International Women’s Day 2024

Reconnecting with my American Mother — 15 Years Later

A bond unlike any other!

For International Women’s Day 2024, I want to recognize my American mom and the generous support she provided for my success!

I held her in a tight embrace. It had been almost fifteen years since I last saw my American Mother, or Lucy Mommy (name changed for privacy) as I called her.

Fifteen years is a long time for our lives to change. The changes in my life that I introduced to her that day were a wife and two kids. Both my kids clung to their mom and surveyed Lucy inquisitively.

I had explained to them who Lucy was and why we were visiting her — naturally, they were shy. I hardly blamed them — it was the first time they had met her.

How I met her?

As a teenage boy, I firmly held my airplane seat and checked my tickets, passport, and what little savings I had for the umpteenth time. I calculated how much transfer time I had at Heathrow Airport and catch the next flight to Chicago. It is going to be tight — I am probably going to miss it!

I was scared shitless. A seventeen-year-old who had never set foot on an airplane, let alone traveled abroad. A lot was going through my head: Will they let me go through immigration? How would I make it to my residence from the airport? How would I survive in an alien country? You get the picture.

By the time I got off my last flight from Chicago to Baltimore, I was a mess — badly jet-lagged and famished. After getting my luggage, I stood next to the exit, not knowing what to do. I surveyed my surroundings, trying to locate a phone booth.

I felt a soft hand on my shoulder. I turned around and saw a middle-aged woman smiling at me. “How was your journey?”, she inquired.

All I managed was a tired smile. She put her arm around me.

“Don’t worry son. You are home now.”

By the time we arrived at her house, her warm welcome and assuring tone had allayed some of my fears — at least for the time being. Some hot chocolate helped too.

Why was she important to me?

Everything around me was alien, and I badly missed home. Even though I spoke excellent English, the American slang and the cultural differences were difficult to negotiate. The first month was the most challenging one.

Without her motherly support and constant consoling, it would have been tougher. She gave me a home away from home. She would cheer me up motivate me, and occasionally pull my leg as well. It was the beginning of an amazing relationship — a strong mother-son bond.

By Thanksgiving, I had settled into my new home and made some friends. Lucy graciously ensured that I did not feel overwhelmed or neglected as her family poured in for Thanksgiving. I was treated as an equal family member, given a seat at the table, and even said the grace to begin dinner.

She was very excited about my first formal ball at college. She would not stop taking photos and making jokes. Her humor and occasional satire were aimed at making me comfortable. Formal balls/ proms and dances were not part of my culture back home. She drove me and my date to the event, chatting non-stop on the way. She was more excited than I was.

The College Boy Drifts Away

By the end of my freshman year at college, I had assimilated into the American way of life. I made tons of friends, spoke perfect slang to fit in, and participated in all the college kids’ shenanigans.

Gradually, I drifted away from Lucy Mommy. We would still talk now and then, and I would visit her every once in a while — but it was sporadic at best.

Despite our growing apart, she provided her unflinching support. I continued to receive care packages from her and would spend Thanksgiving and Christmas with her.

Come graduation, my parents could not make it, but she was there for me — a very proud mom! Her contribution and support throughout my college journey was invaluable. I could not have done it without her.

Fast forward fifteen years — I was on holiday with my family and Washington DC was one of the planned destinations. My interaction with Lucy Mommy had been reduced to a Christmas/ New Year’s greeting over Facebook. Being in DC and not visiting her was unthinkable.

She was excited to hear the news and insisted that we stay the weekend at her place.

As I embraced her, it was tough to hold back. I think both of us shed a tear or two at that moment.

We ordered some food — she was never too keen on cooking. She shared my embarrassing stories from college with my wife and kids — like any dutiful mother-in-law and grandma.

My wife and kids went off to bed but me and Lucy Mommy stayed up late, catching up and talking about wonderful memories that we had shared.

It was quite late when we got up. I embraced her once again. “Mommy you know, you are a big part of everything that I am now.”

“I wished I had stayed in touch more often and tried to be a better son.”

I heard those magically soothing words once more,

“Don’t worry son. You are home now.”

Postscript

A shout-out to Dr. Gabriella Korosi for her inspiring poem on International Women’s Day.

And, a shout-out to Dr. Preeti Singh for her wonderful article.

If you like, we can share a cup of coffee here: Tee Ess Chaudhry (buymeacoffee.com)

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✍ — Published by Dr. Gabriella Korosi, at Dancing Elephants Press. Click here for submission guidelines.