People Who Deconverted from Christianity Just Want to Sin

And other misconceptions many Christians hold

Recently I came across several articles on Medium criticizing ex-Christians who renounced their Christian faith and became atheists or agnostics, saying bad things about them. One common observation I have in reading these articles is that the authors simply have no idea what they are talking about.

I don’t say this lightly. My main concern is: What makes you think you know the true motivations behind people’s actions, especially if you don’t know them personally?

It’s a perfect example of outgroup bias. You are a Christian, so people who committed apostasy belong to a different group. If you are right that Christianity is true, those apostates must be wrong. Now, why would ex-Christians want to denounce something that is true and right? This is when many Christians start to imagine or assume ex-Christians have all sorts of undesirable traits. Christianity CANNOT be wrong, so it MUST be that something is wrong with those people who left their Christain faith.

It definitely could be that case, but like every other proposition, you need to provide good arguments and evidence. You can’t just assume stuff and declare that’s the fact.

In the rest of the article, I debunk three of the most common misconceptions Christians have toward people who deconstructed or deconverted from Christian faith. Let’s get started.

1. Ex-Christians just want to sin and not be held accountable for their behaviors

This is one of the most common explanations given by Christians on deconversion. But it is plain stupid.

If people want to sin, they would continue believing in Jesus! Being a Christian is a perfect way to NOT be held accountable for the sins one commits.

Christians believe that Jesus forgives sins, so if Christians want to keep their sins forgiven, they keep being Christians.

You may say that Jesus asks His followers to live moral lives, so there is pressure to be good and not sin.

Well then, does that mean Christians only live decent lives because Jesus asks them to? If that’s the case, we have a problem here. Do Christians want to be moral and good people of their volition, or do they act morally because they have pressure to comply with the demands of an all-seeing God?

Think about it.

Could it be that this accusation says more about the Christians who raise it than about ex-Christians? The former see no point in living moral lives if Jesus is out of the picture, so they project this worldview onto ex-Christians, assuming they just want to be free from Jesus and sin all they like. In other words, they might not believe it’s possible to internalize the value of morality. There’s got to be someone watching over them for them to behave well.

But the fact is, people can be good without believing in any deity. As long as they see inherent values in moral deeds, they will follow those moral principles in their lives, whether they believe there is a God watching or not.

Even statistics does not support this accusation. In the U.S., atheists only make up 0.1% of prisoners while 4% of the general population self-identify as atheists. Of course, it does not prove that atheists are more moral, but it does show that there is no factual basis to suggest that non-religious people are prone to living immoral lives.

2. Ex-Christians are prideful and do not want to submit to God.

In reality, a deconstruction of faith is an act of pride. — Walter Kahler, Nov. 11, 2022

This accusation is not only presumptuous but also extremely misleading. It presupposes that ex-Christians leave their faith because they want to disobey God, ignore His commandments, and reject His love.

But it’s not like that. Christians who raise this criticism forget one thing: not all people believe God exists. Ex-Christians are people who are no longer convinced that the God of the Bible is real. It’s not an act of pride to ignore what a non-existent entity says.

Let me give an example. The most popular deity in Taiwan is Mazu. She is said to be very compassionate and would bless people who venerate her. Now, I would not say Christians who reject Mazu do so out of pride. I don’t say, “How can you fail to acknowledge a goddess so full of love and compassion? You must have a hardened heart and are full of yourself.” Anyone can easily see why that accusation makes no sense.

The same with accusing ex-Christians of pride. It makes no sense.

I wrote an article some time ago dealing with a similar issue. Feel free to read it if you are interested.

If anything, Christians who deconvert from their faith most likely do so humbly. Why? Because to admit they have been wrong in the past 20 or 30 years of devotion to Christianity takes a lot of self-discipline and humility. People generally don’t like to admit they are wrong. They are prone to use all sorts of psychological tricks (e.g. confirmation bias) to affirm their points of view.

We are not talking about people who have been unbelievers for their entire life, but people who once were committed to Christianity but later decided they were wrong.

If they are really prideful, they would stick to Christianity because they would not accept the fact that they had been wrong in believing that Christianity was true. Their pride would not let them do that, so they would be willing to do all kinds of mental gymnastics necessary to keep their faith intact, to avoid entertaining the idea that they could possibly be wrong.

So, no, it’s highly unlikely that pride would motivate people to deconstruct their Christian faith.

3. Ex-Christians never truly believed in the first place.

My immediate reaction to the previous two accusations is usually to laugh them off, but this third one kind of gets to me. It offends me.

I get this a lot on the internet, from people who don’t have the slightest idea of what my Christian life was like. Yet they are so certain that I never sincerely converted to Christianity. This says something about them.

If you claim to know things you can’t possibly know, that does not inspire confidence about other beliefs you claim to be true. You sound like a person who is used to drawing definite conclusions from scant or no evidence.

I am sure there are people who go to church to explore, to feel what it’s like. They might even be baptized. But if they ended up determining that Christianity was not for them, they usually don’t self-identify as ex-Christians or people who underwent deconstruction of faith.

But for others like me, we definitely committed our lives to the Christian faith, for 10 years, 20 years, 30 years, or longer. To dismiss our claims about our past commitments is very disrespectful. I won’t go into detail about my previous Christian life because this article is not about my experience.

Furthermore, what does this presumptuous suggestion accomplish anyway? Nothing! So what if ex-Christians never believed in the first place? It does not mean their criticisms against Christianity carry no weight.

If you say people who experienced Holy Spirit would never betray God, well, that is just an instance of the No true Scotsman fallacy.

Conclusion

Christians, talk to ex-Christians. Get to know them and their stories. Don’t just assume stuff. It makes you look bad. It makes you lose credibility.

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