and select group (think Nebraska ice cream salesman of the month for the category of frozen treats excluding popsicles).
- They question the beliefs and values of the “system.” The thrill of driving a new car may last for a month or two, but the cost of that thrill continues for years. They’ve realized they don’t need to wear a two-hundred-dollar shirt or a ten-thousand-dollar watch to impress anyone — because anyone impressed with such superficiality is not someone they need or want to associate with.
- They’re not satisfied with the status quo. They know the difference between something that is useful, and a meaningless diversion. They also know there is much to do and very little time to get it done The idea of choosing life goals and objectives because they’re easy, comfortable, and undemanding is nonsensical to a searcher. Regardless of the complexity, difficulty, or probability of accomplishment, searchers follow their hearts.
- They don’t hesitate to leave the herd. They neither want to lead or follow, but simply want to explore. Using their personal internal guidance system, they pursue their own directions and interests.
- They never stop learning. They read fiction to take trips of fantasy. They devour non-fiction to learn what others have discovered, and to determine if it might be useful in their own life. Many learn other languages — if not fluently, at least to be able to communicate with people from different countries and cultures, knowing that to believe only those who speak English have something to offer is pretentious, shallow, and shortsighted.
I’ll leave you with this
Rejecting the accepted beliefs of the majority is often the starting point for those who ultimately make important contributions and discoveries. Searchers inherently move toward the things that are most important to them.
And that can make all the difference in the world.
Yes, it usually means taking a different direction with your life, even as your friends call you crazy for not following the crowd. But the rewards of taking a look back on a life that was self-directed is to live a life of fewer regrets — and greater satisfaction.
© 2021 Roger Reid. All Rights Reserved.
Roger A. Reid, Ph.D. is the author Better Mondays and Speak Up
Roger A. Reid, Ph.D. is the host of Success Point 360 Podcast and author of Better Mondays and Speak Up. A certified NLP trainer with degrees in engineering and business, Roger offers tips and strategies for achieving higher levels of career success and personal fulfillment in the real world.
