People With ADHD Are Not Selfish

We don’t see ourselves that way.

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I asked ‌about how to get people to come to your group meetings on Quora, since that is what I am struggling with. One commenter did mention that in their own little way that people don’t come because they assume that I am selfish and that the meeting is all about me. And she did read that I mentioned “I” in the question a lot. I will also do that here, but I know that there are others who can relate, so that is why.

That didn’t come across in that very first meeting. Not to my knowledge. But I ended up thanking this commenter and letting them know that I have ADHD and I don’t notice these things. I ended up crying a few minutes afterward. This person wasn’t mean or anything, it’s just that I wish that I was told this years ago. (Come to think of it, this is the reason why I am not getting a thousand or more followers on Medium. Hey, close to 400 is fine with me right now).

All my life, my own mother had called me “selfish, lazy, and stubborn.” But I don’t see myself as any of those. However, my mother stopped saying that I was lazy after she decided to work with me at one of my jobs. But she still called me selfish and stubborn.

Nonetheless, I am not the only person with ADHD who has experienced this. There are many of us. And I know that we are not selfish.

ADHD doesn’t make you selfish. It makes it hard for you to get through your day. The symptoms associated with ADHD can be difficult for those who do not have the condition to understand, which is why we often see people with ADHD being accused of being self-centered or inconsiderate. But people with ADHD want to be there for others — they just need help to deal with their own symptoms first.

ADHD is a condition, not a personality flaw.

We cannot emphasize enough how important it is to understand that ADHD is a condition, not a character flaw. People with ADHD are not selfish or lazy or bad people; they do not choose to be the way they are (and neither do you). They did not grow up in a bad home with terrible parents who didn’t care for them properly (and neither did you).

The fact is, many of us grew up hearing things like “you’re so stupid” or “why can’t YOU just keep track of your things?” and we internalized those messages until we believed that our brains were broken and there was nothing we could do about it. But now we know better than anyone else: ADHD is real, it’s hard to live with every day — but there ARE solutions for coping!

People with ADHD experience the symptoms in different ways.

There is no one-size-fits-all way to experience ADHD. On a spectrum disorder, there are those on the severe end who have trouble with inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity; those who struggle with all three; and people who fall somewhere in between. Symptoms can also change over time as you age and mature. For instance, it’s not uncommon for children with ADHD to grow out of their hyperactive behavior but continue to struggle with attention issues later in life. Because of this variability in symptoms, it’s important not to judge or dismiss someone simply because they don’t match up with your idea of what someone with ADHD looks like. And remember: if your friend or family member has been diagnosed as having ADHD but doesn’t fit into any classic stereotypes, they’re still affected by this condition!

Hyperfocus is not an excuse to be inconsiderate.

Hyperfocus is not an excuse to be inconsiderate. It’s easy to get caught up in what you’re doing and lose track of time, but that doesn’t mean your friends and family should have to suffer through it. If you have ADHD, here are some tips for making sure you don’t forget about people who need your attention:

• Plan social activities with a set end time. You don’t want the party to end too early because you’re so focused on one thing!
• Pay attention to nonverbal communication cues from others — if someone looks uncomfortable or unhappy during a conversation, stop talking and give them space until they feel more comfortable speaking up again.
• Put away electronics during meals so that everyone can focus on eating together instead of checking their phones while they eat!

People with ADHD can get distracted by external stimuli, too.

It’s important to understand that the brain is a complex organ, made up of many different parts. Each part of the brain has its own function, and all of these functions work together to allow us to live our lives. One such function is our ability to focus on something and ignore other things going on around us — we call this “attention.” Attention can be directed toward something by conscious thought (e.g., choosing which book you will read) or by external stimuli (e.g., hearing your name called).

The ability to focus on one thing while ignoring other things requires energy and resources from your body, including those provided by healthy foods like vegetables, fruits, nuts and seeds — all foods recommended for people with ADHD (or anyone else who wants a healthy diet). If your diet lacks these types of foods, then you may find yourself feeling tired more often than usual because it takes more energy for your body/brain system to work properly!

Impulsivity can cause problems at work and home.

Impulsivity can cause problems at home and work. If you have ADHD, it’s important to know how your impulsivity affects others.

Here are some examples of how impulsivity can affect relationships:

• You finish a task quickly so you say “I’m done” and move on to the next thing before other people are ready.
• You say things without considering whether they’re true or appropriate, and are then surprised when someone gets upset with you for being insensitive or hurtful (or both).
• You get impatient with someone who is slow moving or doing something differently than you would do it yourself because they’re “wrong.”

It’s not always possible to prevent these situations from happening — but if asked how your ADHD affects relationships, this is something that needs honest reflection by all involved parties so that everyone learns from the situation rather than walking away angry and resentful toward each other!

Angry outbursts are not uncommon for people with ADHD.

Some behaviors that people with ADHD have are because their brain doesn’t work properly. People without ADHD can control their emotions and impulses, but for those who have been diagnosed with this condition, anger and frustration are completely normal reactions to certain situations.

The problem is that many people think angry outbursts are always a sign of selfishness or immaturity–especially when they come from someone who doesn’t appear to be acting like an adult should act. What they don’t realize is that some of these outbursts could be caused by undiagnosed ADHD symptoms like impulsivity or difficulty with paying attention. These behaviors may mean nothing more than the fact that a person has been struggling for years trying not only to cope with having ADHD but also being treated as if they’re a bad person because of it!

People with ADHD want to be there for others — they just need help to deal with their own symptoms first.

People with ADHD have a hard time controlling their impulses. If you’re like me, it may feel as though your brain is constantly turning on a light switch in your head that says, “I need to do this right now!” It’s not that we don’t want to act on our impulses; it’s that we can’t stop them from happening.

That’s why people with ADHD often feel like they’re making bad choices or being selfish when they can’t do the things they know are important — even though the root cause of those bad choices isn’t really related to what they want at all. Instead, it has much more to do with how their brains work: The part of their brain responsible for self-regulation doesn’t function properly, so it doesn’t necessarily feel as if they’re making these decisions and actions; rather, these things simply happen before anyone else has noticed there was something wrong at all (or even knows about their disorder).

Conclusion

We all need to understand that people with ADHD are not selfish — they’re just trying their best to deal with a condition that isn’t always easy to explain. By learning more about how ADHD affects people, we can support those around us who may be struggling in silence. And by being understanding when someone with ADHD acts impulsively or gets distracted during important conversations (even if it makes us feel frustrated), we help them feel safe enough to share their struggles without fear of judgment or criticism.

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