Please, Let’s Get Real

I’ve recently had a stroke of financial genius. There’s a large market for a product that has yet to hit the store shelves. The idea came from watching the Sunday morning news shows.

Oh, yeah — I try to get ’em in as best I can. On Sunday morning I endeavor to watch all the news shows if I can. I even slip in a glance at Fox to be “fair and balanced.”

During the week, I’m on the same treadmill.

I don’t mind telling you, I’m disillusioned. Not because of what the reporters successfully coax and cajole the hypocritical politicians to say but because of something else. Something I couldn’t quite put my finger on.

Something that eluded me — until recently:

Everybody’s teeth are too white. Too perfect.

Democrat, Republican, Reform,Libertarian, Socialist, Natural Law, Green: all of ’em seem to think having a set of impeccable choppers will make them popular — more electable. So many of you have brightly shining teeth you’d think it was a legislative requirement.

No longer my friends in politics, quite the contrary.

A matter of trust:

I wonder if the people who collectively run our beloved country think that having a dazzling smile will make us constituents forget about our family’s struggles with inflated medical bills along with housing, gas and grocery expenses? The pandemic? The war in the Ukraine? The corruption in Washington? Climate change? Cyber Issues? Disinformation? And on and on…

May I gently but firmly remind you that — it doesn’t.

If anything it makes us envious and mistrustful.

Falsely perfect teeth, imagine — almost every one of you.

Regaining the trust of the American public:

I’m not suggesting you yank out your teeth or anything drastic like that.

Humbly, I submit:

Trust Toothpaste, with an anti-whitening agent: “The more you brush, the more honest you look”.

You can get it in four flavors: Coffee, Red Wine, Cola and Berry.

“Within a week you’ll look as trustworthy as Abe Lincoln,” I’ve heard said.

To see You Have Beautiful White Teeth, please: click here

This story was self-published 3/12/23