Reclaim your Rhythm in life

Pause!!

It’s been four months since I took a break from work, that too in the midst of COVID!! So, it’s not just the work that paused, COVID ensured that the social replacement therapy, that I would have typically indulged in is limited as well — there are no social do’s to join, no dine outs, no chats over drinks! Nothing !!!

As we enter the holiday season, the grand Diwali parties are missing, and I presume Santa will skip his (her!!) usual community exuberance this year.

Normally, I would have torn my hair off by now!! But surprisingly, I seem to be relaxed and enjoying this sudden calmness that has taken over my Type A personality.

While running the marathon of life, as I got deeper into the race of pursuing my goals, delivering on my responsibilities, and chasing happiness, I forgot to pause and ask my Self, “how am I truly doing? Am I pursuing my highest goal? Am I feeling fulfilled?”

As I embarked on my break after almost 25 years of work, I realized that I was out of synch and needed to tune back into the natural rhythm of life.

Phew!!! Guess I really needed to pause and smell my coffee!

It is essential from time to time, to check where you are going and is it in alignment with what you genuinely want. Sometimes, we forget our core values and start chasing dreams and building an external identity which is not aligned to our intrinsic character. This causes unnecessary conflict and stress in life. It is important to review our beliefs and habits regularly to ensure that they are serving us positively and not limiting our perspective or our potential to be the best version of ourselves.

As I step back into my natural rhythm and realign my beliefs and aspirations to my core values and what is critical for me in life, I decided to share with you, my friends, the five key mantras I intend to live with, in the next, more enlightened phase of my life. While I believe we are all on our unique journeys, I also believe, we are all connected, and somewhere our learnings are all shared, and there is a message for each one of us in these five mantras.

Operate from a sense of Being rather than Doing

I realized that over the past few years with so much to do, I was literally living off a to-do list. Don’t get me wrong; it’s great to have a to-do list. It helps to have an organized life, especially when you are juggling between work and home and child-care and tens of other things to do. But at the same time, you can’t allow the to-do list to start driving you!! That is precisely what happened to me. Instead of enjoying the moment and what I had just achieved, my mind was busy planning my next to-do.

Life is lived in the moment without worrying about the future or doing an appraisal of your past. Future is just a projection, and past now has no existence. Our limbic mind instinctively likes to move us to the past or the future because it is wired to keep us secure, which it does by scanning our past and connecting the dots to the future. It inhibits us from taking risks, having faith and believing in our highest truth. We, however, are endowed with a reflective part of our mind, which is connected to our core (to the Universal Consciousness) and has the ability to reason and control the limbic brain, if we allow it.

How do we allow the reflective part of our brain to lead?? Simply, by getting out of its way, by having faith in our Absolute Reality and by learning to flow with life by being mindful and keeping our awareness in the present moment.

“Realize deeply that the present moment is all you have. Make the NOW the primary focus of your life.” ― Eckhart Tolle

Quit trying to control things or as my daughter says, “just chill.” Have faith and trust in the process of life, the infinite intelligence that is your core will guide you through the flow of life. Live in the moment — Be alive to the joys of living, do not worry about the future or focus on past regrets.

“The more you try to control something, the more it controls you. Free yourself and let things take their own natural course.” ― Buddha

I wrote more on the art of ‘Being’ in the following article.

Be yourself

Stay connected to who you intrinsically are and accept yourself with all your goods & not so goods! If you want to change anything, do that because it adds value to your life, because you feel strongly about it and you are motivated to do it not because you are trying to impress anyone! Focus only on impressing your Self.

It is only when you share your authentic, genuine Self with others, that you build relationships that last.

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” — Oscar Wilde

I have always looked at courage as a key-value, a value I respect in others and have tried to imbibe and live by in my life. What I found most challenging in my last few years was sharing my vulnerabilities, saying ‘I don’t know,’ asking for help! Because I wanted to appear to be strong and courageous. I was trying to be this superwoman who has it “all” but at an extremely high cost??

I now realize that the greatest courage is accepting your vulnerabilities and working towards overcoming them, with the support of your friends & family.

Pursue your passion and pursue all avenues of life with passion

At all times, stay connected to your passion and follow your bliss.

If you stay connected to your true Self, you will never go wrong with your instinct. Have faith in the process of life and focus on enjoying the journey rather than putting your attention on the outcome.

“It is good to have an end to journey towards; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.” — Ernest Hemingway

Treat yourself with love and compassion.

Somewhere in my journey, my responsibilities, my external identity, my pursuit for a “perfect life” became so over-arching that I forgot to prioritize myself!! My intrinsic needs and priorities. I forgot that my first relationship is with “myself” and only when that is aligned and in harmony, will I be able to nurture and build other relationships in my life.

Unconditional positive regard not just others in my life but for myself, is my reframed mantra. We sometimes get unnecessarily hard on ourselves. We deserve the same empathy and compassion that we show towards others in our life.

Set aside time every day to be with yourself, you don’t need to pursue any philosophy or put an effort to learn any faith, just connect to yourself and to what comes up for you at that moment, be it writing, painting, meditating…. Just be one with your true Self. This is the highest form of empathy that you can extend to yourself, allow yourself to grow spiritually.

Learn to Respond to situations and do not React to people.

Do not let what others think of you or want from you to hijack your power.

Develop a sense of humour to tide over the unhappy, unproductive life situations that are beyond your control.

“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserves your love and affection.” — Buddha

Create value for others, make this world a better place

A lot of religions and spiritual philosophies emphasize “Sewa”/“service” because service to others is the highest form of happiness that you can experience. When you add value to others, when you selflessly do something for another, the act in itself is so fulfilling, it has the power to heal and transform you.

“The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” — Gandhi

I end this article feeling blessed for this pause in my life, gratitude for the learnings and the rejuvenation that this break has brought forth for me. As we all traverse our routes, I wish you all more power and faith in your journey towards the truest and the most fulfilling expression of yourself.

Be in step with your Rhythm and enjoy the music 🙏