The Other Side of Ego
Pushing Who I Ever Thought I Was To The Limit
I posted the story of my Herculean Life project and journey to date on Tik Tok (ME on video!!) and the pull to feel concerned about the feedback I’ll get is tugging at the corners of my mind, trying to eat away at me with ants of embarrassment and insecurity….It’s hard not to feel concerned and swallowed up with the thoughts of what others may think of me, especially when I’ve lived that way my entire life..Perhaps some will laugh at me, but perhaps instead, I can help some others too.
I feel proud of myself to push my being in to the unknown. I don’t know what to expect but I dare to live broadly and vulnerably. I so badly yearn to make a difference in the world. The most consistent request I have always asked the Lord my entire life growing up is
“Lord, please use me. Please don’t let me die without having made an impact first.”
What better way to revamp the way I internalize true self acceptance than to make myself the test subject through all these uncomfortable, self expanding ventures.
If I can liberate myself from fear of being afraid of how others interpret me, than I can inspire others to learn to do the same and all within the bountiful love and glory of our God. Because all I know for sure is that, freedom and power resides within ourselves and in living uniquely and un ashamed within the creation of us that he placed in to the world… I am not my own to be ashamed of so why should I be? I don’t have the right….Because God loves me and made me, I must love myself.
This journey with living loudly as a formerly exceptionally private and reserved introvert has been quite a humbling and grounding experience absolutely. It feels daunting if I were to allow myself to succumb to my fears.
It is possible that I could be socially attacked BUT I would rather do hard things that may even make the people that know me think “who does she think she is,” so that I may successfully be able to remove my false ego in the process of the challenge. My life is not about me and I don’t want to flatter myself anymore. I am here to serve and I am serving the lord full hearted now and pulling ever closer in to him.
What better life could I have if I removed the concerns of the opinions of my peers and my own ego and lived in what he says about me instead? I. dare. to. be. bold and commit to knowing that I am not my ego and that the problems my mind comes up with are not real. ALL the anxiety I have ever had is self induced, as it is for all of us.
Life is what your mind makes of it. This has always been true and I choose to live in the lens of a better perception.
There is nothing stopping you from doing the same.
Please be brave and come with me.
