Relationship Tips
Rebuilding Emotional Intimacy in Your Relationship
5 ways to reclaim lost emotional connection
There are four tenets, or we can rightly call them “intimacies”, which a successful relationship must stand on, without which it is bound to fail. These intimacies are;
Spiritual… Mental… Physical… and Emotional intimacies.
These stands as the foundation for a long-lasting and self-sufficient relationship. But above all, Emotional intimacy possibly just edged past the others a bit more, as one of the, if not the most crucial of them all.
There are times however when we get complacent. As humans, we always do. We can get frustrated by life, get tired and worn out by work, marital or other responsibilities that we just seem not to pay attention to our partner as we once did. Indeed;
“That which is quickly conquered quickly loses its allure.”
Although in most cases, it is not that our significant other has lost their allure to us, we just are prone to falling into not paying attention to them and allowing things between us and our partner to grow cold.
All hope isn't lost, however, because in this article we are going to see how you can get that connection — that spark and intimacy back once more.
Vulnerability is a good place to start
To be vulnerable to our partner is a show of great trust. It displays our trust in their love for us — that nowhere in the world would we dare to put ourselves low but in their bosom.
The first catalyst to falling in love is been able to open up and risk been judge, but trusting that our partner will not.
It creates a place of genuineness, sincerity and trust.
Practice the art of opening up to your partner, let them see you still love and trust them enough to be open and be yourself around them.
Living by example is always the best agent of change
Everyone is always trying to change something about their partner or the world.
Nevertheless, if you do have some sort of habit that threatens your relationship, then endeavour to work on it.
Having said that, there is only one way to negate resistance to change in a partner, and that is rather than sermonising the need for change, we should first walk the talk and practice the discipline.
While you are working to reclaim intimacy, your partner may be harbouring a few resentments towards you for your own lack of participation. Instead of pointing the finger and highlighting what they have to do, start doing it yourself.
Compliments and Praise still do wonders
When compliments and praises go down, it is usually a sign of our inability to either see our partner or have the wrong notion that it doesn't matter any longer… It does!
To rekindle emotional intimacy, learn to rekindle the gift of showering your partner with praise and compliments.
As emotional creatures, we crave some amount of emotional food every now and then to keep our ego in check and to feel good about ourselves especially when it comes from the person we love dearly.
Our partners didn't stop been emotional after we won them over, so why stop with the compliments?
Practice random act of expressing affection
I could term this the act of been romantic.
While many have varying level of romanticism, and many people say they’re not romantic, which is true, but it doesn't take much to be romantic.
If you can’t be romantic then be affectionate. I like to see being affectionate as the base form of being romantic. All it takes is to say a few words of how you feel and mean it at that moment like nothing else matters. That is it.
Women love, every now and then, to hear those sweet words they once heard from their partners.
Do not let false masculinity fool you into believing it isn't important. Neither make the mistake to think because Paul’s wife doesn’t care about that stuff, then your partner doesn't too. Men this is for you.
If you love your partner, it takes just five seconds to say a few words to make them know they still rock your world.
Do not neglect the sexual satisfaction of your partner
The frequency of sex doesn’t matter as the quality.
Emotional intimacy can easily be rekindled when both partners derive great pleasure and satisfaction from lovemaking.
Learn to take the time to relearn in what areas your partners can be doubly satisfied. It could be that as time passes, what turns them on has changed.
And you’ve been so busy not to have noticed.
This is where vulnerability — openness comes into play. Be open and have a conversation on how to better please each other.
Make time and work together in making sure that both parties prioritise putting the other’s sexual needs first.
It is perfectly natural for couples to slip up. Everyone gets carried away. Everyone becomes complacent. It does not spell the end of your relationship.
It simply means you've got to pay attention, again — to your partner.
Do not mistake lack or diminished emotional connection as the end of your relationship. Intimacy, just like any other aspect of our lives, can grow cold when neglected.
So to reclaim emotional intimacy in your relationship again, as a recap…
- Vulnerability is a good place to start
- Living by example is always the best agent of change
- Compliments and Praise still do wonders
- Practice random act of expressing affection
- Do not neglect the sexual satisfaction of your partner
Written in response to Monday Prompt by 𝘋𝘪𝘢𝘯𝘢 𝘊.
