I’m Officially Stepping Down From Motherhood
I need to spend more time away from my family.
Listen. I’ve put in a good nine years. I know I signed an 18-year contract, but I think we can agree that morale has hit a record low. Maybe it’s just time for me to explore a new direction, preferably one with more earning potential.
I must point out that the job posting was fairly misleading on several counts. It gave me the impression that the position involved more fort-making and less project management.
One thing I’ve learned about myself over the last nine years is that I really don’t care for project management. (I’m also not big into building forts.)
The posting also glossed over how much scrubbing of urine would be involved. It was mentioned, yes, but I didn’t realize this would be one of my core duties. I must have overestimated your ability to aim.
I always assumed that at some point, we might be able to allocate funds toward hiring custodial staff. But despite my best efforts, we continue to consistently go over budget and our overhead remains shockingly low.
When I accepted the position, I knew I’d have to work evenings and weekends, plus spend most of my nights on call. I also knew I’d get paid exclusively in hugs, with an annual bonus of breakfast in bed. But I think the benefits package was a little oversold. Or maybe it’s just that most of the time I’m too tired to truly take advantage of it. Also, I’ve noticed that the hugs seem to be decreasing over time.
To be honest, I really struggle with some of the team dynamics. For instance, your feedback style. I will say that your communication skills have greatly improved — when we first started out, it was almost like we didn’t speak the same language. But the feedback you’ve been giving me lately is just not very constructive. When you say things like, “You suck,” or “I hate you,” or “You’re the worst mom ever,” I appreciate your honesty, but I don’t understand how you think you’re helping me improve.
Also, the management structure isn’t very clearly defined. I mean, are you the boss, or am I? This seems to be an ongoing point of confusion.
While I’m well aware that this past year has involved many circumstances beyond your control, I do want to point out that my job description never mentioned anything about serving as a virtual school administrator. As you know, I’ve had to take this on — with no training, in addition to all my normal duties. Meanwhile, my custodial services are in even higher demand.
Really, and this is not your fault, the entire industry of motherhood seems to be on the decline. Our responsibilities keep expanding, the regulatory bodies just aren’t looking out for us, and we’re starting to feel quite taken for granted. By you, of course, but also by everyone else.
Plus, I’ve heard disturbing stories about other mothers whose eighteen-year contracts have been involuntarily extended another twelve or fifteen years. Can I step down now, and we call it even? I would suggest a leave of absence instead, but I tried that at my day job — when I was training for this job, in fact — and I’ve never been treated the same since.
If there’s no way to get out of my contract, would you at least consider transferring me to the fatherhood department? I’ve heard they make more at their day jobs, work better hours, and sometimes get to sleep in on the weekends.