The Art of ‘Being’
Path to a fulfilled, happy life
Always say ‘yes’ to the present moment. Surrender to what is. Say ‘yes’ to life — and see how life starts suddenly to start working for you rather than against you…….Eckhart Tolle.
Do you remember yourself as a kid? This probably was the happiest, most creative, and the most intelligent phase in our lives! We did not need a big car or a lot of money to be happy! By the age of three, we learned more than what we will learn in the rest of our life!! This is because we are born with a natural connection to the ‘Universal consciousness,’ which physicists like David Bohm call ‘Wholeness.’ In our natural state the infinite intelligence/potential of the ‘Universal consciousness’ guides us to our best state which is blissful, creative and intelligent. As enumerated in my previous article in the series, ‘Wholeness’ — A Deeper Underlying Reality, at the very core of our being, we are all built to be happy and fulfilled, loving and blissful. We all have infinite potential. There is no difference between us and the ‘Universal consciousness,’ we are one! Like the droplet of water in the ocean, we are just an expression of the ‘whole’ and not different from the ‘whole.’ This is our real identity.
But as we grow up, our mind gets conditioned by the people and the environment around us. We learn the concept of ‘I’, we learn the idea of being unique and being separate from others. We start comparing ourselves to others. We start valuing the form identity (money, power, position) and in the pursuit of this form/external identity, we lose touch with our real identity. Our conscious thoughts are filled with thoughts and beliefs connected to our form identity, and we start to look for happiness and fulfillment outside us.
Slowly and steadily, the little kid who could be blissful with nothing around him, now needs a bigger car, a larger house, a trophy partner, more money, just to connect to the feeling of happiness which was his natural state as a child. Thoughts of the future make us anxious, and the past fills us with regret. We start perceiving reality through the tainted glasses of our thoughts and beliefs. These beliefs and thoughts that create our reality are either fixed or growth-oriented.
What is the difference between a fixed mindset and a growth-oriented mindset, and how does this manifest our reality in the form world?
The conscious mind is the conduit to the infinite potential which has all possibilities enfolded (hidden, implicit). Through this infinite intelligence, a person has the power to unfold (make explicit), whatever he/she desires. People with fixed mindsets work out of their limiting beliefs and thoughts that are not empowering. When these limited thoughts interact with the ‘Universal consciousness,’ out of all the enfolded possibilities, they make explicit what their limited thought believes instead of manifesting their infinite potential!! However, people with growth mindsets feel empowered and build a life of abundance by sending the right message to the ‘Universal consciousness’ through a series of empowering thoughts in their conscious mind.
‘We create our individual experience of reality via the vehicle of thought. Thought is the missing link between the formless world of pure potentiality and the created world of form…… ‘Inside out revolution,’ by Michael Neil, an internationally renowned transformative coach and the best-selling author.
People with fixed mindsets are set in their beliefs and ideas — They allow their thoughts to lead them without realizing that these thoughts are heavily conditioned and limited. They are not aware that they just have to reframe their beliefs to change their perception of reality. They spend a lifetime running after money, success, relationships but don’t quite get there. They assume that nature is partial! Some people get the lion’s share of luck, success, and money, while others live a life of scarcity. They blame it on their stars, their parents, their circumstances, or various other such limiting beliefs that are a convenient excuse for a mediocre life.
People with a growth mindset realize that their beliefs and ideas are not the final truth but a perception of reality — They regularly question their beliefs and build flexibility that allows for more empathy and understanding of diverse views. Consciously or unconsciously, they use the ‘law of attraction’ to reframe their beliefs and get what they desire. They do not believe any self-limiting thoughts that their mind may bring up. Thoughts tend to go to the past and make a person feel sad or go to the future and make a person feel anxious. While it is difficult not to get distracted by these thoughts, growth-oriented people have more or less learned the art of managing their thoughts and bringing it back to the positive. They have faith in their potential and are focused on what they want to achieve. They take responsibility for themselves and feel empowered to create their destiny. They go after what they want and get it!!
Buddha says, ‘What you think you become; what you feel you attract; what you imagine you create.’
NLP, coaching or therapy are great avenues to make you aware of the cognitive biases that you are holding on to and shift you towards a growth mindset. As you make your journey from a fixed mindset to growth-oriented mindset, you feel more empowered and more in control of your life. You start climbing up the social circle, get money, material comfort, relationships everything that you desire. And that’s when you may experience the decision point in your path………..!!
Attachment to the external, form identity has the power to make a person insecure. People start attaching an extremely high value to what they have achieved. Unfortunately, the moment we attach too much value to the external form identity, we start getting anxious about losing it. Every time anxious thoughts come to our mind we push them back. We meditate, we replace these thoughts with positive affirmations and feel better. But it keeps coming back because the root cause is not addressed. The fundamental insecurity stays with us and keeps surfacing every time we have a challenging situation to face. Our current status — wealth, relationships, power and position stop giving us as much pleasure as they used to and we start chasing after more and more to feel better, to feed the insecurity which sits in our belief/thoughts somewhere. Whatever we do, whatever we achieve, it is never enough!! We are living an empowered life, but nothing satiates our hunger to achieve. We end up spoiling our relationships, our health, and our peace of mind for an enviable external identity!
At this stage, we either get stuck in our insecurity and anxiety, or we can move towards the third option of a ‘Being’ mindset which leads to fulfillment in all areas of life. All it requires is surrendering to the ‘Universal consciousness.’
“They are the chosen ones who have surrendered.” Rumi.
As an analogy compare this to the current day cloud computing.
Just for a moment assume that the computers in the world are all conscious. Each one of them has some computing power as a part of its central processing unit (though limited), and for everything larger, it is connected to the cloud. The CPU of the computer just needs to dip into the immense computing power of the cloud, and it can manifest whatever it wants to. There is no need to exert; it just needs to be aware of this connection and just ‘be’, the connection is already there; all answers will come from the cloud. Instead of this, if the CPU of a computer tries to execute everything on its own, it will most probably try very hard but fail!!
How can we reconnect/surrender to our Cloud, the ‘Universal consciousness’, to get the answers that we need? How can we move to this third mindset of just ‘Being?’
By being aware. By being mindful.
As we move from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset, our conscious mind is forever struggling to ‘become’ something. If I am trying to be peaceful, every time an angry thought comes, my mind makes an effort to replace the thought with a peaceful variation. But is the anger still there, somewhere?
This third option recommends moving from the state of ‘Becoming’ to just ‘Being’.
There is no need to fight with your thoughts. There is no need to push yourself to replace your negative thoughts with positive thoughts (all of us who may have tried, would have realized that it is not a feasible option! The more you try not to think something, the more it will come to your mind). You just have to stop exerting and start ‘Being’.
Allow your conscious mind to move away from the external identity, labels, judgments, beliefs, thoughts, by being present and aware. As you move to a state of mindfulness, you become aware of your conditioning that has blocked your connection with your core. As soon as you become aware, without any effort, without any fight, you get connected to who you really are — love, bliss and infinite potential. This is what you are, you just have to wipe off the makeup, and your original self will come shining through. Let me take forward the example of the person trying to be peaceful. Every time there is an angry thought if the person just looks at it with awareness, without justifying it, without putting an effort to replace it, the realization itself will make anger disappear because from awareness comes your real identity, which is peace.
Your subconscious is always aware of who you are — Your subconscious mind is the creative mind; it is one with the ‘Universal consciousness’. Your conditioned, conscious mind keeps feeding the subconscious with thoughts connected to its form identity, and that’s what it unfolds for you from the myriad possibilities enfolded in the ‘Universal consciousness.’ As soon as you move to your original state of ‘Being,’ you stop associating with your form identity. Thoughts connected to the form identity will also eventually subside. What is left is your reality, and that is what your subconscious will now manifest through the ‘Universal consciousness’. As we get back in touch with our core and reclaim the abundance that was waiting for us, the world becomes our oyster.
“When I run after what I think I want, my days are a furnace of stress and anxiety; If I sit in my own place of patience, what I need flows to me, and without pain. From this, I understand that what I want also wants me, is looking for me and attracting me. There is a great secret here for anyone who can grasp it.” Rumi
The secret that Rumi is alluding to here is not to sit inert for things to come to you but get out of your way. Tune into the ‘Universal consciousness’ and tune off your mind, which is steeped in limiting beliefs or insecure thoughts and will be an impediment in your path to realizing your full potential.
This is the path of awareness, the path of spirituality.
Transformational coaching or coaching that makes you connect to your core and realize your infinite potential can give you a glimpse of what you can be; the journey has to be completed by you alone. Practices like yoga — a mix of bhakti-yoga (emotion), gyana-yoga (intellect) and, karma-yoga (action) along with regular physical (hatha yoga), build awareness and the art of ‘Being’ in us.
You may have been fairly successful materially, because of your empowered growth mindset, but as you surrender to the ‘Universal consciousness,’ you start living a more fulfilled, secure life. You realize your true potential and are inspired to take actions that bring you closer to a wholesome life, materially and spiritually. Material success is an offshoot of this. As you learn to just ‘Be’, you learn to act with interest and live with passion, not because you are expecting a specific outcome but because you are enjoying the action. You are enjoying the journey. You are in the present moment and enjoying doing whatever you are doing without attaching any expectation from the act because you are confident and have faith in your true potential, your core identity.
Vedanta says, ‘the law of life is that the mind should be at rest while the body engages in action.’
To give you an example of what this exactly means am quoting here the work done by psychologists Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi and Jeanne Nakamura, who interviewed a variety of self-actualized, high-performing people — including mountain climbers, chess players, surgeons, and ballet dancers — concluded that successful people work from the mental state of ‘Flow,’ which Csikszentmihalyi described in a 2004 TED talk as:
“There’s this focus that, once it becomes intense, leads to a sense of ecstasy, a sense of clarity: you know exactly what you want to do from one moment to the other.”
At moments, when we are totally immersed in an activity that we are absolutely passionate about, we may all have experienced this state. The mind’s usual chatter begins to fade away, placing us in a non-distracted zone. The feelings that would consume us under normal circumstances (inhibition, anxiety, hunger, fatigue) melt away, and all that matters is the dedication to the activity at hand.
“The creative process is a process of surrender, no control.” Julia Cameron
If you want to live a happy, successful (whatever your definition of success) and fulfilled life, learn to be present; act from the state of ‘being’ rather than the state of ‘doing.’ Be in touch with your real identity. Be aware of the limiting beliefs that are holding you back and not allowing you to realize your infinite potential. Have faith in your future, irrespective of what has happened in your life till now. Start taking action in alignment with your core values and passion and see your entire world change.
“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” — Lao Tzu
This is also the core belief of all religions. Religion does not propagate surrender to a person or a Guru, but to this ‘Universal consciousness’ which religion names as ‘God’. Science calls it, ‘Quantum field’ or Bohm’s ‘Quantum potential’ or ‘Wholeness’. Whatever the name we give it: science, spirituality, and religion, all three talk about the same concept albeit in different languages. It sounds very logical and scientific when we read this in Bohm’s ‘Wholeness and implicate order’, but it may sound dogmatic when we read the concept in religious books. That is because we are letting years of misinterpretation influence us!! We need to look at religion with a fresh pair of eyes!! Surrendering to ‘God’ or having ‘faith in God’ means connecting to your essence (the ‘Universal consciousness’), having faith in your real identity and potential.
The moment you start living from this state of ‘Being’ you will discover a newfound confidence in yourself and a feeling of immense security and fulfillment, which no external identity can give. Maybe it is the security of knowing that you are one with the infinite intelligence or as spiritual or religious gurus may say, you are secure in the knowledge that there is a higher Infinite intelligence or ‘God’ looking over you and supporting you. It is the same.
“You need to trust. To surrender. To ask for guidance. Go within for the answers. They’re within you. You have the answers. All you need to do is ask.” Karen Hackel, author of The Whisper of Your Soul