Your Parasympathetic Nervous System Can Help You Cope With Your Anxiety, if you put in the work

One of the most important things I’ve ever learned over the last ten years is belly breathing.

I know. I know. “Just breathe.” “Take a deep breathe.” These are all things we’ve heard thousands of times and they almost always sound naive and paternalistic. But stick with me here because there’s some very basic biology involved.

About a year ago a therapist was telling me about some new breathing techniques for coping (I’ll get to those in a bit). I was nodding my head (“yeah, yeah, yeah…”), when the therapist mentioned three words: “parasympathetic nervous system.”

“Controlled belly breathing activates your parasympathetic nervous system.”

“Your what?”

The therapist explained that your nervous system is composed of two halves. You have your sympathetic nervous system and your parasympathetic nervous system.

here’s the big million dollar fact: your sympathetic nervous system and your parasympathetic nervous system canNOT be active at the same time.

Your sympathetic nervous system is the part of your nervous system that is active during fight or flight. You know what fight of flight is, but if you don’t, read more here.

When activated, your sympathetic nervous system causes your breathing to become more rapid, your heart rate to increase, and your blood to flow from your extremities to your organs. Sound anything like what you feel when your anxious? Yup. Probably.

Your parasympathetic nervous system is the more friendly part of your nervous system (not to say your sympathetic nervous system isn’t critical). When your sympathetic nervous system isn’t acting up, your parasympathetic nervous system is in charge. Your breathing slows, your heart rates slows, and your body begins to repair itself. Think of it this way: when you’ve had a really good night’s sleep, your parasympathetic nervous system was calling the shots.

Now, here’s the big million dollar fact: your sympathetic nervous system and your parasympathetic nervous system canNOT be active at the same time. It’s one or the other. They can’t share the joy stick.

On the surface, of course it makes sense. You can’t be breathing quickly and slowly at the same time. Your heart can’t be both racing and steady. You can’t be calm and anxious at the same time.

So? So, let me take you back to what the therapist told me: “Controlled belly breathing activates your parasympathetic nervous system.”

So, logically, if you activate your parasympathetic nervous system, you shut down your sympathetic nervous system and all the anxiety it brings to your body.

Click. Light bald. This was HUGE. Belly breathing and all that nonsense was no longer “nonsense,” it was a real technique to help with anxiety.

And trust me, it works. It takes practice, but it works. And the peace of mind this simple biological knowledge gives you is priceless.

So, that’s all well and good, but what are these magical techniques?

One of my favorites is called four-corner breathing. Although, I actually prefer what I call “the funnel” technique (I’ll get to that).

Four-corner breathing requires you to imagine a square (or to actually focus on an object with four corners).

1. Focus on the top left corner, breath in for a count of four.
2. Focus on the top right corner, hold your breath for a count of four.
3. Focus on the bottom right corner, breath out for four.
4. Focus on the bottom left corner, wait for a count of four before returning to step 1.

Like I said, I prefer my technique, which I call “the funnel.” Imagine an upside down pyramid.

1. Focus on the top left corner, breath in for a count of four.
2. Focus on the top right corner, hold your breath for a count of four.
3. Focus on the bottom corner, breathe out slowly for a count of eight.

The key here is to breath into your abdomen (“belly breathing”). It’s also called diaphragmatic breathing. Pushing down your diaphragm is essential to activating your parasympathetic nervous system.

Google diaphragmatic breathing and you’ll get some great videos on how to do the breathing exercises properly. In future posts, I’ll share other belly breathing techniques.

Remember, this takes practice. You should practice belly breathing everyday for at least four minutes so that when you actually need it (when you need to shut down your sympathetic nervous system when it’s acting up our of turn), you’re ready.