Remembering to E.N.J.O.Y. the Moment
A step-by-step framework for overcoming nerves and anxiety
“What happened? I blacked out.”
Sound familiar? It probably does, because we’ve all been there. Nerves, anxiety, and the panic that comes along with them are unavoidable parts of life.
Dear nerves: “Why, even?”
Nerves and anxiety are built into our DNA to warn us of danger. They are unavoidable because they are part of our “fight or flight” response. In short, our bodies release hormones (like adrenaline) in stressful situations, to help us concentrate and act. Nerves and anxiety keep us primed for action but can also cause us to overthink and underperform.
So, how can you overcome nerves, anxiety, and thousands of years of biology to perform at your best when it really counts?
The answer is much easier said than done. By staying present, recognizing your feelings, and accepting them.
As someone who has battled with debilitating nerves and performance anxiety for as long as I can remember, I’ve become quite the expert on the subject. So, I’ve compiled for you today, decades worth of self-doubt, worry, and the lessons I’ve learned in conquering these uncomfortable feelings into a handy, step-by-step mental framework.
I call it “Remembering to E.N.J.O.Y.”
Putting it into practice
Broken down into five introspective steps, this mental framework will help you to recognize, accept, and ultimately prevail over your inherent, biological responses to stress, allowing you to perform at your best despite anything life throws at you.
Step #1: Exaggerating the situation
When faced with a nerve-wracking experience, start by asking yourself these two, simple questions:
What’s the worst that could happen?
And, what is the best?
Then, record your answers…
What is the best possible outcome for this event?
And, what is the worst?
Perfect. Now, for step number two…
Step #2: Negating Reality
Taking yourself out of reality i.e. what is going to happen, could happen, or has happened in the past, ask yourself, “If each outcome WERE to happen…”
What would be the impact be on YOU?
What feelings would come along with this outcome?
Fill in the blanks…
Ok. And now, the worst-case…
Perfect. Now that you’ve unpacked your feelings, it’s time to justify them!
Step #3: Justifying your feelings
Remember, feelings are never ‘right’, ‘wrong’, or otherwise… they just ‘are.’
Understanding how you’re feeling at any given moment can be tough. Once you discover how you feel, it’s important to uncover what is behind those feelings. You can do this by simply asking, “Why?”
“Why” is one of the hardest questions to answer. It is also one of the most important questions to ask. Let’s continue by asking the hard-hitting question, “Why do you feel that way?”
Ask for each scenario…
And, the worst-case…
It’s always interesting to discover what is behind the innate reactions we have. Anger, frustration, and panic are common reactions to situations that we don’t understand or have control over. This is our parasympathetic nervous system taking over to protect us. Getting to the root cause of these feelings helps put them in perspective. Once they are clearly visible, we can accept them.
Step #4: Open yourself up to ALL possibilities
Acceptance is the first step of any successful journey. You are ultimately in control of yourself and only yourself. Being that we cannot predict the future, nor should we attempt to, you must prepare yourself with the understanding that anything can happen… and that’s ok.
To do this, visualize the best-case and worst-case scenarios. Get deep into how each outcome might make you feel, and what the impact would be. Really soak it in. Now close your eyes, inhale, and as you exhale, let these thoughts go. They haven’t happened, they may never happen, and if they do happen, that is ok. You will be ok, and life will go on.
Success is easier to accept than failure but both outcomes are equal and have an equal probability of coming to fruition. At the end of the day, everything just ‘is’. Accepting any possible outcome means accepting how you will feel. No matter your actions, how you perform or don’t perform, remember to love yourself. You are worthy and deserving of happiness.
Just because things didn’t go the way you would have preferred this time, it doesn’t mean they can’t in the future.
Step #5: You can do it!
Life is a journey full of hidden paths and exciting detours. Embrace every one of them and remember to enjoy the moment. If your life was laid out for you at birth with a detailed itinerary, that would be pretty boring, wouldn’t it?
Understanding your feelings towards the unknown puts you at the helm, and allows you to ride the wave of uncertainty instead of being swept away by it. Let go of past anxieties, stop grasping at future fears, and accept where you’re standing, today.
Presence, is a gift best received in real-time.
If you enjoyed this mental walkthrough, you may be interested in how to expedite the process. Walking meditations have become my lifeline to introspection and my everyday cure-all. Check it out, below!