Patriarchy, Patriarchy (Ahoy Me Hearties)
You know what the problem with patriarchy is? It’s kinda masculiney and toxicey. However what is toxic masculinity?
1st Pirate: Whatever it be, it be not existing.
2nd Pirate: Why it be not existing?
1st Pirate: It don’t be existing that be why.
2nd Pirate: Why not?
1st Pirate: Do you be wanting to walk the plank?
“Toxic masculinity is an attitude or set of social guidelines stereotypically associated with manliness that often have a negative impact on men, women, and society in general.” — webmd.com
What is denial? A river in Egypt.
A person, who wasn’t at all wise once said, “If you pretend long enough that something don’t exist it won’t exist long enough to need pretending for.”
How do you defend the indefensible? How do you explain away the obvious? Apparently it’s very easy.
The Golden Age of Piracy gives a denier of toxic masculinity a perfect opportunity to practice their art.
What was The Golden Age of Piracy?
“The Golden Age of Piracy is a common designation for the period between the 1650s and the 1730s, when maritime piracy was a significant factor in the histories of the Caribbean, the United Kingdom, the Indian Ocean, North America, and West Africa.” — Wikipedia
A pirate would say, “Pirates be men. Pirating be a male industry.”
However, there were women pirates, such as Ching Shih
and Anne Bonny, who had a film made about her called, Anne of The Indies.
The Question: So, why did male pirates not want women on board their ships?
1st Pirate: They be allowed on board. She be on the bow. She be called a figurehead. Oh, you be meaning real women? Carrying on landlubber….
The answers:
(A). Superstition
We be pirates. We be believing in bad luck but not be believing in karma. Women on board be spelling disaster at sea, but robbing and killing be having no consequences.
(B). Navigation
Women be not able to parallel dock ships.
(C). Remuneration
Women be wanting equal share of the booty. Why you be laughing?
(D). Allocation
Women be always expecting us pirates to chuck the rubbish overboard.
(E). Categorisation
We be pirates. Women be putting the ‘Ho’ into ‘Ho Ho Ho And A Bottle Of Rum.’
Epilogue
1st Person: What’s your favourite pirate film?
Me: Actually I have a favourite exotic pirate exercise DVD. Pilates of the Caribbean.
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