Resisting The Shadow

My Experience With the Dark Side

“This thing of darkness I acknowledge mine.” — William Shakespeare

Observations of a Tortured Soul

As long as I can remember, I’ve been drawn to mystery more than rationalization. I prefer rainy days over bright ones.

My creative energy and the demons I’m familiar with are most active in the darkness of night.

(It’s well after midnight as I write this, I won’t be sleeping any time soon…)

Author Suggestion: Listen to Pink Floyd's
'Meddle' while you read, specifically One of These Days & Echoes.

Do you remember having dreams as a child about running or hiding from some kind of monster?

What if I told you that monster was a version of you?

Are you afraid of the unknown?

The Greek word “Aporia” (ᾰ̓πορῐ́ᾱ,) refers to a philosophical puzzle that involves paradoxical or perplexing inquiries, leading to a state of existential confusion. It creates infinite possibility for exploration.

Subjects of consciousness and unconsciousness, reality itself, and certain aspects of psychology fall into this category of mysteries that can be explored, but not necessarily explained. For example…

The Shadow: Everything hidden from the light of consciousness

• Manifests itself in dreams, projections, and imaginations.
• Not the unconscious mind, rather it lives in the unconscious.
• The curiosity of your inner child, your desires and fears, intuition, synchronicity, repressed emotions, and unexplainable connection exist within it.
• It influences us whether we recognize it or not.

It is difficult to define or explain exactly what the figurative Shadow is. If you encounter it, you’ll know.

Intuition & Synchronicity

It’s easy to romanticize the idea of shadow work, simplifying it as another form of meditation and self awareness.

The truth is that examining this unknown psychic territory yields unpredictable results.

Best case scenario: you’ll learn to embrace, integrate, and implement your shadow in a healthy way. Your intuition becomes powerfully clairvoyant, and your understanding of synchronicity allows you to connect with the collective unconscious and align yourself with the universe (a higher power.)

I’ve heard it takes years of inner work to get there.

Recurring behavior patterns also emanate from the shadow; Habitual thoughts are like shadow puppets dancing in front of us, distracting us from the manipulation of the puppeteer.

When we observe more than what’s meant to distract us, it changes our perspective.

Watch the puppeteer instead of the puppets.

Look behind the curtain.

What’s in the shadows?

What’s in your Shadow?

“To know one’s own shadow is to be at home in the darkness of the self which is where creativity and hidden treasures are stored.” — James Hillman: Soul’s Code

Mentality is Everything

Encountering the shadow is not the same as doing shadow work.

Recognizing inner darkness is different from confronting and working through repressed pain, anger, and other consuming emotions.

The connotation of ‘unimaginable darkness’ is intimidating, but this hidden realm of the psyche demands to be explored.

The inner world is separate from the physical world, although they influence each other. Spiritual examination of all aspects of self is essential for authentic introspective.

I will not pretend to be an expert. I’m not formally educated in this area, but I will share my limited understanding of this dark realm.

My first encounter with the shadow, meaning I was aware of what I was experiencing, was in the context of depression.

When I was younger, I had raging thoughts of self hatred at all times. I blamed myself for thinking this way, which only perpetuated it, and I was trapped in the cycle of a negative, self destructive mentality.

My inner world was absolute chaos until I was able to identify this darkness as an entity separate from me, and rather than fighting its voice, I allowed it to be part of my inner dialogue.

Funnily enough, the voice got a lot quieter after being acknowledged.

Realizing there has been an awakening of the darkness within you is the first step to being able to work with your shadow.

The shadow will scream over conscious thoughts if it feels ignored, overpowering any level of inner peace.

Is the shadow responsible for mental illness?

Are mental illnesses archetypes?

“There is generally no effective technique for assimilating the shadow. It is more like diplomacy or statesmanship.” — Carl Jung

Nightmares & Archetypes

Just as there is a collective unconscious and an individual unconscious, I believe there are individual archetypes.

Carl Jung defined four main archetypes:

• the Self — unifies the conscious and unconscious mind, the ultimate center of the psyche
• the Shadow — unknown, deeper elements of our psyche, it is troubling and fascinating
• the Anima — the female soul of the male psyche, or male soul of the female psyche, our true self
• the Persona — the social mask of our inner selves, what we present to the world

Jung also noted several archetypal images that occur in most cultures; The Divine Child, The Wise Old Soul, The Great Mother, and The Trickster.

The Trickster is my favorite of these images. They often appear as a wise, potentially powerful fool (oxymoronic). This figure teaches us discernment. If you manifest change, the Trickster may burn your house down. Be careful what you ask for.

Learning to recognize these archetypes helps us to understand messages from the unconscious, and therefore understand our inner selves better.

Context is important when interpreting the language of dreams.

Recurring dreams and nightmares seem to have a transformative purpose. They repeat their message until it’s understood.

Some of the illusions in dreams may seem meaningless, but they can provide a lot of insight when we learn to recognize our individual archetypes and what they’re trying to tell us.

I have a commonly recurring theme in my dreams. I find myself lost in a labyrinth of hallways, stair cases, and doors, usually in some kind of temple or museum.

I start out in this maze with familiar people, but I always end up alone.

I’ve had this type of dream since I was a child. It happens often enough that I usually realize I’m dreaming, which leads to lucid dreams.

This is when it gets very dark; only in lucid nightmares have I experienced direct encounters with what I believe to be a manifestation of the shadow. It knows my fears and forces me to confront them. It presents me with my memories and my future simultaneously. (I will get more into lucid dreaming another time, stay tuned…)

I’ve concluded that this labyrinth represents my life; I am constantly discovering different pathways without a clue what they lead to.

I lack focus because I’m distracted by the myriad of potential futures I’m presented with.

My dreams never have a satisfactory ending; they always feel interrupted. Maybe this is a message that inner work is never ending.

I wonder if this is why I struggle with endings in life and in writing.

What are some recurring dreams or nightmares you’ve experienced?

Integrating & Implementing

We tend to suppress emotional expressions of anger, confusion, and fear in an effort to appear a certain way.

These emotions have both positive and negative attributes, but the positive cannot be implemented until both are accepted.

When we try to ignore emotions, the negative attributes are emphasized.

Anxiety is an expression of repressed fear. Depression is an expression of repressed grief.

Integrating the shadow is a continuous process.

Ask yourself: Who am I? Why do I think the way I do? Why do I notice the things I notice? Why do I react the way I do? Which thoughts are related to the collective unconscious? What messages am I receiving from my individual unconscious?

Focus on the themes occurring in your dreams. Record what you see, hear, and feel (in detail) in order to investigate messages from the unconscious.

If you have trouble remembering dreams, try asking yourself in the mirror, “Are you dreaming?”

I do this regularly; this question is ingrained into my subconscious.

Sometimes figures in my dreams will approach me and ask, “Are you dreaming?”

Contemplating these questions and embracing the shadow as part of our identity accelerates continuous self discovery.

Embracing the Shadow

My Shadow evolves as I do, She insists on contrasting the light I have always wanted to outrun her, I now realize I am following her guide.

I would like to believe I have learned to embrace my shadow, and I benefit greatly from the artistic aspects of it. I am at least more aware and in tune with my subconscious than I used to be.

I think my tattoos are the most publicly exposed expression of the creative element in my shadow; they start as drawings in my journal and become a physical painting that I get to take with me everywhere. These pieces of art are a self expression that came from within.

Tattoos are only as permanent as I am; they remind me that my life is temporary.

The fact that life is temporary is more of a relief than it is morbid. Would you want to do this forever? I believe there has to be more.

We are spiritual beings experiencing life from within a physical barrier.

Let’s not neglect the spiritual.

In one of my first articles (Collective Consciousness) I mentioned that I wanted to write about shadow work. Describing the shadow and its influence is something I’ve been contemplating for weeks. Hopefully I’ve done it some justice.

If not, my shadow will certainly let me know.

With that, I leave you. Until next time…

Thank you for reading!

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