The Backlash Abates? Stories of LGBTQ Love and Cheer
Red State Trans Joy
I’m grateful for the people in my neck of the woods
Life among people in my area is joyous even though I live in an area that people in other parts of my state sometimes don't see that way.
I’m a trans woman in a blue part of a red state, living in a red town right next to a blue state. Sometimes, people from my state think we’re from our neighboring state. The neighboring state’s people sometimes think we’re from a faraway land. It makes my place a liminal space between rural and urban life. I like it in many ways. Growing up as an Army brat has conditioned me to enjoy life in the border zone between two philosophical outlooks. I have never felt like I’ve had a hometown. It would be unsettling for me to feel rooted in a place.
Transitioning is life in the liminal zone for me. Like my geographical area, people can view me in various ways. It all depends on what I’m wearing or the length of my hair.
I love where I live. Everyone has always been nice, no matter where I’ve been. Big city or a micro town with just a gasoline station.
I’ve had a transgender flag sticker on my car for years without issues.
There’s an LGBTQIA+-friendly bar in my county.
I live near an urban area that has a large LGBTQIA+ community.
Life is great!
I love where I live. Everyone has always been nice, no matter where I’ve been. Big city or a micro town with just a gasoline station.
People are a lot more chill these days than when I was in middle school on the East Coast. A lot of boys fought and bullied each other during those awkward years. I moved to the Midwest for high school, and everyone I’ve met, for the most part, has been lovely, even when I was working in an adversarial profession. I worked in retail during college; even the worst customer wasn’t too extreme.
It might be me, but I suspect people where I live, are genuinely nice for the most part. I still lock my doors and care for personal safety by being aware of my surroundings, but I’m not worried much about my well-being. Most people are good people who care about their neighbors. While married to my ex, I left the garage door open all day. Nothing was bothered inside the house.
From the ground level, things are pretty awesome. The view from 30,000 feet isn’t as nice for trans people, but it doesn’t seem to filter down to regular folks. Our state leaders are in their own world, so many ignore their ignorance. I’m glad people aren’t political.
I live in a state that just passed a ban on trans children receiving medical care. Indiana is a year or two behind the times, so I’m sure the trend of banning all gender-affirming care will come. After all, our state banned reproductive medical care for women in a special session of the General Assembly as soon as possible after the Dobbs decision. When the state allowed people to change their identification markers to “X,” part of me thought it was a trap. I don’t want this version of my state to know that I’m trans. I go across the state line for my gender-affirming care, where the city and state firmly support LGBTQIA+ people.
From the ground level, things are pretty awesome. The view from 30,000 feet isn’t as nice for trans people, but it doesn’t seem to filter down to regular folks. Our state leaders are in their own world, so many ignore their ignorance. I’m glad people aren’t political.
But I’m optimistic that the great people in our state will find a way to get the politicians to reverse their ways. Research from the Williams Institute shows a relatively large number of LGBTQIA+ people living in my state. When the state leaders tried to discriminate against LGBTQIA+ people last decade with a bonkers religious freedom law, the outcry caused them to fix it to end discrimination. It also was the tolling bell of the former governor's political career, who championed anti-LGBTQIA+ discrimination. His folly pushed him into the embrace of the former guy who guaranteed his ruin. Now, he’s an afterthought, hiding from MAGA folks upset he followed his oath to the Constitution.
I will take action in the best ways I can to change things in our state. I’ll recognize that which I can’t change. It keeps me positive and mentally healthy to expend energy in productive ways. I’m grateful that Medicaid expansion covers therapy to remind me.
I‘ve found the Serenity Prayer works as a powerful tool throughout life.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference
I always try to contemplate with gratitude my blessings, even if they are humble. I’m thankful for being able to write this and share my thoughts with you.
I have realistic expectations of life. Years of counseling have helped me with that. I give thanks to my counselors. Everything, including me, does not have to be perfect. It wasn’t long ago that I felt cringy looking at my old pictures. Now, I look at them and feel happy seeing the subtle changes over the years.
I extend the exact expectations to everyone around me. If I’m curious and open-minded, I find that everyone has something in common with me. If I think I’m different or unique, it is worthwhile to take a moment to connect with someone else who will remind me that we are all bonded as humans.
I love thinking and writing about politics, but I don’t discuss it in real life unless I’m with interested people. People don’t discuss sports with me much, so it’s probably similar. I’ve observed that people aren’t political. Sometimes the red and blue divisions shown on maps and political discussions simplify life on the ground in “flyover country,” as political pundits have called the Midwest too much. We are more complex and nuanced.
I used to see more overt politics in the past. Fox News would be playing in offices and waiting rooms. People would begin conversations that sounded like the way Tucker Carlson spoke. “I saw Starbucks … red cup … war on … .” Someone tried to open a conservative-themed coffee shop. It failed. I don’t see political themes displayed as much today. Places that used to have a television blaring Fox News seem to have changed the programming to topics related to their business. The doctor’s office has medical information on the screen. The car repair shop has maintenance tips. The restaurant has a weather channel playing. Another great thing is daytime television isn’t causing me to feel depressed about the state of humanity as I wait for an appointment. I haven’t watched daytime TV in years, so I hope it has changed its ways.
There’s a positive energy flowing through our communities.
These changes in self-expression have happened at the neighborhood and house levels. All the political flags that used to fly over porches and from flag poles have been exchanged for American, sports teams, or holiday celebration flags. I used to see cars covered with bumper stickers celebrating the former guy cruising around. It has been a while since I’ve been behind a car or pickup like that. People are more likely to have a local high school sports team decal.
People are smiling these days. If I catch the eye of someone, I’ll say “hi,” and they say “hi” back with a smile. Even the men and women working at the local gas station chain say “hello” to everyone entering their stores. I’ve noticed that other local businesses are starting to welcome everyone these days. Some of the national chain stores follow the local places' lead.
Life is getting better daily.
People are more optimistic.
There’s a positive energy flowing through our communities.
People enjoy being around each other in shops, restaurants, and public places.
Traditional Midwestern friendliness and hospitality are on full display these days.
I love it!
This story is a response to the Prism & Pen writing prompt, The Backlash Abates? Stories of LGBTQ Love and Cheer.