Patriarchy, Patriarchy (Underneath The Radar)

You know what the problem with patriarchy is? It’s kinda masculiney and toxicey. However what is toxic masculinity?

1st Man: Whatever it is, it don’t exist.

2nd Man: Why doesn’t it?

1st Man [slaps 2nd Man]: It don’t exist!

2nd Man: Ow! That hurt. I could be concussed.

1st Man: Don’t be soft, you ain’t concussed. How many fingers am I holding up?

2nd Man: Tuesday.

“The concept of toxic masculinity is used in academic and media discussions of masculinity to refer to certain cultural norms that are associated with harm to society and men themselves.” — dictionary.cambridge.org

What is denial? A river in Egypt.

A person, who wasn’t at all wise once said, “If you pretend long enough that something don’t exist it won’t exist long enough to need pretending for.”

How do you defend the indefensible? How do you explain away the obvious? Apparently it’s very easy.

There is a scene in the film Hell and High Water that gives a denier of toxic masculinity a perfect opportunity to practice their art. By the way, Hell and High Water is a 1954 film starring Bella Darvi and Richard Widmark who are part of a scientific team, during the Cold War, searching for a Chinese atomic island base so they can prevent a Communist plot against America that could trigger WW3.

The scenario. A female scientist boards a submarine.

The Question: What is the legitimate reason for not having this woman on the submarine?

The answers:

(A). Health and Safety. Women are forbidden from sailing on military vessels because Captains believe their presence will anger the sea gods, who will cause rough waves and violent weather.

(B). Regulations. Broads call submarines “underwater boats.” Them Dames ain’t got no respect.

(C). Logistics. The woman claims to be a scientist so all she’ll do is talk fancy with big sciency words, plus multi languagey, even though she’s still only talking about clothes and make-up.

(D). Navigation. The men can do without a woman telling them they should ask for directions.

(E). Naval Intelligence. Every time the woman goes up and down the ladder the men will be forced to look at her arse. We’re men ain’t we!

Epilogue

1st Person: What’s your favourite nautical film.

Me: Carry On Screaming. The jokes are immature, but I do find them funny.

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