Self

Please Pardon Me for Imposing on My Self

How I broke down my barriers

I’ve been hesitating this week to write, or even think of, my self-imposed limitations.

My immediate reaction was “I don’t have any”.

My gut told me that was a lie. A signal to deflate my ego.

When this inner conflict demands it, I inspect and introspect. I set the wheels in motion in my mind, allowing them to travel where they will. My heart will tell me when I reach the station of Truth.

I broached this in my morning journal three days ago and am thrilled help has arrived!

Overthinking engages the ego but letting go allows the heart and mind to take the reins and gently nudge ego off her high saddle.

The secret is to detect whether this trinity is competing or collaborating.

I hold with this definition of Ego in modern psychology:

“The self-consciousness system is the narrating portion of human consciousness that reflects on one’s thoughts, feelings and actions and inhibits or legitimizes them to one’s self and to others.” — Psychology Today.

Mind is more complex — it’s the totality of our conscious and unconscious processes, our thoughts, beliefs and feelings.

Ego and Mind are abstract concepts arising from the neural functions in our Brains but have no physical location.

Heart is the seat of our intuition. It makes no judgement and has a brain independent of the grey matter in our heads.

After help arrived, I could confidently dive deep inside for an honest evaluation.

I discovered doubt had burrowed into my beliefs. Every time I thought of growing my writing career, I shuddered and came up with excuses.

• I don’t have a website and can’t afford one.
• Why can’t I find the time to post on FB groups or Twitter?
• My poor eyesight and arthritic hands hinder my productivity.
• Too many other excuses to mention, including why I’m not ready to self-publish.

I noticed I had written none of this in my daily journal, which had become a record of events of the day but no mention of how I’m feeling.

The entries were comparable to minutes of a meeting — dispassionate and logical.

I realized my thoughts focused on what I haven’t achieved instead of patting myself on the back for how far I’ve come writing here on Medium.

I forgot how many wonderful people I’ve met during the two years I’ve been here — not in person, but our hearts and souls have connected.

This pause for Self-reflection highlighted I’d derailed my train of thought.

I’m bouncing. The three of me — ego, heart, and mind — are back on track.

“The mind is the limit. As long as the mind can envision the fact that you can do something, you can do it, as long as you really believe 100 percent.” — David Hockney.

Cause for celebration!

Thank you for being here.

My deep gratitude to 𝘋𝘪𝘢𝘯𝘢 𝘊. for this week’s timely prompt!