Part II: Choose your Journey: Becoming
Why I am intentionally choose the paths of decolonizing and deconstructing.
PART I:
#WEKNOW
I know I will not be distracted or gaslighted. Gaslighting is an abuse tactic, and as an African American woman who lives in America, I know I am in an abusive relationship with this nation. What I will not do is lie down and accept the abuse. You want to piss off an abuser; push back, fight back, or let water roll off a duck’s back.
Created By Author with information from: https://www.healthline.com/health/signs-of-mental-abuse#humiliation-and-criticism
When I was still working for corporate, I worked with a young lady who was Italian American. She was proud of her Immigrant-American heritage, as she should be. However, one day this young lady attempted to explain to me my place in America by invoking the American caste system of “I am white, and you are Black”. I smirked and told her, “You are either Italian American or white; you can’t be both.” She was not sure how to handle that one. I then reminded her that I am African American, not Black.
Black is at the bottom of this fake ass socially constructed caste system, and you don’t get to call me Black. I only accept that term from other African diasporas.
I have had European Diaspora men attempt to put me in my place by discussing how they are so American . Whether overt of subtle, the was always a challenge to my Americanness. This is where I smile serenely then I start asking questions: What is your definition of American? Who get to define what American is? “If you are so American, did you serve? Did your parents serve? Do you have siblings who serve? Uncles, Aunts, Grandparents?” I typically don’t have to press much further. If need be, I do have questions lined up.
Somewhere in their heads they had equated descendants of the vile oppressive system with UNAMERICAN. As I smirk and share how American my family is I know what they are thinking. they have equated being a descendant of the enslaves as not being an American.
One of my favorite hashtags is #WEKNOW. We know who you stole, and it was not just run-of-the-mill folks. The slavers wanted those with strong knowledge bases, whether it was in agriculture, seamstresses, arts, master masons, metallurgists, intellectuals, and the list goes on. We know why teaching an enslaved person to read was a crime punishable by DEATH. #WEKNOW that we had writing systems, and educational institutions.
#WEKNOW that these cruel laws were not just about keeping the enslaved dumb about what was taking place around them. We know it was to generational erase the knowledge we already had and to prevent us from sharing it and communicating amongst us. Not reading and writing was to keep the blind from sharing what they already knew. #WEKNOW
When you are walking through these architectural masterpieces from the past, remember that the enslaved built them. Next time you are in DC, remember that an African man who help designed it. The next time you pick up an almanac to garden, it came from an African man. We know that too.
I can’t tell you how many times I have heard:
“If you don’t like America you can go back to Afriuka.”
“Or you can thank western civilization for technology.”
“If it wasn’t for us you would still being living in mud huts.”
I have evolved to the point that I can I literally roll my eyes and keep moving. By looking back I understand the contributions that we the African Diaspora provide to society as a whole. Those mud huts that tey taunt us over, architect are building all over from Italy to California as sustainable housing innovation.
From the traffic light, your security system, the iron board that you use, having an indoor toilet, to the damn 5G network and cellphone in your hand you can thank African Diaspora. Have you received an vaccine? Ever had a cesarean birth? Every game played with a super-soaker? Ever drive in an ambulance, or does your car use automatic transmissions? Do you ride in elevators for work or have you ever seen those disposable IV bags at a hospital? Thank the African Diaspora. I am not saying this to minimize any other contributions to the world we live in.
I don’t have enough time to go through all of the everyday inventions that the African Diaspora created, co-created, or collaborated with others on. I am saying with the level of dismissal of our achievement and contributions to the world we all enjoy, I will not allow colonizers willful ignorance be used as a tool against me.
I decolonize so I don’t internalize macro- and micro-aggressions from white people. I will disengage because it is not worth my time, energy, and effort. I know that whatever they say is nothing but gaslighting or a distraction. If not knowing the truth is the only way you can feel superior, I will leave you in your blindness. #WEKNOW.
Brookings.com
I will not be gaslighted into believing anything else. It allows me to see the connections between the past and present as well as what tactics the enemy used in the past and now in the present.
If you are disgusted with Hitler and the Holocaust or keeping an eye on the genocide and 2nd Nakba that are taking place, Know that the playbook that is being used against both people groups was American-created and handed over to other fascist nations and colonizer states.
For those who are worried about a fascist government disrupting your way of life or freedoms, you have never been an African or Indigenous American. For our people groups we have always lived under a fascist government.
Staying Sane While Looking at Past Pain?
I strongly value my mental health and state of being. I chose not to do social work because I realized I could not do that every day and be the same person. The same is true of my reflections on the past, keeping up with current events, as well as be a wake pertaining to Palestine, the Congo, and other global atrocities that are funded by our taxes. I have to shift gears; while writing this article, I am currently listening to one romance and working my way through a fantasy book series. I personally have not read as many non-fiction books as I would have liked this year due to the amount of past and current events I have learned about.
However, I understand the need to diversify my reading and writing. My reading and writing habits to stay out of a writer’s or a reader’s slump are the same. I don’t read or only write about 1 topic alone. Just like the wind, I go in whatever direction my mind leads me. When building a platform it is best to have 3 pillars. You are setting the standard of what your audience/customer can expect from you. It is also the same tactic I use for staying mentally sane.
I diversify my reading and my writing. I read: romance books, science fiction, history self-help, science, children’s books, young adults, fantasy, and the list goes on. It keeps me from getting bored; I get to see the world from various perspectives, and I learn about various topics. Balancing my learning of past and current systems with other topics helps me maintain my sanity.
Reading is cheap. You can buy some books for the cost of a drink, others for the cost of a fast-food meal, and some may cost you a meal at a nice restaurant. That is how I justify my book purchase.
I travel, whether to local parks, various places around the state or region, or a different country. I travel to see myself and the world around me from a different perspective. We keep a membership to our state parks; it costs $100 annually, and my family gets admission to any state park. I can bring my lunch and some toys, and we will see something different. Going to the zoo, museums, and aquariums is educational and exposure for kids, but you also get a chance to remind us adults of some of the better qualities of humanity. Travel put my life into perspective in a larger context.
Decolonizing is one of the tools in my toolbox of “Becoming” who I am meant to be. It is not always pleasant but it is necessary for being confident in who I am in my humanity, while recognizing the humanity in others.
Scarlet Ibis James 🦩 This long ass response is from a conversation we were having back in September in the comment section of one of my articles. I apologize for the delay in response.
Aleena G I added a section in here on how I don’t deal with writers block. the short answer is I diversify my activities and writings topics. However the subject is covered under the heading: “Staying Sane While Looking at Past Pain?” I apologize for the delay in response.
Shanté
© 2023 Shanté Nixon. All rights reserved
Want to Connect? Paetron:: TikTok:: Estella Creates:: LinkTree:: Amazon Storefront
Hey Fam,
If you enjoyed or received some kind value 🎁 from this article🎭, please share claps 👏🏾with us and join the conversation🗣️ by commenting! I want to hear from you🫵🏾!!
Disclaimer: As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
RESOURCES AND SOURCES
www.psycom.net/trauma/epigenetics-trauma
www.webmd.com/mental-health/what-is-intergenerational-trauma
