PRAISE THE FUNNY KICKER THAT MAKES YOU READ THIS ARTICLE

Praise Thou the Algo, the Omnipotent Chooser for Further Distribution

Praise the subtitle that shalt not be ignored

All praise to Thee, Algo, this day And all the other days I’ll be writing on this platform, Praise to Thee, Algo, At least every six months, that I’ll stay in the partner program.

Forgive me, Algo, for I have not clapped For my commenters’ replies Forgive me, Algo, for I have not commented On my editors’ latest rant Forgive me, Algo, for I have not checked My notifications this morning Forgive me, Algo, for your chosen for further distribution Feature sucks balls

O my soul, O my bank account I need to be viral Just one article Please make it count

Teach me to write viral articles, that I may humblebrag, Teach me to write smut for it pays lots I heard, Teach me to edit, that I can submit to the big pubs Rise glorious at the partner payment summary day

O may my bank account on Thee repose And with sweet commas, my earning be shown Earnings that may me more readable make For I could finally pay an editor and prevent my readers the headache

Praise the Algo, from Whom all views, reads, and claps flow Praise Her, all writers here with me Praise Her, all readers waiting to subscribe to my newsletter Praise the Algo, Ev, and the cofounders.

May my referral link be with you, your family, your friends, and your neighbors.

With thanks to Kristen Stark for her inspiring comment on Preeti Ramachandran’s article:

Not sure why I tagged Kristen, she doesn’t have any more fucks to give: