QUIZ: How Screwed Are You When it Comes to Finding Viable Childcare Options?

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crewed. You’ll either have to hire a nanny or move in with your parents.</p><h2 id="c822">3. Can you live on half your paycheck?</h2><p id="2359">If NO, you’re totally screwed. You’ll have to quit your job and watch the baby. Wait, you can’t afford that either? OK, you’re shit out of luck.</p><p id="c69d">If YES, congratulations! Although it’s likely you won’t be able to afford dinners out, vacations, Christmas presents, fancy cheese, or new underwear for the foreseeable future.</p><h2 id="31ec">4. Do you get summers off from work?</h2><p id="33cb">If NO, you’re kind of screwed. Even if you have a viable childcare option, chances are you’ll have to find a new viable childcare option for 10 weeks a year. Oh, and two weeks around Christmas, and one week in the spring, and the 10 random days that your school or childcare center is closed, and those three federal holidays you don’t get off for some reason.</p><p id="f904">If YES, congratulations! Now you get to spend 10 weeks feeding, entertaining, and cleaning up after children while not getting paid.</p><h2 id="aada">5. If an unusual event occurs, like, say, a global pandemic, and all schools and

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childcare centers shut down overnight, are you able to productively work from home and watch/homeschool your children at the same time?</h2><p id="489d">If YES, congratulations! You may not be totally screwed. But… really? Please re-read question #5 and try again.</p><p id="290a">If NO, please ask yourself: Why did you choose to have children in the first place? Stop whining, and just accept the fact that you’re shit out of luck.</p><p id="20fa"><i>Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this story, you might also enjoy:</i></p><div id="9f1f" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/im-officially-stepping-down-from-motherhood-c631c1d99f1b"> <div> <div> <h2>I’m Officially Stepping Down From Motherhood</h2> <div><h3>I need to spend more time away from my family.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*j9QyhflURXAuxylfVgvkBQ.png)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

2. Do you work evenings, weekends, or any other times that are not considered “normal working hours?”

If NO, congratulations! You may not be totally screwed. Just remember that “normal working hours” do not include anything before 9 a.m. or after 5 p.m. If your answer is still no, please proceed to question 3.

If YES, you’re totally screwed. You’ll either have to hire a nanny or move in with your parents.

3. Can you live on half your paycheck?

If NO, you’re totally screwed. You’ll have to quit your job and watch the baby. Wait, you can’t afford that either? OK, you’re shit out of luck.

If YES, congratulations! Although it’s likely you won’t be able to afford dinners out, vacations, Christmas presents, fancy cheese, or new underwear for the foreseeable future.

4. Do you get summers off from work?

If NO, you’re kind of screwed. Even if you have a viable childcare option, chances are you’ll have to find a new viable childcare option for 10 weeks a year. Oh, and two weeks around Christmas, and one week in the spring, and the 10 random days that your school or childcare center is closed, and those three federal holidays you don’t get off for some reason.

If YES, congratulations! Now you get to spend 10 weeks feeding, entertaining, and cleaning up after children while not getting paid.

SATIRE

QUIZ: How Screwed Are You When it Comes to Finding Viable Childcare Options?

Find out if you’re kind of screwed, totally screwed, or sh*t out of luck

1. Do you work full-time?

2. Do you work evenings, weekends, or any other times that are not considered “normal working hours?”

3. Can you live on half your paycheck?

4. Do you get summers off from work?

5. If an unusual event occurs, like, say, a global pandemic, and all schools and childcare centers shut down overnight, are you able to productively work from home and watch/homeschool your children at the same time?

I’m Officially Stepping Down From Motherhood

I need to spend more time away from my family.