Resisting Reality: Why You Struggle To Attract Your Desires
Your ultimate guide to understanding resistance.
When life pushes us into a storm in the middle of the ocean, our inclination is to fight against the waves. But when we fight against the waves, we become out of control. It can feel like we are being tossed around by the universe.
We may not drown, but we suffer. We end up exhausted, out of breath, and with motion sickness.
It’s only when we release resistance and swim with the current that we realize we are the ocean itself, and by trusting in that power, anything is possible.
Why are the things you desire the most always the hardest to attain?
Simple. You are resisting the natural unfolding of life.
Resistance is the big daddy of personal development and spiritual growth. This guide aims to help you understand, uncover, and overcome whatever you are resisting—so you get out of your own way and create the life experience you desire.
What is Resistance?
Resistance is literally anything that keeps you from being fully present in what Eckhart Tolle refers to as the “now moment.“
What is the “now moment?” It is what is right here right now in front of you in which there is no past and no future. The now is the only thing you ever have.
- Resistance is the kryptonite to creating change in life.
- Resistance pushes you out of manifestor consciousness and into victim consciousness.
- Resistance is the cloud of self-preservation and armor of protection we put around us.
What Does Resistance Do?
Short and sweet: The Law of Resonance starts working against you: You begin resonating with the energy of the things you don’t want in your life.
You might have heard the saying: what you resist persists. Resistance keeps the things you want in your life away from you while giving you more of the same experiences you are resisting.
If you take anything out of this guide, let this be the one thing: The more you don’t want something, the more you will get of it.
How Does Resistance Show Up?
The wall of resistance gets thrown up anytime the world and the circumstances around us don’t measure up to our beliefs and expectations. Here are some common examples:
- Trying to force reality or actively change situations in your life.
- Wanting or trying to make people change.
- Complaining and blaming about literally anything.
- Judging yourself, others, or the world.
- Limited beliefs and self-doubt.
- “Needing” something or requiring a certain outcome.
When we resist, we basically tell the Universe we are not interested in the infinite possibilities it has to offer.
What Creates Resistance?
Wanting = Resistance
Everything we want to manifest in our lives is rooted in the energy of desire. With that brings an incessant “need” to have this outcome happen.
This “needing” something to happen is resistance in and of itself — because much of desire is typically based on feelings of lack or unworthiness.
Here are a few points to keep in mind about “wanting.”
- The most difficult part of manifesting our desires is going from where we are now to where we want to be. We see it as an uphill climb that we are so far away from, and thus we don’t think it’s possible.
- All goals carry with them a level of expectation. And when a goal seems like a monumental feat or out of our realm of possibility, this expectation leads to fear. We fear that it won’t turn out. We worry about failing or not being good enough. But this is how we start to self-sabotage because it moves us out of resonance with our desires.
- Sometimes we want something because we feel stuck or believe attaining it will make us happy and fulfilled. However, this is the exact opposite of the attitude you want to have when seeking to manifest. Instead, the object of your desire will start to flow to you once you are happy and fulfilled.
- Most importantly, by nature, the act of wanting puts your energy towards the future. Remember our definition of resistance from earlier? Resistance is anything that takes you away from the here and now. When we start fantasizing or obsessing over the future, it pushes that thing we want further away because it keeps us out of the present moment.
How Do You Get Beyond Resistance?
1. You can’t fix resistance.
The thought or attempt to fix resistance is a form of resistance. Again, it’s not about trying and pushing harder.
Instead, you can only observe resistance and allow yourself to be with it.
2. Change your perspective on it.
While resistance zaps your creative powers and ability to change your life, it is also a guide.
This is the golden nugget of dealing with resistance: Begin viewing everything and everyone you resist in life as a compass for what you really need to work on.
Not sure where to start?
Your biggest indicator is anytime you find yourself complaining, blaming, or judging. When this happens, pay close attention because resistance always leaves clues.
3. The art of surrender.
The only answer to resistance is surrendering to the present moment and trusting the path you are on, even when it is uncomfortable,
Keep in mind that this is not about having to give up your preferences, entering the land of kumbaya, or pretending that everything thing is perfect, instead surrender is about:
- Having a mindset of allowing: an unconditional acceptance of the here and now.
- Letting go of the endless ideas you cling to on how things should be.
- Becoming available to the infinite ways the Universe can set in motion forces to come to your aid.
- Focusing on what you can create instead of what you don’t like or wish was different.
Once we accept everything for what it is and stay in the present moment now, then a better path becomes available to us: we become conscious creators!
Resistance Questions
Below is a list of questions to assist you in uncovering all the parts of your life you are resisting.
- What situations consistently keep me out of the present moment?
- Am I attached to my expectations for any of my goals or desires?
- Can I get beyond these expectations?
- Can I get beyond how I think this situation is supposed to unfold?
- What parts of my life am I unable to accept as it is?
- Where have I been overly judgmental?
- What would my life be like if I dropped all judgments?
- What do I find myself complaining about often?
- Who or what do I often blame when things don’t go my way or when I’m uncomfortable?
- Am I desiring something out of desperation or lack?
- Has any of my goals or desires turned into an obsession?
- Am I attached to something or someone?
- Is there any situation in my life I am rigid or inflexible?
- Where in my life do I need to simply relax and let go?
- How can I get out of my own way?
What is the absence of resistance?
Now, after answering those 15 questions, the next thing to ask yourself becomes: what would my life look like if resistance was completely removed?
The answer is simple.
The absence of resistance is a loving reality.
When we love reality, it evolves into magnificence — that is when we embody the right energetic frequency to bend reality.
It is only when we resist reality, that it stays the same.
Surrendering resistance is how we take our natural place as creators in the universe.
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