WRITING COMMERCIAL FICTION
Persuading A Reader To Commit To Your Novel
Reeling Them In Isn’t Enough
As hard as it is (in a hugely crowded market) to capture your reader’s attention at the start of a novel …
… that on its own is not enough.
A great opening hook can draw any of us into a book and keep us reading for a few pages, but there comes a point where we start to engage with the story, start to care what happens, our curiosity is properly piqued and we want to know more about the characters, the plot, and what happens.
In other words, we commit to the book. We no longer want those opening teasers that tempt us along sentence by sentence — in fact, if they carry on, we might well lose patience and cast the book aside.
Enough with the intriguing tasters. I want the real story!
Bringing The Opening Sequence To An End
Try to please everyone and you’ll end up pleasing no one
The key is to segue smoothly from your compelling opening sequence, with all its great hooks and teasers, to the start of the story proper. Easy to say, but how do you do it?
There is no rule that says the opening sequence must end after X words or X pages, although very often it will be at the end of the first scene or first chapter. The exact point of transition will always be a matter of judgement. To make it harder, no two readers will react in just the same way. Always remember that you won’t please everyone all the time and if you try to, you’ll end up pleasing no one.
It is useful to consider what happens at the point the story stops being a blatant tease to draw the reader in, and sets off full speed into the plot.
From the reader’s point of view, the change is from ‘This is interesting, I’ll read the next sentence,’ to ‘I want to read the rest of this book.’ Just as the reader commits to the book, the change can be made explicit by a character committing to the story.
A character commits to the story by making a decision, but not just any decision. It must signal a significant commitment. A character matches the reader’s commitment to the book, providing a useful subconscious signal that the book will deliver.
As ever with these things, they are easier to see by looking at examples.
Examples From Commercial Fiction
The key point centres on the reader’s and the character’s commitment to the story, and the significant decision that the character must make. This comes after the teasers that initially tempt the reader into the book. However, in the following examples, I will also list the techniques used in the initial reeling-in section because they go together as a package. For detail on those techniques, check out the 5 Ways To Grab Your Reader article.
The Last Room
Shock! Horror! The double sequence!
The Last Room is a fast-moving thriller that explores many facets of human nature. Written by Danuta Reah, it is a fairly short novel but packs a real punch.
This is the sort of example I love to use because it doesn’t fit the usually accepted norms. It has a double opening sequence. Shock Horror! Some writing tutors will have fainted dead away at the thought of it. But forget all that you’ve read about rules.
Well … almost all …
Now forget all the other rules! This isn’t about rules, it’s about structure. If you understand the structure, you can understand what makes the different elements of the story hold together. Use that as a foundation to break all the rules you like.
In The Last Room, the initial opening sequence is set in Cote d’Ivoire in Africa. The second, following a time jump of a few months, is set in Manchester, England.
The Elements That Hook The Reader
Summary of the opening sequence: A young woman, Nadifa, is attacked in a village in Cote d’Ivoire. As a result, she has to flee the country with her husband and children. This leads to the second sequence in Manchester, England. It is not only Nadifa who is affected by what has happened. The chain of events also impacts another young woman, Ania, a forensic linguist.
What specific techniques are used in the opening sequences: In this book there are several; an underlying air of menace, questions raised as to what will be the immediate consequences to Nadifa, a mystery over what has happened to Nadifa’s daughter, also an element of surprise as we see Nadifa’s situation in Manchester.
Persuading The Reader To Commit To The Book
The decision/commitment that brings the opening scene to a close: Nadifa’s decision is within the context of having lost her husband and daughter, having given birth in dire circumstances to a son she cannot bond with or even believe is her own. She decides despite everything that she will protect her new baby.
The Doll Makers
Never underestimate the power of a fresh eye
The Doll Makers is a light whodunnit, the 3rd in a private investigator series. A useful example for me because I wrote it and so am reasonably conversant with the motivations and structures behind how it was written.
If that sounds as though I don’t know my own book as well as I should, there is a reason. It’s interesting how often readers come up with interpretations that I never thought of. It’s one of the benefits of an experienced writers’ group road-testing a novel as it develops — they will uncover whole rafts of elements that the author had never suspected, which can sometimes change the course of a developing novel. Never underestimate the power of a fresh eye on your writing.
The Elements That Hook The Reader
Summary of the opening sequence: Annie is on a journey to visit her father. She brings bad news that will turn his life upside down just as he is winding down to retirement. She spends the journey mentally rehearsing how she will break her bad news.
What specific techniques are used in the opening sequence: a question is raised to pique the reader’s curiosity. It is not so much the detail of Annie’s bad news, as anticipation of the drama of the confrontation — that all too human fascination with witnessing someone else’s family drama. When she and her father come face to face, it is unexpectedly in the presence of someone that Annie dislikes intensely. This prevents her from immediately blurting out her bad news and enforces a delay until she and her father can be on their own.
Persuading The Reader To Commit To The Book
The decision/commitment that brings the opening scene to a close: At the point of confession, faced with the stress her father is already under, Annie finds a new determination to get out of the mess she’s in without his help.
How To Judge Your Own Opening Sequence
I have always found it useful to analyze novels that work really well for me, to see if I can uncover the underlying structures behind them. More than you might think recognisably follow the structure described here, despite being very different. It’s a structure that works.
It isn’t a miracle cure or magic bullet. Structure on its own can’t rescue badly-written prose. However, there are times when it is useful to break down an opening sequence into its component elements. For me, there are two situations where I push creativity to one side and take a deep dive into the structure.
- I’ve written my opening sequence, but I’m not satisfied with it, and I can’t pinpoint what’s wrong. Untangling the underlying structure is a great way to shine a light on a missing element, spot something out of order, or recognise something (superfluous back story… unnecessary description…) that doesn’t belong.
- I’m all ready to write but I’m just not in the mood. Even coffee hasn’t stoked my creativity. I’m an expert procrastinator but I’m sure most people can empathise with that Can’t-be-bothered feel. Instead of writing the scene, I list the elements I would expect to find for the start, middle, and end of this section. It doesn’t get the scene written, but it provides a useful skeleton to work on when the coffee finally works its magic.
The Mechanics of this Exercise for an Opening Scene
As an aide-memoire/checklist, here are the elements to list for an opening scene:
The start point
What is the change at the start of the novel? What are its potential consequences, and who will be affected by these? Does the story start before, during, or after the change?
The opening sequence
What technique(s) will be used to pique the curiosity? Where is the opening sequence set? Who is the main character in the opening sequence and how will the necessary information about them be conveyed e.g. age, appearance? What is happening and where?
Bringing the opening scene to a close
What is the decision/commitment made? Which character makes this decision/commitment?
The examples above are abridged from How to be a Fantastic Writer and used with permission from the authors and publisher. They are focussed specifically on commercial or genre fiction.
Reading is a good route to honing your own writing skills and examples of good writing abound. Sad to say, these days with so much published, a lot of good writing gets buried, so here are some of my recommendations. They spread across genres and run from epic trilogies to flash fiction. I recommend them simply as good reads.
The novels of Susan Alison, Stuart Aken, Linda Acaster, Madeleine McDonald, and Walter Pilcher between them must cover every known genre and a few more besides. I’m also looking forward to reading Ellie Jacobson’s first novel — how is it coming along, Ellie? Others such as David Perlmutter and T. Mark Mangum are prolific short story writers. I also follow many of the writers who appear in Mary Chang Story Writer’s 6-word-photo-story publication — shorter doesn’t mean easier — and others who share useful tips and entertaining anecdotes. They have in common the ability to create great prose. Read and enjoy: Dennett, Dunelair, pockett dessert, Anne Bonfert, Kris Bedenian, Kim Zuch, Katie Michaelson, Jennifer Pierce, Vidya Sury, Collecting Smiles, Pene Hodge, Diana Lotti, Will Hull, Nicole Anders, Danielle Hestand, CARMEN F MICSA, Sandi Parsons, Sanghita Pal.
