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2023
Abstract
she wanted to express how inadequate she thought <i>I</i> was? Hmmm (tapping chin, and looking at the ceiling).</p><p id="8ea3">I swept out of her office without a goodbye, which she deserved. I passed a tall, thin young black woman cheerfully conversing with the bank teller. “Go on in,” said the bank teller, gesturing towards the sorry Karen with the stank attitude.</p><p id="e955">The tall young black woman happily bounded over to Karen’s lair. I wanted to say to her, “Be careful, there’s a hungry Karen over there,” but I didn’t and I went on my way.</p><p id="8d12">After meeting up with my friend in the warm enough New England afternoon, rubbing our hands over the flame heaters outside the cafe, I decided to stop by the independent computer repair shop. The bell clanged against the door, alerting my presence, and the man I recognized from before Christmas when I had brought my computer stood at his station.</p><p id="1395">But why, in good God’s name, did it smell like poop in that place? It hadn’t ever smelt like that before. I looked around. Was there a bathroom somewhere? I peered around. No. Just a smaller office and a supply closet. I mean, I was wearing a mask, so the smell must have been BAD. Had a disgruntled customer recently come in and taken a revenge dump on the carpet and marched out? I wanted to make some odor-related remark, but I didn’t really know what to say. In fact, I pictured someone else coming in behind me, thinking, “Did this lady blow up the indie computer repair store?”</p><p id="2696">I was wrongly implicated in this way in graduate school. I went into a single stall bathroom and the toilet bowl was flooded with diarrhea leftovers. Sorry, I don’t know how else to say it. I couldn’t stomach using the sight, so I turned heel and edged my way past the person waiting to come in. The door closed behind her, and one second later, it opened and she ran out with a disgusted look on her face. I wanted to rush up to her and say, “It wasn’t me, I swear!” “Tell her it wa
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sn’t you!” My friends urged me, but I felt too foolish.</p><p id="0a64">I‘m sure the computer guy knew the source of the stench, or at least, knew it wasn’t me, so I pleasantly explained my computer problem to Chris or Bob or Dan or somesuch. My stomach begged me to get out of there as fast as possible. ChrisBobDan was one of those guys whose statements continually failed to indicate the end of a conversation, like, “Ok……. so I’ll order the part and email you……” He didn’t look up and kept typing away. “So, we’re done?” I breathed anxiously. “Yeahhhh….” he drawled in an insecure, noncommittal tone, still jabbing at the keyboard. I dashed out of there into the fresh afternoon air.</p><p id="bea3">Thanks for reading,</p><p id="d01a">~MJ</p><div id="a264" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/karen-i-prefer-boa-constrictor-1eee10b46222">
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<h2>Karen? I Prefer Boa Constrictor</h2>
<div><h3>This insidious kind of Karen kills you with fake niceness.</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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<a href="https://mjadia.medium.com/i-cheered-when-they-came-for-amy-coopers-dog-38ee2da484">
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<h2>I Cheered When They Came for Amy Cooper’s Dog</h2>
<div><h3>She deserved it. But maybe call-ins are better than canceling and call-outs</h3></div>
<div><p>mjadia.medium.com</p></div>
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