Inspiration

Perspective Can Blight You or Bless You

And guess what? How you see things is totally your choice

Liberty Forrest, Author recently shared a beautiful story that demonstrated two opposing perspectives, and highlighted how different perspectives can transform one’s experience of life.

It was a provocative story that pushed the reader to consider those moments in their own lives in which perspectives have been challenged. Or when they had a shift in perspective, whether conscious or subconscious.

Immediately, I thought of my mother and father

While they were married my mother struggled to deal with my father’s adventurous and entrepreneurial spirit. She doesn’t like risks.

Unfortunately for her, she had two daughters with him who both inherited their father’s sense of adventure and willingness to try new things.

My poor mother.

Every time I have had a new idea she comes up with all the “buts”.

When I was looking at the practicality of purchasing a piece of land in France, she told me all of the bad things that would happen.

Not that could happen. That would happen.

Each time I have begun a new business venture, she told me that it would fail and that she preferred me to train to become a childminder. That was safe. I wouldn’t even need to leave home for much.

Neither would I earn much, but that wasn’t the point.

However, there was another problem that she had failed to consider; I didn’t want to be a childminder.

I love children, especially my own — don’t get me wrong. But I like my time without them a lot.

I have a creativity and a need to express it, and I need solitude for that.

That time is precious to me. And that creativity can fuel an excitement and a passion that light me up and will propel me forward in life.

I don’t think using my days looking after other people’s children, day-in and day-out would have done that for me.

My mother didn’t understand that.

She wants me to earn money, but she would rather choose how. That way she could be sure that all of the bad things don’t happen.

One day last summer, I had a business opportunity for one day that would pay well, but I would have had to leave our newly-adopted dog at home, alone.

My mother researched the topic of dogs being left alone and that the following things would happen:

• She would howl while I was out
• The howling would distress the cats
• It would also upset all the neighbours
• She would hold onto her urine for too long and develop kidney stones

Okay, first I am just going to take a wild guess that she would more likely just curl up on my bed, as she likes to do anyway, and go to sleep. That dog can sleep for England.

Another thing she is an absolute master at doing is holding on to go to the toilet. She hates the rain like nobody’s business and will happily go all day without peeing if it is a toss-up between getting rained on and relieving herself.

But, my mother knows best. Because, you know, bad shit happens.

As for me writing online, she’s not keen on that. She would rather I find a cleaning job. It’s safer and the income is more predictable.

She did offer to help me to earn more by opening my articles and leaving them on her screen so that she could fool Medium into thinking she was spending hours reading.

I told her it didn’t work like that and, in any case, she would have to be a paying member for me to earn anything from her reads.

“Oh,” she said. “Never mind that, then.”

And that’s how I know I am safe to write this 🤣

My dad, on the other hand, has always been excited about my entrepreneurial, side-hustle journey.

He has loved me learning new skills, trying new things, and mastering some to be able to teach others.

My online writing inspired him to write his long-planned novel. It is in the making right now.

He became my first referred member on Medium and subscribed to receive my stories by email. He even reads many of them.

I often talk to my dad about the things I am discovering, the people who impact me, and the writers I love reading. We have plenty of high-energy, inspired conversations.

With my mother, on the other hand, I choose my subjects of conversation carefully.

Originally, I learned how to look at the world from her.

She likes to complain about people quite a lot.

It might be the gardener she hired who she has reason to complain about, despite doing a great job on the garden. Or it might be the roofer who gave her a higher quote than she wanted, and she thought he was just being greedy.

She always argues with people who work for her.

Or it might be the friend who let her down (or her daughters 😁).

I remember one day in my twenties, I was having dinner with my mother and we were complaining together about people.

For a moment, I metaphorically stepped outside of the conversation and realised that it sounded awful. It suddenly occurred to me that complaining about people was my default conversation starter with anyone and everyone.

“This…” I thought, “is not how I want to be.”

And so, I stopped being a people-complainer on that day and started being people-bigger-upper.

I started to see the good in people and I learned how to laugh, and find the little joys in life. I had many more lessons along the way that helped to snap me out of negative learned habits and into good ones.

Thankfully, I also had good role models to teach me how to recognise the good in people, ideas, and opportunities, and treat everyone with respect and decency.

Life is rich when the world around you is bright and not darkened by all of the bad things.

Thanks for reading! Here is the original story by Liberty Forrest, Author:

Trista Signe Ainsworth compares perspectives to flavouring our lives, whether with a sprinking, a spoonful, or a dash of sugar and cream.

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