Ridiculous Reasons Why Your Boss Doesn’t Like You

In as much as I’m not a fan of making stereotypical assumptions, my knowledge of the different personality traits has made me understand that there are some character traits that are unique to women. These traits play a big role in determining how a woman would behave or interact with people in various situations. The focus of this article is the Workplace.

A lot of women have had issues with their female bosses. Issues that may be as a result of the fact that their bosses dislike their guts. It may also be because she finds joy in being mean to her subordinates. Whatever the case may be, If you’ve ever got the feeling that your boss doesn’t like you, you are definitely not alone. I have had little experience in that area.

After graduating from the university a few years ago, the first work experience I had was an experience of a lifetime. This is because working in that organization in many ways, gave me life lessons. Lessons I’m grateful for. Lessons I’d share with you.

Before I reveal these lessons to you, I’d love to give you a little insight into my experience at my first job.

My first job was a one-year training work experience for university graduates. It was at an elite private school. I applied to be a counsellor at the school and was given the job by the owner of the school himself. The owner/director of the school is a kind-hearted and humble man, who made me feel welcomed the moment I met with him. He instructed that I be assigned an office immediately in order to start the counselling work with the students.

The school has three segments — British, International and Integrate. The director had appointed 3 principals for each segment. The Principal for Academics was the head of all three principals.

On my first day at work, I went ahead to introduced myself to the Principal for academics. She was this kind, soft-spoken and hospitable woman, probably in her early 50s. The moment I entered her office, she welcomed me wholeheartedly. She began to refer to me as her daughter and said I reminded her of her daughter who was schooling in London. She even called her daughter and put us on a video call.

I must say, she was right because it almost felt as though I was on a video call with myself. After the call had ended, I and the principal began discussing my new assignment. I told her my plans and goals for the school. I presented some worksheets and questionnaires that I had prepared and she made some suggestions for me as well.

Unfortunately for me, I soon realised that that was her last day working as the principal in that particular branch of the school. Apparently, she was being transferred to another branch.

Soon some guy came into the office to help pack up her belongings from the office while another woman, walked into the office. The woman who appeared to be in her late 40s quickly made her way to the nice lady. Both women hugged really tight and exchanged pleasantries, so clearly they had known each other from before. From their conversation, I could tell she was the new Principal for Academics. The nice lady introduced me to the lady and pleaded that she helped make my stay there pleasant.

She told her I was a fresh graduate and had just been employed as a counsellor for the school. The lady smiled and said “ yeah sure” and then both women left the office to go see some other principal. While I was still seated in her office, the nice lady came back in. She advised that I be diligent at my work but also expect some sort of oppression from a few. According to her, there’s usually a lot of politics and oppression in the ‘Work World’. She advised I don’t let anyone oppress me or make me feel worthless. Little did I know she was referring to the new principal.

A few minutes later, the nice principal left. While I was seated in the reception waiting to be given an office for my counselling assignment, the new principal called me. She told me she’d like for me to teach a subject ( Social Studies). I told her I wasn’t a teacher and that I am a psychologist. I applied as a counsellor, not a teacher. Then she insisted I was going to teach for a short while, while they prepared an office for me for my counselling. I expressed my disapproval and tried to make her understand what a bad idea that was.

I told her that once the students accept me as a teacher, it would be difficult for them to see me as their counsellor. I told her that would hinder the purpose of my job. Still, the principal insisted.

I reluctantly accepted to teach the subject and look on the bright side. Social Studies is similar to counselling. It treats a lot of social issues and creates awareness for teenagers on different social topics. Teaching the subject might help me get closer to the students. That meant I could still help counsel some of the students. I refuse to let a little bump on the road keep me from getting my first work experience in my field.

Since I had a way with teenagers, mostly because I can still remember being one not so long ago, soon the students started coming to me. Even though the principal never gave me an office like she said she would, the students felt comfortable talking to me. At a point, I was no longer just their social studies teacher, I was also their counsellor.

Soon other teachers started telling me about how almost all the students claimed I was their best teacher. I must say, hearing that made me feel fulfilled. It made me realize that I was doing something right. Because being able to impact these teenagers young lives was all that mattered to me.

I must admit, a part of me had expected I was going to get a thumbs up from the principal as she was the one who persuaded me to teach in the first place. But she never did, instead, I noticed she began giving me so much workload. One time I had overworked myself to a point where I almost fainted. I know I shouldn’t have gone to work the following day but I also knew she’d probably use that against me. Instead, I managed to go to work. I made sure I taught all my classes for the day, marked all the notes and assignments and filled in all the records of over 50 students. Just as I was beginning to feel light-headed, I was advised by some other teachers to go home and rest. I decided to get an Exit Permit from the principal but she refused to grant me.

I told her I was done with all my job for the day and that I wasn’t feeling so good, she could even see I was no longer strong enough to stand upright and still, she refused. I had to leave anyway because my health was much more important than any job experience.

Subsequently, I had to endure many other maltreatments at the office before I finally completed my 1-year training/ work experience.

Now before I go ahead and tell you the reasons why your boss doesn’t like you, there are some things about me id like to highlight. It would help you understand this more, especially if you are like me.

The first thing is; I am on the quiet side especially in public — I write better than I talk. People who do not talk much seem mysterious to others because no one really knows what you are thinking and some people feel intimidated by that.

Another thing you should know is, I have a calm and calculated demeanour — I always take my time when doing anything. I talk gently and I’m always early or on time to work so I’m never in a hurry (I walk slowly). I noticed that your walking style says a lot about your level of confidence. Some of my colleagues made this observation and suggested that that was part of the reason the principal felt intimidated by me. Since she was the type who liked to demand fear and respect from her subordinates, she hated the fact that I was always calm in her presence.

Also, you should know that I’m never everywhere — At work, I was always in my office, when I wasn’t, I would be in class. She had expressed to me once that she doesn’t like the fact that she rarely sees me. I tried to make her understand that since I wasn’t given an office, I’ve been staying in the library most of the time. That’s where I go to after teaching my classes. I also told her that since the library is on the first floor and her office isn’t there, perhaps that is the reason why see seldom sees me.

Another thing you should probably know about me is I respect, but I don’t fear people. — I don’t tremble at the presence of anyone and as I mentioned, she is the type who feeds on people’s fear at the office so she definitely hated that.

Even though I knew all these, I never let that change me into something I’m not — timid

Growing up, my grandmother had taught me these qualities. It had become part of me.

Words from my Granny

She would always say to me

• respect everyone but fear no one.
• only a sloppy person is always in a hurry, take your time, plan and calculate your move before you step
• you don’t need to be everywhere at all times, you don’t need to be seen, do your work diligently and your work would expose you.

These were the words I grew up to. I was trained to be bold even in the face of fear. But this kind of confidence was not actually helpful to me at my workplace with a boss like that principal. This confidence got me in trouble several times with my boss. I knew what she wanted me to do, how she wants me to be — timid. I wasn’t about to lose all that my grandmother had taught me over the years just because I was working with someone like the principal. Even though I later made some changes in the way I related with her — I complimented her occasionally and tried to act timid around her for a short while before I was finally done with my one-year training work experience. I am glad I left on a good note with her as she was quite pleasant to me on my last day at the school.

The director later called to offer me a job in the school. Even though I was honoured to have been offered the job, I had to turn it down because I’d rather work in a place where I can be myself — confident, respectful and productive. A place where I can contribute to the development of the organisation.

The reason why I had to tell you my personal experience is that I had to draw some points from it in order to better show you Some reasons why your female boss doesn’t like yo:

• Your Boss is Human: The first thing you should understand is, your boss is human. Have you ever said or heard a person say this statement “ I don’t know why but I just don’t like her/him”? Yes, humans feel this way sometimes. What happens is, you’d realise you can’t actually pinpoint why you dislike the person. Personally, I don’t like to feel this way about anyone. I don’t permit it in my heart. Once I notice I don’t like a person, I make it a duty to start searching for things to love about that person and often times than not, I always discover lovely things to love about them but yes this could be a reason why your boss doesn’t like you.
• Your Boss is a Woman: You have to also understand that your boss is a woman. What do I mean by this? In as much as we’d like to pretend this isn’t the case, Insecurity is common amongst women. I’m not saying it doesn’t happen to men, I’m saying, most women are still trying to learn their worth. Maybe because of the way society has been treating us, woman, since the beginning of time. This is why sometimes, you’d see a woman with all her beauty, title and position still find it difficult acknowledging her amazing attributes and value. So it’s possible it’s nothing you did, it’s just something your boss needs to work on.
• You Never Compliment Your Boss: Women love Compliments and as a woman yourself, You can testify to this. This is probably a mistake I made with my first boss. I never complimented her. I was still upset about being made to teach instead of counselling because even though teaching is an amazing work, I never had the intention of being a teacher. Perhaps if I had paid her genuine compliments, that might have softened her heart towards me. Are you complimenting your boss? When I say compliments, I don’t mean being a suck-up, I mean genuinely complimenting her. That always helps to strengthen your relationship with your boss.
• How old is your Boss?: Age is an important topic for most women as some of us tend to dread the ageing process. We fear getting older because that would mean, we’d no longer be as attractive as we once were, so when we see a younger lady especially an attractive younger lady, we tend to feel a bit envious. What I’m saying is, It is possible your boss doesn’t like you because you are younger or attractive. As ridiculous as that sounds, it’s true.

So what do you do if you find yourself in this sort of situation at the office? Do you just quit and look for a job somewhere else? Chances are, you might meet another boss who is just like your boss and if you are unlucky, worse.

Here’s what I advise you do, First do some soul searching. Ask yourself what it is you must have done to make your boss dislike you. If you think of something you may have done, try to make amends. if its something you need to apologise for and assure her won’t repeat itself, do that.

If after doing your soul searching, you can’t seem to find anything you must have done to her, consider these reasons I have stated above. If you notice that any of these might be the case, then you should know you are probably dealing with a woman with Insecurities and Inferiority complex.

At this juncture, you now have a decision to make. Is the job worth acting timid and fidgety in order to make your boss feel more powerful or would you rather leave and try somewhere else? I’d advise you to quit if you can’t cope but if you can, there’s one way you can successfully make your boss like you and that is showing her genuine love. Every human responds positively to love even the deadliest of terrorists, have a soft spot for those they believe truly loves them.

In one of my previous articles,

I stated that everyone has a tendency to be nice. In this case, you just need to know how to bring out the niceness in your boss.